The Dentist
by The Ace of Authors
Summary: Piccolo just can't seem to catch a break. A long and trying divorce, an eccentric brother, and a best friend in the form of a little teenager... Can the dentist, with a little help from Sarah and Nail, rise out of despondency?
1. Chapter 1

The Dentist

The feeling of happiness died the moment he woke up.

One long, green hand moved across the wooden table as the alarm blared hatefully. The large fingers clicked the snooze button as their owner groggily sat up. Another Monday morning.

The man ran a hand over his smooth head and sighed. He really hated the morning. And the night. And all the time in between. He yawned and popped his back, sending small cracking noises throughout the cold room. He had forgotten to turn up his thermostat again, and the frigid winter air gushed in through the window he had left open in the kitchen, eventually circulating through the entire house. He shivered and rubbed his hands together, getting out of the king sized, crimson-covered bed. Bad days started like this.

He quickly went downstairs and into the dark foyer. He flipped on the light and searched for his heater switch. He quickly adjusted the temperature to a more comfortable72 degrees, instead of the present 59.

That done, he briskly walked into the spacious kitchen and turned on the overhead light. He found his coffee machine and pressed 'on', waiting to leave until he heard the constant 'drip drip' of the brewing liquid. He strode back up the stairs to the master bathroom and turned on the shower. Soon, a steady amount of steam rose and he discarded his black boxers in the laundry basket. He winced as the hot water pounded his skin. He quickly reached for his soap and proceeded in continuing his mundane morning rituals.

Everyday, except for Saturday and Sunday, was the same for him. He didn't really mind, though. It was when something went horribly wrong and unexpected that he had a problem. He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, walking into his room to get dressed. He wore the same thing everyday, too. A crisp white shirt and black tie with black pants and shoes. He was often said to go to funerals everyday.

He noted with agitation that one of his socks had made itself missing. He got on one knee and looked around for it, suspecting he accidentally dropped it. He found it under his bed, where he must have kicked it by mistake. As he held the black material he was reminded of his ex-wife.

She had always done something with one of his possessions every morning. Sometimes she hid his glasses, other times she took all the towels from the bathroom while he was showering. But her favorite thing was to take just one of his socks. She knew it drove him crazy. He growled and shoved his foot inside the dark sock. He wondered if she did that with her gigolo now. He chuckled a short, hard laugh and stood up. It wasn't likely, since they probably never talked. They just screwed each other whenever they could.

Like every man who went through a long and trying divorce, he hated his wife. He really wished she would do the world a favor and play in noonday traffic.

-

He listened dully to the monotone news reporter as he read off stock exchanges. He liked old jazz and blues music, but sadly they depressed him now. He couldn't stand rap, and he'd just as soon scratch his eyes out then listen to country. Once upon a time he enjoyed rock, but listening to the classics like AC/DC or Guns and Roses made him feel old. So, stock listings it was.

He peered out his window with mild interest as a police man arrested a thuggish-looking man, who was currently yelling at the top of his lungs, exposing his several gold teeth.

'Who the hell would _want_ those damn things?' He wondered silently to himself. As a doctor who worked with teeth for a living, he took notice of people's mouths before anything else. He really hated his job.

-

"Good morning, Dr. Damioh. How are you feeling today?" The young receptionist asked politely as he entered the clinic.

"Can't complain." He muttered, taking off his jacket. "How's your son doing?" He asked, feigning concern. The kid could be doing 10-15 at Sing Sing for all he cared.

"Great, thanks for asking. His check-up is coming up soon!"

"Can't wait." He said in a monotone voice. He went into his office and hung his jacket up, then sat down in his large swivel chair. He looked out his window and watched the sleeting rain fall. He loathed these kinds of days. His wife had always made him sit on the porch with her and watch the stupid wet drops splatter against the sidewalk. He had enjoyed the time with her then. Now he just thought of how much happier he could be now if he had just thrown himself off a high building.

He was so caught up in his reminiscing that he didn't hear his assistant come in. More to the point, he didn't hear the knocking that he had instructed him to always do when entering his office.

"Hey Dr. D! Ready for another big day?" The cheerful young man asked, grinning. His hair, besides being completely unmanageable, was pitch black, matching his large eyes. He wore a bright orange shirt today. The dentist sighed and rubbed his eyes.

He knew it was useless to remind the guy NOT to call him 'Dr. D.' Second, he could feel a severe headache coming on because of the sheer brightness of his shirt. Another unpleasant memory. His wife loved cheery colors, and always wore pink, purple, and yellow. The dentist began to suffer from migranes soon after the divorce came through, five months ago.

"Uh, Doctor? You feeling ok?" The dentist realized he hadn't responded at all to the question.

"Fine, Goku. How's your family doing?" He took his glasses off and rubbed them while Goku rattled off about his wife and son, and how they had done the Christmas decorations and other chatter.

"That's great."

"You celebrating this year?" Goku asked timidly, smiling. The dentist sighed and put his thin, stainless steel glasses back on. He tapped his finger for a moment before responding.

"Nah. Not this year." He said, resting his chin in his hand. "There's no point."

"Sorry to hear that, boss. How's, uh…She gonna spend it?"

"I don't know. I'll be sure to send her something."

"Like what?" Goku inquired, tilting his head.

"Maybe that squirrel I hit this morning."

-

The first patient of the day was a teenager, he noted. He despised teenagers. They always had gum, they never sat still, they continually mess with their hair… He just plain hated teenagers.

"Goku, bring her out." The dentist said as he checked his watch. "Time to get started."

The girl brought in was slightly shorter than he thought she would be. After all, she was 16 now. Standing at a mere 5'2, she wore short army fatigues and a long sleeved black shirt, finishing with bright red Converse high top sneakers. She grinned and strode into the room, waving.

"Morning, doc! Good day for a check-up, eh?" A loud thunder clap seemed to vibrate the walls directly after the statement was given. The patient shrugged and sat on the examination chair. "Well, I like this weather, anyway."

The dentist smiled wryly and put on some gloves. Goku happily brought the revolving light close to the girl's face and leaned back the chair.

"Now, we're going to take about 18 x-rays, sweetheart, so this will take some time." He said, inserting a piece of breath strip-looking plastic into the girl's mouth. "Just be still while we get these done." A camera device was brought so near to the patient's mouth she was almost touching it. He patted her head before nodding at Goku, who nodded and went to a wall where a button was, pushing it firmly. A faint 'beep' was heard, and the plastic was taken out. The girl winced.

"I don't like those, Damioh. Hmmm… Damioh sounds Italian. Is it?" She asked, receiving another plastic piece in the mouth.

"I don't believe so, dear." He answered dryly. The picture taking continued for another half hour before everyone was taken. "All done. Now, let's see what needs to be done." He looked at the x-rays briefly before the girl spoke to him.

"What's your name? Like your first name?" She asked curiously. The dentist raised a brow but didn't look up from the picture he was examining.

"Piccolo…"

"Mine's Sarah. Or Paco, whichever." Her feet tapped in beat, perhaps to some inner song. "Piccolo is a nice name. Heh heh, we need more 'Piccolos' in the world. Get it? Like the flute!" She laughed at her own joke a moment before becoming silent. "So tell me, Dr. P… hey, that rhymed. Anyway, why aren't you married?"

Piccolo frowned heavily and set down the plastic photo. "I was, at one point."

"Was?"

"My wife passed away years ago." He said, trying not to laugh. He wished!

"Whatever. Pictures of her would've been around, if that were the case. You're divorced, huh? Divorces are a pain in the butt. Buy hey, what are ya gonna do?" She closed her blue eyes and smiled. A blonde strand of her short, flipped-out hair went across her face as she spoke. "What happened?"


	2. Chapter 2

**The Dentist: Chapter 2**

Piccolo scoffed and glanced at the girl in the chair. He pulled on some gloves while shaking his head in sheer disbelief. Surely she couldn't be serious!

"I don't think it is at all appropriate to talk of my personal life with a complete stranger… And one not even old enough to drive, at that."

"I can drive, thank YOU very much." She replied haughtily, a red tint grazing her cheeks.

"Ok, then. How do you know, however, that pictures of my deceased wife wouldn't just make me sad?" Piccolo countered, smirking slightly.

"I can tell, ok? Look, it happens all the time. My uncle went through one weird-ass divorce. He remarried a woman who believes in crystal healing… He owns a vineyard. I guess all that wine finally got to him." She must have realized she was rambling, and stopped, grinning. "But, that's not the issue at hand, now is it?"

"No, your x-rays are. Now, open up and we'll check those pearly whites out." He said, using his latex-ed fingers to probe her teeth gently. He frowned when coming on to a back one that looked questionable.

"Does this hurt?" He carefully nudged the tooth, making the girl's eyes shut tight in a wince.

"Yes, dammit, it hurts real bad. I thought freakin' dentists were supposed to help that." She said in irritation, her blue eyes glinting with malice. "You meant to do that!"

"Why on earth would I mean to do that?" Piccolo asked, actually stimulated by an interesting conversation with a patient. Usually it was mindless questioning concerning whether or not the procedure would hurt.

"Because… I dunno, you got pissed at me! Dentists are people too! They get pissed, right?"

"Yeah, but they don't take it out on their patients." Piccolo mildly concluded, vexing the teenager.

"Even priests get pissed. Like when I got Father Bill all bent out of shape by telling him how I was plotting revenge against a young man and his car… He seemed more disappointed than pissed, though. He said I was one of the few that could go on to great things! Crap, I'm rambling again. Why didn't you stop me?" She shot at Piccolo, who raised a brow.

"Now wait just a minute, here-"

"Uh-uh. It's called courtesy. I asked you a question, which you blatantly lied about."

"It's CALLED mind your business, I haven't even known you for fifteen minutes yet!" Piccolo said in a slightly heated tone.

"Look, _friend, _I am just trying to help. I've been reading about this kind of thing, and-"

"And that makes you an expert?" Piccolo finished, making the girl growl in frustration.

"Don't you EVEN start that shit, Damioh. I get patronized enough at home. Nobody sees the full extent of my genius! Not even me!"

"You must really be something, then, kid. Because all I see is an nosy, egotistical, bossy-"

"Uh, doctor? Everything ok in here?" Goku popped his head in, looking anxious. Piccolo and Sarah both glared at him and shouted 'FINE' in a tone suggesting otherwise. Goku learned not to question things that didn't involve him, and slinked out.

"Well, I see an introverted, antisocial, teeth-fixing son of a bitch!" Sarah growled, standing on her toes to reach Piccolo's shoulders. She held her gaze with his for several seconds before bursting out in laughter. "Sorry, I had to see your reaction. I really do apologize, it wasn't nice of me. You just seemed like your nerves would go _twang_ if I didn't allow you to vent a little. You got to lighten up, Piccolo."

"Uh-"

"Now seriously, this tooth is a bitch. Can we x-ray it or whatever? It hurts like all get-out."

Thirty minutes later, Piccolo was examining the results of the x-ray. He smiled grimly at Sarah, who was sitting on the chair, humming to herself.

"Well, do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

"Uh, the bad news?"

"You have a cavity that needs to be filled next week."

"Shit. What's the good news?"

"Uh… There is no good news." Piccolo winced, making Sarah laugh.

"Ah well. I don't get much of it anyway."

Piccolo smiled in spite of himself. The girl was entertaining, no matter how schizophrenic she appeared. Most of the people he met these days were rather boring, and seemed to only be concerned with getting their job done and getting the hell out. He winced, pondering how he might be interpreted as seeming so himself. He realized Sarah had asked him a question, and brought his mind back to the world of the living.

"Uh, what?"

"Damn, quit spacing out. I asked you what happened to your alive and probably not-so-well wife."

"Again, none of your business. I appreciate the concern, but-"

"Oh, it's no problem, really." The girl said, waving a hand. "You just tell your friend Sarah all about it."

"We are NOT friends, kid! I met you a few minutes ago! Yoo…are…my…patient!" Piccolo said, emphasizing each word. "And you're about fourteen years my junior!"

"So? My best friend for my early years was in his sixties. He and I got along just fine."

"Look, this is just weird. I'm sorry, I really am. But I have work to do-"

"People to ignore, blah blah blah. Look, I'm leaving, all right? I'll just make an appointment on my way out, geez." The teen grumbled, shoving her hands in her pockets. "Try easing up between now and then, would ya?" She shut the door loudly behind her, making Piccolo sigh in partial relief. He knew she would be back soon, though, which is why the aforementioned sigh was only partial.

>

Piccolo made it home without any further incidents, luckily. He hastily pulled in his driveway, noticing the car on the street as he did so. He told himself it was a mere coincidence. Surely she wouldn't be here.

Nevertheless, Piccolo had a growing sense of dread as he walked up to his front door, prepared for the worst. He stuck the key in the door, only to find it already unlocked.

_Shit._

He opened the door and tossed his coat on the rack, and his keys on the table. He quickly strode into the living room, setting eyes on his ex-wife.

She was just as beautiful as he remembered her; long, ebony hair, porcelain skin, sky-blue eyes… Her legs were still very lengthy, and her chest, well… Let's just say spending time in the islands seemed to improve her even more. He hated her just as much as ever, too.

"Lila."

"Piccolo."

A tense moment seized the room. Lila smiled, while Piccolo seethed. He knew she thrived off of this shit.

"Well, are you just going to stand there, or will you offer your guest a drink?" She said coyly, smiling venomously at him.

"I usually _ask_ my guests to visit." Piccolo said quietly, not moving from his spot. Lila clicked her tongue and sidled up next to him. She moved with a feline grace that had always intrigued Piccolo, but now made him want to slit his own wrists.

"Baby, don't be uncivil." She said, loosening his tie. Piccolo remembered how she always did play games. She loved watching him writhe.

"Honey, don't make me sick." Piccolo said sarcastically, removing her hand firmly.

"Fine, don't be hospitable. I was just trying to be nice."

Piccolo sniggered loudly, shaking his head in disbelief. "You never stop, do you?"

Lila pretended to be hurt, making her soft lips pout out slightly. "You tease me, Pic."

"Don't…start." The dentist warned, his tone even more gravelly than usual. "I am not in the mood to banter tonight."

"It's really not like you have anything better to do, sugar." Lila said saucily, hands on her slim hips. "I just wanted a favor."

"How many of my closest friends will it cost?" Piccolo asked dryly, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Oh, quit being so dramatic." Lila ordered, her black brows furrowing slightly. Piccolo noticed, with _extreme_ annoyance, that she looked even more lovely when she was upset.

"Whatever it is, no." He replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. "So why don't you and…what's his name? Bill, Dill…?

"Phil, dumbass. And why don't we go and _what_, exactly?" She said, the spite in her tone evident. All the sweetness gone now, she reminded Piccolo of a wine that has been left out too long.

"You'll think something up, I'm sure." He mumbled, walking out of the room. Lila followed him, apparently very pissed.

"Don't think that just because I moved forward with my life, you can look at me for the source of our problem." She said heatedly.

"Lila, Lila, Lila… You are the problem." Piccolo said, smiling cruelly. "Now, you know where the door is. Don't let it hit your skinny ass on the way out."

Lila gave him a look that could melt steel and turned away. She stamped out in a huff, making Piccolo smile. He _loved_ pissing her off. When he heard the door slam, he quickly went over and locked it, setting the alarm system while he was at it.

_Could be worse, I suppose._ He couldn't dream of how she could make him any more miserable right away, but he'd keep thinking… And hoping.


	3. Chapter 3

The Dentist: Chapter 3 **Dr. Piccolo's blues**

"It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing, it's about all of us, together." –Peter from Office Space.

Piccolo dully finished his morning routine as he set the alarm system. He took the key from on top of the door frame as he remembered yesterday's encounter with the bitch. He put the spare key in his pocket and headed to his car. He bit his lip when he saw it, trying not to scream obscenities into the silent neighborhood. The tires were completely flat.

"That whore…" He muttered as he walked back up to his front door. He flipped out his cell phone and dialed the office, hoping someone was there already. After a few seconds, a female voice answered.

"Dr. Damioh's office, how may I help you?"

"It's me. I've decided that I'm not feeling well today, so please cancel any appointments for today and take the rest of the day off. Thank you." Piccolo smiled as he hung up. He hadn't missed work in years.

He wasn't missing it now, though.

He noted with agitation that it was beginning to snow again. He shivered and pulled out his house key.

-

Piccolo hummed as he spread another coat of paint onto the wall. He decided he might as well finish the room, since he liked every room to be in order, and this one had been gathering dust for months. He ignored the phone ringing down the hall, vowing that today, nothing was as important as finishing this room.

Several hours later, Piccolo stood at the door of the room and admired his work. He had peeled off the tape to the windows, and the floor protector as well. It looked pretty good for someone who barely did any DIY projects. The dentist leaned against the white door frame, remembering when he had first been looking at the house to buy. It had seemed so big and full of possibilities, he could barely wait to sign the contract to own the house. He had so many plans for it, so many dreams to be fulfilled. Now, he was thinking about selling it. He really didn't need all the space; It was a five bedroom, two-story Victorian that was made for a family.

That was the sole reason he bought the damned house in the first place.

Now, a child would probably be afraid to grow up in it. It was usually cold, dark, and painfully clean. Dust feared the house, and dirt ran in horror at the spotless abode. It was like a museum, one in which was very carefully tended, but without real care. Piccolo could see his own reflection in the kitchen floor tiles, and always in the streak-free windows. No little hand prints or foot prints marred the appearance of the sterile house. After the divorce, Piccolo had made it a personal mission to bleach anything his whorish spouse had touched.

Which had taken some time, and left him with a severe headache afterwards.

He scratched the back of his neck and checked the time. It was slightly past one, so drinking was now an option. He opened his fridge and found a beer. He took it out and rummaged in his cabinets for something to eat. As usual, there was hardly anything. He rarely ate at home, since he couldn't cook at all. He found nothing appetizing and decided to just phone for something. He concluded he felt like a sandwich, and called a good deli that knew him nearly by voice. He ordered a couple of rubens and was about to turn on the TV when he heard a knock on the door. Thinking it might be his wife again, he ignored it, until a masculine voice penetrated the foyer.

"Hey bro, have you gone deaf or something?" Piccolo groaned.

"Dammit, Nail, how did you get a key?" He asked, walking into the entry way. Nail took off his coat and tossed it on the coat rack. He smiled and patted Piccolo's shoulder.

"Man, you always left a spare, spare key under the mat. Genius." He remarked, taking the unopened beer from Piccolo. "How did you know I was coming, thanks bro!" He took out his car keys and popped open the bottle, catching the cap with his free hand. "Why aren't you at work?"

"Why aren't you?" Piccolo shot back, glaring at his twin sibling.

"Because no one argues with the boss. When I say day-off, I mean it." He took a drink of the beer and headed into the living room, shivering. "Damn, are you trying to see if you'll be able to survive if another ice age comes? Geez." He found a thermostat and turned it up, shaking his head. "I can practically see my breath in here, man! What's up with you, anyway?" He sat down on a couch, looking concerned. He took off his suit jacket and sighed. "You saw her again, didn't you?"

"Of course." Piccolo said spitefully as he went into the kitchen, retrieving another beer. He came back, looking pissed. "Wanted a loan to start something down in Kauai or something."

"With Bill?"

"Phil."

"Well, whatever. I hope you told her to piss-off." Nail grumbled, taking a swig. "She's the queen bitch in the royal screwing kingdom."

"Thanks, Nail." Piccolo said sarcastically. His shoulders drooped slightly as he sighed. "What about Christmas this year? We always celebrated it and threw parties, and everyone keeps asking what I'm doing for it this year."

"Say you're converting to Judaism or something." Nail suggested, shrugging. "Hell, I'm already tired of the holidays. I'm going on a cruise next week, set for the Canary Islands. Why don't you come? A little sun and warmth might do you good."

"I hate the ocean."

"You hate everything."

"So?"

"God damn, nevermind. No wonder Pop always worried about you, you're always so freakin' depressed."

"Going through a three month divorce will DO that to you, imbecile. You wouldn't know anything about relationships even lasting that long, though. You keep women for a week before they find out what an asshole you are!"

"Maybe it runs in the family, Picster! Ever think YOU'RE a damn asshole!"

Piccolo sighed and rubbed the space between his eyes. Nail glared at him before leaning back with a rather miffed expression on his face.

"… I'm sorry, it's just yesterday a kid brought it up again, and it really sucked to think about it." Piccolo muttered, slumping forward. "I'm not mad at you, Nail, just I hate my job and this city and basically everyone in it."

Nail blinked, his face changing to one of sympathy. "Maybe you should quit. You know, go back to school and get a law degree, become a judge or something. Never touch teeth again. As for everyone else, screw 'em! Society sucks, bro, and the system can't be beat. Might as well come to terms with it and move on."

"I guess. Still, I don't know why I can't just go to work and be happy."

"Pic, nobody likes their job. But don't worry, good things happen to regular Joe's too."

"… You like your job."

"… Well, that's because I partially own a hotel chain, stupid. I don't really work anymore, just 'pass judgments,' whatever the hell that means." He took a sip of his drink, thinking.

"You win. I'm acting like a little bitch, aren't I?"

"Uh-huh. You need to start crying though." Nail grinned, ducking as a pillow was thrown at him. "See, things aren't so bad, Pic. They'll get better."

-

"Sir, the child is frantic. What should we do? The mother doesn't want happy gas given to him. She says it's an attempt to drug people that shouldn't be legal." The small boy wailed in the dental chair, screaming that he wanted his mother.

"Ok, kid, it's only a cleaning." Piccolo started as he cautiously got closer to the crying youngster, then ducked as a small shoe was thrown at his head. He grabbed Goku and brought him to the side, seething.

"Dammit, Goku, I don't know how to calm down children. You're the one with a kid!"

After Nail left, Piccolo had new hope for his future. It was diminished as soon as he entered work the next day.

Now, five year-old Jimmy was getting his first real cleaning.

"Uh, ok I'll try." Goku said nervously as he walked back to the boy. He started talking in a silly, annoying tone to the kid, dancing like a damned Teletubbie. Piccolo covered his eyes and sighed.

_Why me?_

Suddenly, a cold hand touched his shoulder, catching his attention. It was the patient from the other day, smiling wryly.

"Looks like you could use a hand, Doc." She said, walking over to the kid. She pulled out a Gameboy and handed it to the youth, who immediately ceased his tears. Giggling, he began to play a game that brought un-natural silence to the room. Piccolo motioned for the girl to come to him, which she obeyed.

"What are you doing here?" He hissed, frowning. "You're appointment isn't until _next_ week!"

"I came to say I'm sorry, PD. I figured it wasn't my place to say anything, and I apologize for stepping out of line." She extended her pale hand, grinning. "Besides, there's nothing worse than having a pissed off dentist filling a cavity for you, right?" She continued as Piccolo cautiously shook her small hand in his own large one.

"I guess." Piccolo answered, a little relieved. "You came all the way over to tell me that?"

"Well, I really don't live far away, and I was feeling a little guilty. That Irish blood, you know?" She said, elbowing him gently. "Anyway, I figured you didn't really talk about the divorce, and it's time you did." Piccolo blinked in surprise.

"You're my patient…" He said slowly, raising a brow.

"Very good, want a cookie?" She remarked sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "You need to talk about these things, you know. I hear you can get sick if you don't, and I kinda got worried about you."

Piccolo checked in the other room, seeing Goku handling everything. He stared back at the teen.

"If I talk with you for a little while, will you go away?"

She nodded happily, grinning. "Sure will, Doc! I'll meet you after five, ok? Be here!" She waved and walked away, leaving a dumb-struck Piccolo. He knew kids these days were weird, but this one took the cake.


	4. Chapter 4

The Dentist: Chapter 4 

"You will all die- the fat merchant and the squinch-eyed lime burner; the gravid mother and the nursing child, priest and prince and prisoner- none will be spared, all will become dead meat, a feast for worms, a noxious thing that must be buried where it can't be seen or smelled." –Bishop Silvanus de Roquefort: The Priest.

-

Not for the first time that day, Piccolo wondered why he had let himself be manipulated by a little girl. Well, she obviously didn't talk like a young lady, but she still had that faint naïve innocence that hung around her like a wet blanket. Piccolo sighed and looked over the list of patients for the day. He only had a couple of fillings to do, and then five o'clock would be there, waiting ominously.

A few knocks of Piccolo's office door penetrated, then shattered the silence.

"Come in." He said wearily, pushing around various office supplies on his desk in anxiety.

Goku cautiously poked his head in, as if worried that his boss might throw something at him. "Sir, your three thirty appointment was cancelled, and you said I could leave early today, you know, to go take my son Christmas shop-"

"Yes, fine, go." Piccolo snapped, startling Goku. Usually his boss was quiet, and rarely spoke above a monotone. He wasn't the most affable person, but Goku knew he had had his share of rough times.

"Sir? If I need to stay-"

"No, I'll get that new guy…what's his name again? Jack something… Anyway, he can assist me in the last filling today. You go on home." He waved Goku's stuttering protests away, like some annoying and very large fly.

"Thank you, Dr. Damioh." He said politely, then quickly stepped out. Piccolo rolled his eyes and stood up. Having a different assistant than Goku might do him good. He was a nice guy and everything, but he was just so…ditzy sometimes.

He walked into the hallway and looked around cautiously. No one was loitering around, luckily. He really didn't feel like talking with his stupid fellow dentists. Especially the one who insisted on telling jokes that would make his brother blush. Which was quite a feat, since he himself enjoyed raunchy humor. After stepping through the hall a few yards, he carefully knocked on one of the more down-to-earth dentist's door, glancing over his shoulder afterward, as if afraid that the knocking might bring about a lonely soul looking for a conversation.

The door opened slowly, revealing a rather dry looking man behind large spectacles. He took them off, wiped them, and put them back on, looking at Piccolo's tall frame.

"Piccolo."

"Steve."

"What can I do for you?" He asked, in a tone that suggested he really couldn't give a damn.

"If it's not too much trouble, could I have Jack assist me later, at about four? I have a filling to do-"

"What about Son? Where did he go? I mean, you didn't fire him right before Christmas, did you?" The older man grumbled, his graying brows furrowed. Piccolo groaned inwardly, having forgotten what an ass the guy could be. Somehow the man always managed to treat him like a child of five, though Piccolo was much taller than him.

"Not yet. He just asked me if he could get off early, and I had already agreed previously to let him."

"Fine, fine. It's not as though he's much use to me right now. Being too busy talking on his damn cell phone every waking second, I swear…" The old man groused, stepping into his office again. "Oy, Jack, you lousy putz! Could you put your social life on a hold a second and come out here?" The old man groaned to his aid, who finally came out a few seconds later.

He was a young man, probably still in college. Piccolo suspected that he was in his last months of training, by the lack of the jaded, I-hate-my-life look that was common to many dentists. He looked like he would be more comfortable on a surfboard than a dental facility, actually. His hair was dyed an unnatural shade of blonde, contrasting his fairly tan skin. His shirt was a loud Hawaiian print, making Piccolo's temple pulse, as if by reaction.

"Jack, you're going to be with Damioh this afternoon, down the hall. He needs you at about four, you said? Anyway, it's just a filling, so you'll do fine." Steve rumbled, sounding annoyed. "I don't need you for the rest of the day, though, so you can break until then." He nodded at Piccolo and stepped back in his office, shutting the door loudly behind him.

A few seconds of awkward silence passed while Piccolo wondered what he got himself into. He could have just as easily done without. It would have taken a little longer than usual, but he could maybe get done…

"Old man sure is uptight today. He always does it this time of the month."

"Why?" Piccolo asked cynically, raising a brow.

"Alimony is due today, I think. He gets all pissed and acts like a prick all day."

"Oh. I can understand that, then." Piccolo remarked, glancing at his watch. Alimony was a bitch.

"So, Mr. Damioh, is it all right if I come back in a little while? You don't need me to set anything up, do you?" Jack asked, his hands in his pockets.

"No, four should be fine." Piccolo said, retreating down the hall slightly. "Just, don't be late, eh?"

"No sir."

-

He wasn't late, and the filling went over just fine, except for the moment when a cell phone ring had gone off when he was drilling. The patient was a little startled, but got over it quickly. After all, he wasn't about to let his _dentist_know he was nervous; he believed they could _smell_ fear.

"And if you'll just check in with the front desk on your way out…" Piccolo said, opening the door for the patient, who was clutching the side of his swollen face. "Remember, don't eat anything for a while, I'd say _at least_ two hours. Wouldn't want to come back here for a replacement, right?"

The patient merely cast a worried look at Piccolo and left quickly, who didn't seem to notice. For standing in his doorway was the kid, grinning easy as Sunday morning.

"Hey Pic!"

"Aren't you early?" Piccolo said, checking his watch.

"I like to say punctual. Besides, I got bored. Can we go eat? I'm hungry as a beast, man." She didn't wait for response and pulled Piccolo's hand, with the rest of him dragging behind, out the door and to his office next door.

'_For a scrawny little punk, she has a good grip.' _Piccolo thought vaguely as she waited for the dentist to get his things. She was practically jumping up and down from excitement.

"Ok, this will be great! Father said that I was destined to do good things for people, and LOOK! I bet it's a sign from God, Piccolo, seriously. HEY, don't look at me like that, I'm completely real, man. I bet that it was fate that made me wonder about you. You're sad, and I can help you out! It's perfect!"

"A lot of people are sad." Piccolo mumbled, but was startled when the kid grabbed his hand, holding it tightly.

"But that doesn't mean they should be." She said softly, all hyperness out of her voice. "I know what it feels like to always be sad, Piccolo. It's not fun, and it hurts."

"How do you know I'm sad all the time?" Piccolo demanded, amazed at the conversation he was having, much less with a stranger of five foot two.

"I can read people well, ok? Call it a gift, I don't know. But I DO know one thing: I think you need to get the hell out of this office and into the real world. It would do you good, Pic."

"Don't call me that."

"Why?"

"Just…don't."

Sarah blinked and stared at Piccolo. After a while she shrugged and literally danced out the door, an uneasy Piccolo in tow.

-

The kid had felt like eating fish. So they went to her favorite little place, "Fishin' Joe's". Piccolo didn't really like fish, but he would eat shellfish and stuff. So he didn't really have a problem either.

"How long have you been divorced?" The kid asked, continuing what had been almost an interrogation. Piccolo swallowed his crab and scowled.

"Did your mother ever tell you it's rude to pry?" He asked, but was instantly sorry when the girl's eyes welled up with tears.

"She's been dead for years…"

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

"GOT YA! Oh man, score one for sympathy, always a good trait in men. Hey hey, don't glare at me like that! Didn't your mother ever tell you that sending mean looks is rude?"

"I never knew her, actually."

"You're yanking my chain on this one."

"No, really. I don't know if she's dead, or out there, somewhere…" He muttered, shrugging. "It doesn't matter; if she IS out there, I don't want to have anything to do with someone who couldn't be bothered to see their own son."

"Aha, now we're getting places. Anger or resentment towards a parent accounts for much of society's sadness. What was your old man like, then?"

"He was all right, I guess. We never really did anything together. He was kind of absorbed in his work."

"What did he do?" The kid noticed then that her cod had been sitting on the end of her fork for some time, and shoved it in her mouth.

"He was a surgeon. He was always on call, especially in the E.R. I don't resent his working hours; I know and accept that he had a job to do, and an obligation to fulfill it. My brother didn't always feel that way, though."

"Brother?" She said in surprise, taking a drink of iced tea quickly. "Do tell."

"His name is Nail, and he's my twin."

"Oo, sounds dreamy." She teased, then bowed her head, allowing Piccolo to go on.

"Anyway, he's a partner in the Radisson hotel chain. He's pretty well off, and doesn't do anything, really. He comes to meetings, sure. And sometimes he investigates complaints and stuff like that. But for the most part, it's drinking and buying cars."

"Oh wow! How old you guys again?"

"Too old for you, certainly!" Piccolo said loudly, receiving several glares from other customers. Piccolo grinned in a nervous, apologetic way and turned back to the kid, saying in a more hushed tone, "Do you enjoy doing this?"

Sarah seemed to regard this as a trick question and thought briefly. "Yes, I do; it's a flaw, but we don't pick 'em, right?"

Piccolo waved over a waiter and requested a large draft of whatever the house was serving. Sarah grinned largely and nodded.

"You're not bad, Piccolo. Kind of antsy, brooding, and easy to set off… But you're ok." She said, patting his arm. "Now, what was your childhood like?"

Suddenly Piccolo was back at his shrink's office, sitting on the leather couch.

_"Now tell me about your childhood." The short man inquired, writing something on his sketch pad._

"_What do you mean? Just start from birth or what?" Piccolo asked in agitation. He hadn't even said anything and the guy was already jotting things down._

"_Whatever you feel is best."_

"_But you're the psychiatrist. Shouldn't YOU tell ME?"_

"_Whatever you want, Mr. Damioh. Do you mind if I smoke?" He was already lighting a Camel, despite Piccolo's abhorrence. "Now, were you and your wife intimate often? Or, as the marriage slipped, did the bedroom aspect also decline?"_

"_You just asked about my childhood!"_

"_You didn't answer."_

"_What the fu-ARGH. Whatever. Ok, can we go back to the childhood thing?"_

"_I suppose. Were you neglected?"_

"_What's that supposed to mean?" _

"_You know, malnourished, underexercised, ect."_

"_Doctor, do I LOOK like I was starved?" Piccolo asked, watching the shrink glance over his sketch pad and look at his large form._

"_Not all neglect is physical."_

"_I wasn't neglected!"_

"_No need to get hostile, Mr. Damioh."_

"_I'm not hostile, Dr. Briefs, I just am saying-"_

"_Sir, you need to calm down."_

"_But-"_

"_Please, don't yell."_

"_I'm NOT YELLING, DAMN IT!"_

"… _Perhaps that is enough for today."_

_Piccolo sat panting on the chair, his eyes looking like a ravenous dog over Dr. Vegeta Briefs, who symbolized a hunk of juicy steak._

"_Same time next week, then?"_

Piccolo shook his head, trying to rid the unpleasant episode from his mind. He realized that the kid had said something to him, and, judging by her look, he had been spaced out a long time.

"I'm sorry?"

"Damn, you zone out hard. I asked if it was a sensitive subject."

"Not really, just brought back some memories, that's all."

"Oh. So, what did you and Nail do when you were my age?"

"I played some baseball, and later football... but Nailstuck withbaseball. He had a talent for it. We didn't really pursue sports, though, since we kind of got bored with it. But Nail partied a lot… And I covered for him sometimes when my old man asked where he was. Not that he really cared that much. He just didn't want to get up and two thirty in the morning getting a call form the police to come and pick up his son. We switched places a couple of times, just because I didn't have to go to school until nine, and Nail at seven. When he was really hung over, I'd go to his morning classes, and let him sleep. I don't know how normal our family was…"

"Oh, normal is a bullshit term. If there was a 'normal', there would be a handbook and a teaching seminar called 'Being Normal: Fitting in with Everyone Else'. Don't worry about it, though. My family is all bipolar, I swear. And my brother Tom sounds a lot like your brother. But my older brother Seth wouldn't help him out at all. Said he had it coming. He's my favorite brother."

"How many do you have?"

"Three."

"Wow, one's enough for me."

"I also have three sisters."

"Damn!"

"And two, soon to be three, sister-in-laws, and one brother-in-law."

"Holy shit…"

"I know, huh? I have eight nieces and nephews, too. So maybe I was wrong… I guess we ARE the 'normal' Irish family." She took another bite of cod and chewed it slowly, thoughtfully. "Tell me more."

-

By the end of the evening, the girl had just about drained poor Piccolo of all his life, minus the divorce part. She requested that he drop her off at her friend's house, because that's where her car was. When Piccolo inquired about that, she looked smug.

"Because, silly. My mom thinks I'm at her house, and sometimes passes by to make sure I am where I say I am. I just walked over to your clinic; it's not that far, you know."

"You are…"

"What?" Sarah demanded, looking ready to fight. "I'm what, green man?"

Piccolo sighed and knew he'd never hear the end of it if he said something that she didn't like. So he settled for, "You're all right."

The kid beamed and looked kind of touched. "Thanks, Pic! We're pals now, right?"

"Uh…"

"Don't worry, I won't be all Cable Guy or anything. But I have to ask what you're doing for Christmas this year."

"I…don't think I'm doing anything this year." Piccolo said quietly, making his small companion grin.

"You know you can always come to our Christmas dinner, buddy! My mom is really quite used to people coming over at any given holiday. So, if your plans remain blank, think about it."

"Um…ok?"

"Great. Oh oh, stop here. This house, with the white Buick. That's my friend's house, the one where I'm 'spending the night'. Ahaha. I'll see you later, Dr. Damioh." She hopped out of the car, and Piccolo could hear her little Converse adorned feet hitting the pavement as she ran to the front door, where she was let in a few seconds later. She waved at Piccolo and went inside.

The dentist sat back for a minute before driving away. He pondered briefly over the girl and her odd behavior. He shook it off as normal teenager stuff, though.


	5. Chapter 5

The Dentist: Chapter Five.

"The scars remind us that the past is real. I tear my heart open just to feel." -Papa Roach, "Scars."

Piccolo rose the next morning with a smile on his face. He blinked and looked around, the grin quickly fading. It had only been a dream. Always just a dream. He tossed off the covers and swung his legs over the side of his bed, yawning. Luckily his first appointment wasn't until ten this morning, so he didn't really need to rush. He got up and sulked to the bathroom, taking a hot shower quickly before getting dressed. He forgot to put the coffee on, but he didn't really care. He was going to learn how to make better coffee first. He looked outside and glared at the blinding snow. He was beginning to feel the side-affects of the previous night, staring with a throbbing headache. He wished he had just gone with his brother and gotten away from this winter season. Still, it was better than the spring, when his allergies took hold of him and viciously attacked his nose and eyes.

At least around Christmas time business slowed down. People went away for the holidays, or had guests, leaving essentially no time for check-ups and fillings. He sighed and moved away from the window. He rummaged around his kitchen and found an egg in the fridge. He remembered Nail told him that swallowing a raw egg with some other spices helped hangovers. He decided to try it now, though he knew he would probably regret it. Still, he had a root canal scheduled for today, and he should be as sober as possible.

A few hours later he sat in his chair, taking some pain reliever for his migraine. The egg trick had really only succeeded in making him ill. He didn't know how Nail pulled that off during high school. He sighed and rubbed an ear, having heard somewhere that it was a pressure point or something and relieved tension.

It didn't.

He sighed and rested his head on his desk. The last time he had felt this hung-over was after Nail's third bachelor party. He grimaced as he forced himself to sit up, remembering that he had another appointment in a few minutes. He poured himself a cup of coffee and stared out his window. Cars were rushing past at an alarming speed, once again. People had places to go, and didn't overly concern themselves with the troubles of others. Which was why he thought Sarah was so odd. What did she care if he was miserable? Given, he also wouldn't want a depressed dentist working on his teeth. Still, he wouldn't go to the extreme of trying to help the problem. He bit his lip, trying hard not to smile.

The kid wasn't your average girl. Her humor was dry and far more mature than her sixteen years permitted, although her stature didn't reflect it. In so many ways, he wished that he could just deal with things like she said she wished _she_ could. She had told him she worried and paced about things, and made herself sick that way. But she said she should really just see that there really is no point in all that, and just be happy that she has her health and friends.

"_God made our relatives. Thank God we can choose our friends."_

How true the statement was. Piccolo's sire wasn't what most people would call 'father of the year.' He thought wryly of what it would be like to have a mother, but recalled Sarah's brief of moms.

_Mostly, they just tell you to stop playing video games and watching TV and get some homework done. That and eat more greens. Still, they are nice to have around when your friends are acting like dumb asses. You turned out ok without one though, so don't sweat it._

Piccolo often felt so helpless that he became over-whelmed and depressed that he couldn't take it. But the girl told him how she often had those feelings, when she dwelled upon her own unhappiness. She concluded that Father Bill had told her she thought too much because of that.

_"If we're too busy looking back and being sad about what was or could've been, we won't see the little puppy crossing the road until he's splattered across our windshield. Then where will you be, eh? Unhappy about the past AND the little dog sprayed all over your windows, waiting to be scraped off. We need sorrow to feel joy. It's just another bump in the road that PEOPLE GET PAST. Everything ends, Pic. Good… And bad."_

The door opened, startling Piccolo out his of semi-trance. He turned towards Goku, who was pointing at his watch and grinning. Piccolo nodded and put his mug on the desk and walked out with him.

_And bad._

_-_

Piccolo sighed in relief as he snapped off his gloves, tossing them into a waste basket. The molar extraction had been a success, thankfully. It hadn't taken quite as long as he had suspected, so since that was his last appointment for the day, he decided to leave. He instructed Goku to clean up as he left the office, escaping from his overly-cheery secretary. He walked around the building until his black Lincoln came into view.

Finally.

He was about to unlock it when he felt a small body collide into his. He turned around to see Sarah grinning widely, holding up a yellow belt. She hopped up and down a couple of times before speaking.

"I got the double promotion in karate! I went from a white straight to the yellow!" She cheered. "I had to come by and tell you, man. I figured you could use hearing something exciting for a change."

"Thanks." Piccolo said dryly, although a smile threatened to tug on his lips. "That is good news. Don't beat me up, now."

"Psh, like I could. Youplayed some football back in your day. Guess what else? I got to ride on a dirt bike last night, and I crashed and almost killed myself!"

"…"

"Don't worry, I escaped with only a few bruises. See?" She lifted her blue long sleeved-shirt slightly to show him the discoloration on her stomach. "The handle bars went into my stomach, and the bike landed on my leg."

"Sounds painful."

"Knocked the breath out of me, that's for sure. Plus, my neck is really stiff… I hope I didn't get whip-lash."

"I'm sure it's just a crick." Piccolo said, shrugging.

"Well, I can't pop it and it's driving me crazy!" She whined, rubbing the back of her pale neck. Piccolo sighed and put his hands on either side of her face. He jerked her face each way, sending a two loud cracks in the air. The girl blinked and smiled, feeling her neck.

"Wow! I feel a lot better! Thanks, Pic." She cheered happily.

"No problem. Look, I'd love to stay and talk, but I was just on my way home." Piccolo apologized, pointing to his car. "I'll see you later, though, right?"

"Oh, ok. Yeah sure, later." She said, waving as she walked away as quickly as she had shown up. Piccolo growled to himself for doing the next thing, but he couldn't help it.

"Kid, wait." He called, jogging over to her. "I've been really bored lately. Do you…Suggest anything?"

"Well, there is a couple of things. Have you tried joining a gym?"

"That's where my-… Um, I'd rather not."

She lifted an eyebrow but said nothing. "Ok, what about cooking?"

"I suck."

"…What about video games?"

"You've got to be kidding me. I'm an adult, not some school kid."

"Surf the internet, eh?"

"Computers are the only things that can allow you to make mistakes quicker than hand guns and tequila."

"You are so damn PICKY! Geez, I don't have time for this, I'm going to be late to Confession." She said, checking her watch. "Crap, I really needed to talk with Father Bill, too."

Piccolo sighed and looked at his car. He had nothing better to do at the present time.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride." He muttered, unlocking the doors. Sarah tilted her head to the side as she watched him.

"You sure?" She asked cautiously, lifting an eyebrow again.

"Might as well." Piccolo shrugged, getting in the large car. Sarah shrugged as well and got in the passenger's seat.

"Ok, it's about5 minutes away from here." She said, and proceeded in giving her dentist directions to the church.

"Why don't you come in with me?"

"Churches make me nervous."

"Well that sounds like a problem of conscious." She remarked, rolling her eyes. "What are you going to do later?"

Piccolo's hand moved to the space directly to his right, as if he were going to shift gears. He brought his hand back to the steering wheel and put the car in reverse. "I'm not sure… Doesn't really matter, does it?"

"Maybe… Did you use to drive a stick?"

"Yeah, this is my first car without one." He smiled, shaking his head. "It's pretty new, so I'm still getting used to automatic. It's weird…" He said, pulling up to the street and checking both ways before getting in a turning lane.

"I'm not coordinated enough to drive one. My old man tried to show me how, but unfortunately in the middle of Main. I nearly killed us."

"Yeah, I was a pretty crappy driver at first, but you get used to it."

"Crappy driving?"

"Shut up."

"Touchy. By the way, when are you going to talk about her."

"Who?" Piccolo asked, trying to act nonchalant. The girl rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Her. You know, the queen bitch."

"How about never?"

"Yeah, that's going to help. At least tell me what she looked like."

"No." Piccolo mumbled, feeling a strong headache coming on. "I don't want to talk about her. I'm trying to forget, thank you."

"That's not going to make it go away, Pic."

"Please don't call me that." Piccolo almost whispered, tightening his grip on the wheel.

"Ok, just tell me one thing. Was she pretty?" Sarah pleaded, making her eyes large and imploring.

Piccolo sighed and snickered, feeling extreme loathing throughout his veins, hate pumping in his blood. "Very."

Sarah smiled and looked out her window, pointing to her left. "Turn here, Pic."

"Please don't call me that."

"You've said that. Why?" The girl asked, raising a brow.

"Just don't!" Piccolo said heatedly, than winced as if his chest hurt but continued to stare straight ahead. "We're here, right?"

The kid merely shrugged and looked out the window, figuring he'd say something later about it. However, she found that pushing someone too hard and fast held consequences. Thus, she left it at that.

"Thanks again for the lift Pic…olo. Uh, I'll see you later."

"Yeah, see you." Piccolo muttered, more to his window than the girl. Sarah sighed and went up the church's steps, leaving the dentist alone in his car.

_Dammit, why did I do that? It's not her fault. She doesn't know, couldn't know…_

Piccolo growled and turned sharply out of the church's parking lot. She still shouldn't pry so much.


	6. Chapter 6

The Dentist: Chapter six.

"It's the ears, right? Chicks dig the pointy ears." -Bruce Wayne from Batman Forever.

Piccolo drummed his fingers on his steering wheel as he traveled home. He sighed miserably, wishing he hadn't acted like such an ass.

_It wasn't her fault._

He braked steadily as he approached a red light, watching the small Toyota in front of him do the same. He felt frustrated for being so mopey. He was acting like a woman on PMS. He let off the brake as the light turned green, shaking his head. He thought back to a time when he had been happy, and tried to remember what it felt like.

"_Piccolo, would you come in here for a moment, please?" The voice called out from the kitchen, sounding sweet and untainted._

"_Sure." Came the quick reply as the green man stood up from the couch his was sitting on, reading the newspaper. He tossed down the business section and went into the kitchen, smiling. His wife stood there, struggling with a jar of mayonnaise as she attempted to open it, her ebony hair making a waterfall over her face._

"_Here," She said, holding it out to him. "I can't get it." She smiled as he took it and twisted it open with ease. "Good thing I loosened it up for you."_

"_Yeah, thanks." Piccolo smirked, leaning over to kiss her. She met him half way and broke off soon afterwards, giving him a hug._

"_Pic, do you think I should join a gym?" She asked, looking up at him. He scoffed, shrugging._

"_What for? You're almost too thin now."_

"_Stop it," She giggled, playfully hitting his arm. "Because I feel weak. You won't always be a few feet away when I need a jar opened, you know. Maybe I should just try it for a little while, see if I can build up my strength. Please, Piccy?"_

_Piccolo sighed with a smile and brought her closer to him. "Whatever makes you happy." Piccolo said, stroking the back of her head gently. _

A horn blared loudly as he sped through a red light. He groaned and slapped his forehead, cursing.

"Damn, I need to pay attention." He muttered, checking his rear-view mirror to make sure there weren't any cops on him yet. He breathed a sigh of relief and focused on the road. That was the past, and as far as he felt, it didn't matter anymore.

He just needed to get away.

After driving around aimlessly for a while, Piccolo pulled up to his driveway and completely stopped the car. He took the keys out of the ignition and stepped out of the Lincoln and onto his drive. He trudged up the steps of his porch as he selected his house key from the ring set, inserting it into the lock. The alarm didn't go off, he noted with extreme annoyance. He received a strong slap on the back and instantly groaned. Only one person greeted him like that.

"Hey, Nail."

"That's it?"

"What's 'it'?" Piccolo asked wearily, tossing his coat onto the coat rack and keys on the table leading inside.

"Your only sibling stops by and all you say is hey?" Nail lamented, scratching his head.

"Yeah." Piccolo responded, shrugging. "Look, I don't really feel like talking-"

"Yeah, the kid told me."

"Yeah, she- wait, WHAT?" Piccolo stammered, dumb-struck. "How the hell did she get a hold of you? I don't even know how."

"She called here, looking for you. She said she was sorry for calling you Pic, and I dunno, we just talked for a little while."

"What else did she say?" Piccolo asked timidly.

"That you were an asshole." Nail laughed at Piccolo's surprised and slightly hurt expression, shaking his head. "I'm just kidding. She asked me why you didn't like being called Pic."

"Did you tell her?"

"Well, yeah." Nail said, as if Piccolo were a small child and had asked a very silly question.

"YOU IDIOT! Dammit, my life is a freakin' soap opera that is constantly televised, isn't it!"

"Quit being such a drama queen. Damn, no wonder your eighty year-old neighbor is getting more ass than you. You act so bitchy about the dumbest things." Nail remarked, walking into the den.

"Okay, one: You are so nasty. Two, it's not dumb to me!"

"I'm sure Jessica Simpson isn't to Nick Lache either, but does that change the facts?" Nail responded, brow raised.

"You amaze me with your stupidity." Piccolo snarled, stalking into the kitchen, Nail in tow.

"Piccolo, I'm just concerned."

"Since WHEN?" Piccolo practically screamed, a vein jumping from his temple. "What about when I learned that my kid was gone? When I found out my wife was a slut? When I had a panic attack and had to go to the hospital! What about those times, you bastard!"

Nail sighed and covered his eyes with one hand, clearly trying to be patient.

Piccolo saw that he wasn't going to retort, and started again. He felt he had a house on his chest, and opted to get rid of it. "I'm not sure if you know or care, but nine out of ten dentists are supposed to kill themselves! I HATE my work. I HATE kids, and how they always chew the hell out of my fingers. I HATE Lila, and how she's so happy. I hate how she gets all our friends, because she knew most of them first. I hate the looks of sympathy I get from them, like they know how much my life sucks. I just hate…" He sighed, as if out of breath and continued. "Everything right now."

Nail patted his brother's back and rubbed his bald head. "Piccolo, have you tried making it better?"

"How?" Piccolo muttered, embarrassed of the position he was in. He felt like a child. Only he hadn't really ever been comforted as a child. His father just checked his vitals and sent him on his way.

"Doing something YOU want. What did you like to do in college again? You were into bikes, right? Get a Harley, man! Do something spontaneous for once. Your neighbors probably set their watches by you."

"I hate them too." Piccolo said quietly, sitting down in the couch. Nail joined him, a smile reaching his lips.

"Good, so do I. Remember Old Man Sikes? Growing up, he would always bitch at us for everything. A ball landing in his yard, friends coming over at night, New Years… Especially when Pop was teaching you how to drive, and you ran over his cat's tail."

"Damn cat shouldn't have been laying there." Piccolo smiled weakly, reminiscing. "I'm allergic to cats now. If one comes within a hundred feet, my eyes and nose run like a faucet." Piccolo got up and went into the kitchen, going to the fridge. "Want anything?"

"You don't have anything but beer and weird stuff. Learn how to cook, stupid."

"You don't know how, either."

"Do so!"

"Whatever!" Piccolo yelled, coming in. "You nearly killed me when you tried making that cake, remember?"

"I read tablespoon wrong, sue me." Nail grumbled. "Besides, Rosita showed me how to make enchiladas and fajitas and stuff."

"Oh yeah, how's it going with her?" Piccolo asked, walking back into the kitchen.

"I think I'm going to kill myself. That, or she's got to go."

"How come?" Piccolo inquired as he squinted around his cabinets, looking for something edible.

"She's just always asking me where I am, when I'm getting back, yadda yadda." Nail replied, turning on the TV and flipping channels. "That, and whenever she's pissed it's "Ai, Nail¡Estúpido Joto llegaste tarde!" Nail rolled his eyes and looked over his shoulder at Piccolo. "Just your basic shit."

"Sounds like it." Piccolo scoffed as he washed off a potato. He could at least bake one of these bad boys.

"Hey, how long do you cook potatos for?" He called, raising the object in question at Nail.

"Uh, nuke 'em for two mintues first, generally. Four minutes on each side after, I think… Run, pussy! What the hell do they PAY these sissies for!" He yelled as he watched the football game on TV. Piccolo rolled his eyes and went back into the kitchen. He put the potato in the microwave and set it for ten minutes. He heard the door bell and jogged to the front, since Nail had no intention of getting up. He opened the door and saw his former wife standing there with a well built man, holding a basket of what he suspected were bombs.

"Yes?" He said, his tone as frosty as the weather outside. The snow was coming in hatefully stinging sleets, and looked to be soaking Lila's coat.

"Look, my mom's been worried about you, and made me bring this-" She shoved the basket at him, rolling her eyes. "It's that bread you like. She says Merry Christmas. She still loves you, and wants to get a call soon."

"I'm sorry, still _loves_ me? That's weird, I thought she'd stop long before you did." Piccolo cast a glare of pure loathing at the pair.

"Piccolo, it's too cold to fight right now." Lila said in exasperation. "Let us in for a minute."

Nail appeared by Piccolo, smiling in a sinister way. His black eyes were narrowed to slits as he watched his former sister-in-law. "Well, if it isn't loose Lila."

"Nail, I heard you almost came close to getting mature!" She said snidely back.

"What's wrong, Lila? Did slut rehab kick you out because you fucked all the therapists?"

The thin woman stepped forward and just stood there glaring at him for a moment. She slapped him harshly a moment later, her blue eyes glinting with rage. A red hand print began to form on Nail's cheek, who actually looked surprised… For about a second.

"You haven't introduced me to this guy, Lila. It's Bill, right?" Nail remarked snidely, a wicked smile still lingering on his lips.

"Phil." The man said curtly, his jade green eyes narrowed.

"Why don't you come have some wine, it's poisoned." Piccolo gestured in, looking eager. He allowed them to go into the den, Nail watching cynically. Piccolo went into the kitchen and called to his once wife. "We're all out, but I could whip up some nuclear waste, Windex, or here…" He walked in, holding a knife to his wrist. "Fresh or aged?"

"Enough!" The woman screamed, marching up to Piccolo. "You act like I killed your best friend, God! You knew it was over, and did NOTHING to help it!"

Piccolo felt his blood boil to a dangerous point. "You BITCH! What the hell did that gold band around your finger mean? That I liked you a little?"

"I wish you would just go-" Lila was cut off by the doorbell, which echoed incessantly through out the house.

_Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding Dong_

"What now?" Piccolo growled as he reached the door. He yanked it open to find Sarah standing there, shivering in her high top shoes.

"Piccolo, I know I keep bothering you, but I can't stand it when my friends are mad at me, and I just wanted you to know that I'll keep out of your business from now on. I know you think I'm just some stupid kid, but I don't care. You're a good guy, and you've just had some crappy things happen to you. I guess you just kind of reminded me of…well, me. But not anymore, I promise."

"You're freezing." Piccolo frowned, stepping aside. "Get in before you get hypothermia."

"Thanks." She breathed, stepping in. "It's got to be five below out there!"

"How'd you get here?" Piccolo asked as he closed the door.

"I uh, borrowed a car." She cleared her throat, smiling. "I'm not really supposed to be driving, so don't say anything."

Lila and Nail's heated voices carried to them, igniting a spark in the girl's eyes.

"No way… Is that who I think it is?" She whispered to Piccolo, who nodded solemnly. "Finally." She said, rubbing her hands together. Piccolo stopped her, shaking his head.

"It's ok, I know she's a bitch. You don't want to start with her… She'll never stop." He grimaced, walked in the living room with her. Lila turned away from Nail, her gaze falling on the kid.

"Dang! Guy's built like a freakin' Chinese gymnist." Sarah mused as she looked at Phil.

"I think you have the wrong house, darling." Lila said in a mock-sweet voice.

"Actually, I am Piccolo's friend. I belong here a lot more than you do." The girl shot back, her blue-ish grey eyes flashing.

"I guess you haven't discovered what a total prick he is then." Lila retorted, smiling wickedly.

"I know he can be edgy sometimes. But you aren't what I thought you'd be either. I thought you'd be skinnier. I mean, crack whores usually are, right?" The teen said brazenly, stepping forward. The pair locked eyes as they mentally killed the other.

"A little young isn't she, Pic?" Lila said, her eyes flashing wickedly. The acid practically oozed from her words. "I never had you figured for a ped." Her eyes were narrowed now, and her smile was like poisoned honey.

"You sick-" Piccolo began, but was cut off suddenly.

"What the HELL? I KNOW you didn't just say that!" Sarah growled, taking off her coat. "Not everyone possesses the strange needs you do, sicko."

"Why don't you go home and play with your toys?" Lila scoffed, folding her arms. "You don't belong in here, ceratinly."

"Don't MAKE me put my size eight up your narrow ass!" She said heatedly, baring her teeth. "Looks like there's a pole up there already, so it'd be a tight fit."

"I don't have time for this." Lila snarled, pulling her coat closer to herself. "Piccolo, good job finding a friend. Too bad she's obviously disturbed."

The girl laughed, shrugging. "'Least I'm not a walking STD."

"HA! She's got you on that one, sis." Nail howled, clutching his sides again. His laughter was cut short by a fist to his face, sending him straight to the floor. Lila stood glowering at him, her arm still extended. Nail got up, holding his right eye.

"OW! Geez, woman, you could have killed me!" Nail muttered, a smile threatening to break out again.

"We should all be so fortunate." Lila growled as she walked to Piccolo. "Rot in hell, you bastard." She hissed, turning on her heel.

"He's already been there and back, and he STILL doesn't like your cookies." Sarah chuckled, shrugging a shoulder.

Lila glared daggers at the girl before leaving with Phil, who merely gaped during the entire episode. She slammed the door behind her followed by tires squealing a few moments later. Evil cackling from Nail and Sarah immediately erupted.

"Damn, I've never seen her so pissed!" Nail howled, walking to the kitchen and coming back with an ice-pack. He placed it over the abused eye before continuing. "This kid's all right, Piccy!" He stuck his hand to the girl, who excepted it with a grin. "She can join the Kill The Whore club." They shook hands as Nail laughed some more.

"Whew, you sure you guys are related?" Sarah asked, eyes wide. "Piccolo, this guy is what I think of you high."

"Thanks." He said in his usual dry tone. A smile lingered in his voice, though, and friend and brother knew he was happy. At least a little.

Pissing off his ex-wife tended to make him that way.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Dentist**: Chapter Seven.

"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."

Hey guys, thanks again for the awesome reviews! I'll be giving my recognition at the end of the chapter. Oh, and I don't own Dbz. Or Tylenol. Too bad, I'd be filthy stinkin' rich.

-

Piccolo glared at Nail, and looked back at his microwave. It was still smoking. During the little episode with Lila, everyone had forgotten about the potato Piccolo had left in the microwave.

"You imbecile! You said ten minutes!" Piccolo yelled, making Nail wince.

"You were supposed to turn the damn thing over, smart guy! It's not my fault it blew up." Nail grumbled as he chewed on his fingernails and looked at Sarah, who was trying not to laugh.

"It's shot to hell and back, Piccolo. You might need a new one." She remarked, setting her hands on her hips. "You really killed the crap out of it by nuking that potato. Haven't you cooked before?"

"Not really," Piccolo admitted, feeling an attack come on. He quickly pulled out his inhaler and took a deep breath. He put it back in his coat pocket and sighed. "I guess I'll get one tomorrow."

"You weren't kidding, Piccolo. That woman is horrible." Sarah said offhandedly, looking at her fingernails. She obviously had been wanting to bring the subject up for some time. "I could sense the evil coming from her, practically. I bet she was one of those party girls who has tattoos in discrete places."

"Lower back and shoulder." Piccolo said shrugging. "It's just going to look too young for her in a few years."

"Those tattoos are hot." Nail said, but quickly shook his head, as if trying to get rid of a mental image. "But on SNL, they showed this commercial thingy of what happened to them in aging years."

"Oh I saw that! That was so nasty." Sarah chimed in, obviously trying to assist Nail. "So don't worry Piccolo. At least you won't have to look at a gradually sagging tattoo anymore!"

Piccolo knew they were trying to help, so he didn't voice his opinion on what complete idiots they were sometimes. Instead, he muttered a quiet, "Thanks."

Sarah and Nail beamed at each other. They evidently thought they were making Piccolo feel better. Nail looked serious for a moment at Piccolo, all joking put aside.

"But this is ridiculous, Piccolo. You have to admit that Lila isn't the only woman in the world. It's been five months, for God's sake. Time to move on. If you don't, people might begin to wonder."

"About what?" Piccolo asked defensively, scowling at his twin.

"Well, Piccolo, there's no easy way of saying this, but I think you might be gay."

"I AM NOT GAY!" Piccolo thundered, making Nail wince and cover his ears.

"Then why haven't you even been LOOKING for anyone else, eh? You walk by a hot woman everyday and haven't even asked her out."

"Who?" Piccolo asked, bewildered.

"Your secretary, stupid!" Nail yelled, waving his arms.

"She's married with a kid, genius!"

"Actually divorced. And I know she has a kid, have you seen her-" Nail was cut-off by Piccolo's glare and harsh words.

"How would you know that?" He asked icily, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I asked her, duh." Nail replied, rolling his eyes. "Kid, you know the scenario. Would Piccolo appear gay to the public?" Nail consulted the girl imploringly.

Sarah thought about this briefly, casting nervous glances at Piccolo, who was boring a hole through her eyes with his stare. "Well, I uh… Couldn't say, really. Heh heh…" She laughed apprehensively, looking at the ground. "But it's kinda sad… You're like Monk, only you hate your wife and she isn't dead."

"Unfortunately." Piccolo muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I'm just not eager to go through the same things I did with Lila, that's all. I mean, what if the next one is worse?"

"That's impossible. There's only one she-devil on this plane, Piccy, and you two are divorced." Nail grinned, slapping the back of his brother's head playfully. "Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"

"That's what you said when I asked you if you thought I should ask Lila to marry me." Piccolo pointed out in exhaustion, running a hand over his smooth head.

"Well, I was wrong." Nail said, rubbing the lobe of one of his long ears, a gesture Piccolo knew meant he was frustrated… Or lying. Nervous habits die hard.

"Wouldn't be the first time." Piccolo muttered, rolling his eyes.

"When? I'm usually right about these things." Nail said defensively, scowling.

"Usually!" Piccolo exclaimed, throwing up his hands. "Have you completely blocked out the last couple of decades?"

Nail blinked, looking hurt. "Geez, you sure know how to say it like it is, bro."

Piccolo huffed and turned away. Nail shrugged at the kid, who was writing something down. She looked back at him and shrugged too.

"He's the only guy I know who goes through a period." Nail whispered, only to be hit across the back of his head by Piccolo.

"Shut up, will you?" Piccolo growled menacingly.

"Piccolo, have you ever tried forgiveness?" Sarah suddenly spoke up, as if struck by an idea. "I mean, sometimes when I feel bad I try just being as good as I can. Then I feel more at peace. You know, wishing good things towards others- oh CRAP." She said quickly, slapping a hand over her eyes. "I just remembered I have to go to a rehearsal dinner tonight, dangit!"

"What for?" Nail asked curiously as the kid put on her coat.

"My brother's getting married tomorrow night."

"How can you FORGET that?" Piccolo asked in confusion.

"Well, it was kinda sudden." She said quietly, running a hand over her hair. "Things happen, you know? Anyway, my brother is a moron. I don't see how a nice girl like Lindsey got mixed up with him." She walked up to Piccolo, grinning. "But these things happen, eh pal? Wedding was moved up two weeks ago."

"We all know why weddings are moved up." Nail grinned, scratching his head.

"Nail, shut UP." Piccolo growled, elbowing his brother. "That's really rude."

"He's right, unfortunately. Ugh." The girl put a hand to her eyes and sighed. "Tom has always been a little uncontrollable. Oh well, nothing we can do about it now, except hope for the best. I'll be seeing you guys, ok?"

"Have fun." Piccolo said sarcastically, receiving a scoff from his diminutive friend.

"Not likely. I always manage to screw these things up… But my mom said she'd maul me if I did it again, so I have to watch myself. Bye!" She hurried out the door, leaving Nail and Piccolo alone in the den.

"She's interesting enough. Seems like you actually found yourself a friend." Nail observed, making his brother snort.

"Yeah, she makes me feel old." Piccolo mused, rubbing his chin.

"Really? I would've thought you'd feel like a kid again." Nail said in surprise. "I mean, it's not like you're hanging around with decrepit old fogies, right?"

Piccolo merely looked at his brother in annoyance. "Thank God Dad isn't still alive."

The weekend had gone by in a rather boring fashion. The neighbors pressured him into decorating his house, since it was the only one not shining with lights. Not wanting to start an angry mob, Piccolo complied, though he nearly broke his neck stringing up the blinky lights to his garage. For the first time in a long time (he couldn't even remember when) he was actually relieved to get back to work. When he arrived at the office Monday, the kid was already there and waiting.

"You're here early…" He ventured, raising a brow. Sarah sighed and pointed inside her mouth.

"I know I have a cavity, but I have another toothache, and it's throbbing!" She whined.

"Come on, let's get started." Piccolo said, waving a hello to his receptionist. He really looked at her today, per Nail's instructions. She was actually very pretty. She had a sweet, heart shaped face that smiled every time he saw her. She had thick, long hair that Piccolo never really appreciated before. It was a beautiful shade of blonde, one that actually looked natural. And of course, her figure was rather... Well, nicely proportioned. Piccolo shook his head and kept walking though, remembering how her care-free disposition tended to give him severe headaches.

"Oh yeah, how was the wedding?" Piccolo asked, looking down at the kid. She smirked up at him, doing the thumbs-up.

"It was an Irish wedding, all the way. I don't care about those stuffy people on Lindey's side. The room was half full with drunk Catholics, and that's what counts." She said, a hint of pride in her voice.

"Did _you_ drink?" Piccolo asked, a brow raised in suspicion. The girl scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"A bit like a fish. My oldest brother Dan is cool and snuck me some beer throughout the night." She said thoughtfully as they came into the dental room, which hosted an unfriendly looking chair. "Say Piccadilly? Is this going to hurt, 'cause I have a low-threshold for pain."

"It shouldn't." Piccolo said in a purposefully undecisive voice. "But you never know."

"Shut up! You meanie, getting a poor little person like me all scared. You need to get your jollies another way." She huffed as she crept nearer the chair of doom. Piccolo chuckled and pulled on some gloves.

"I'm just yanking your chain. It's not going to hurt at all."

The girl looked at him in shock and smiled. "Piccolo… You made a joke!"

Piccolo looked thoughtful for a moment before grinning slightly. "Yeah, yeah I did, huh?"

"I'm so proud of you! See? Hanging out with me has improved your disposition. I knew it all along." She said smugly, getting comfortable in the large chair. Piccolo shook his head and snorted as he opened her mouth with two latex fingers. He peered inside her mouth, looking for the source of her pain. He found it a moment later, in the form of an incoming tooth. It had begun to poke out of her gums, which explained the throbbing. She must be getting her wisdom teeth, it appeared.

"Nothing to worry about. Just make sure you take a little Tylenol or something for it, and the pain should go away on _that_ end. However, it's time we take care of that cavity."

"Aw crap." The kid groused, closing her eyes tight. "I never had any before, so be patient with me!"

Piccolo nodded and turned towards the door. "Goku! Get in here, we have a filling to do." He barked, sending his assistant running in.

"Boss, you feeling ok?" Goku asked, looking slightly concerned.

"Famous, why?" Piccolo asked in irritation, ready to get to work.

"You… didn't turn on the coffee." He said in a low, sheepish tone. "You never work without your coffee."

"I feel better, actually, than when I drink that junk. I'm giving up coffee for Lent."

"Boss, it's Christmas time."

"Whatever. Are you going to lecture me or get my drill?"

Thirty minutes later, Piccolo sighed and snapped off his gloves. He smiled grimly and patted Sarah's head.

"How you feeling?" He asked, receiving a glare. Well, partial glare. The left side of her face was still numb.

"Cwappy."

"Well, you chewed through your cheek and bit my drill. What do you think you should feel like?"

She considered this before shrugging. "Ah could-nt feel anysing." She muttered, rubbing her cheek. "Du wend a widdle twiggah happy wid dat noduhcane." She sat up and tried moving her mouth, with no success. "Tanks a wot, Picawo."

Piccolo tried hard not to laugh, but her speech was too humorous. He chuckled at her annoyed expression, and the way she looked at him through one semi-closed eye.

"Ith noth funay." She snapped as she got off the chair. She wobbled a bit before sitting down again.

Piccolo frowned and felt her head. "Take it easy. You had a lot of happy gas, and you'll probably feel a little disoriented. Don't stand up so fast, you'll get a head rush and fall over."

"Mmm-tay." She said getting ready to stand up again. Piccolo looked at his watch and shrugged.

"I have some time before my next appointment, kid. You wanna hang out here while that stuff wears off? You won't be able to talk coherently for a little bit." Piccolo ventured, getting a nod from the incapacitated patient. "Good," He nodded, going over to the sink and washing his hands. "So, how's school going?" He asked this mostly to annoy her, since he knew she didn't like school, and didn't like to talk about it without Novacaine in her mouth, much less with it. However, she rolled her eyes and humored him.

"Thucks. But ath leasth Ah am gethin' outh thoon." She muttered, looking at her face in a mirror. "Wha Nail say ater Ah yeft yas night?"

"Nothing much, he was just being retarded as usual. He says he's staying with me until I find a girlfriend." Piccolo sighed, drying his hands on a paper towel.

"Tho thum time den, huh?" She asked, half-smiling. Piccolo glared at her and sneered.

"Very funny. It's a serious problem, though! I can't stand his attitude for very long, but he won't budge without female proof." Piccolo lamented, putting a hand to his eyes.

"Den ya betta git thum-one fath, eh Picawo?" Sarah remarked, smirking.

"Shut up."


	8. Chapter 8

**The Dentist: Chapter Eight.**

"What about her?" Nail asked, pointing at a woman jogging along the path with a large Labrador. Piccolo shook his head and frowned. The woman was at least the twelfth one that Piccolo had easily rejected, though all the candidates had been young and good looking. Nail often voiced how picky he was, but Piccolo merely ignored him.

"I hate dogs." He took off his glasses and cleaned them, wondering how he had allowed himself to be drug into this. He rubbed his hands together after he put his lenses back on, shivering from the frigid air. "Look, this is ridiculous. Can't I just go home?" Piccolo complained, but got a firm punch in the arm from his brother.

"No. You need to prove that you still have the nerve to talk to a woman. Right kid?" Nail turned to Sarah, obviously looking for back-up.

"Right. A retired samurai can lose his skills if they are not practiced regularly." She stated philosophically, taking a bite of her ice cream. She smiled and watched her dangling feet above the concrete, the rest her small form on the park bench. Piccolo scowled at her and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"What do you know? You're eating freakin' ice cream when there's snow on the ground." He groused. Nail rolled his eyes and looked at the girl hopelessly.

"He gets so touchy when he's on his period."

"Shut UP!" Piccolo growled, slapping his brother's bare head. "Quit saying that!"

"Quit acting like it! Geez, this is high school all over again." Nail muttered, covering his eyes. Sarah raised an eyebrow quizzically at the pair.

"What do you mean?" She ventured, poking Nail in the side. He snorted and looked at her, with what Piccolo liked to call his 'story telling' face.

"Well, this one time back when Pic and I were about, what, seventeen or so? Anyway…"

_A large, green skinned man in a suit walked in the room, a look of worry on his face._

"_You boys sure you'll be all right while I'm away?" He checked his watch and headed towards the door._

"_Sure, Pop. Everything will be fine. Damn." A younger Nail grinned and held up his father's luggage. "Piccolo and I will probably just go to the game tonight and sleep in tomorrow. Nothing big." He said smoothly as his father accepted his suitcase._

"_I want the house in one piece when I get home, Nail." Piccolo Senior said darkly, giving his son a look that could melt steel. "I'm not here to talk to Sikes…"_

"_Pop, you worry too much about nothing." Nail said in exasperation._

"_No, I worry from experience." His sire glowered, opening the door. "Tell your brother to call me later."_

"_Fine." Nail said, rolling his eyes as his father randomly pulled opened his son's mouth and stared down his throat, checking for signs on inflammation. _

"_I just remembered that there's something going around. If you get it-"_

"_I know, Piccolo is sure to follow." Nail rehearsed, closing his mouth with a snap, nearly catching his father's fingers in the process. "Pop, we're not damn five year-olds…"_

"_Really now?" Piccolo Senior scoffed, walking to his car. "Prove it. When I get back Sunday, have the house in this condition. I mean it, Nail. I don't want calls from the damn police at three o'clock in the morning asking me to come bail you out."_

_Nail rubbed his ear and smiled. "Now I see where Piccolo gets the drama act. Don't worry, everything will be fine."_

_Nail watched as his father stared at him with doubt, finally getting in his car afterwards. He smiled largely as his sire rolled down his window and glared at him._

"_ONE piece, boy."_

_Nail ran upstairs as soon as Piccolo Senior had pulled out of the drive way. He practically flew into his brother's room, grinning largely, once again. Piccolo gave him a wary look that seemed to say 'keep me out of it.'_

"_Piccy, can I borrow your car?" Nail asked sweetly, hugging his brother tightly around the waist. "It's an emergency."_

_Piccolo snorted and pushed his sibling away. "No. We both know why the old man took your keys in the first place."_

_Nail smiled innocently. "Accidents happen. Besides, you can't refuse your baby brother when he's in need," he said in a whiny voice, making Piccolo wince._

"_You're a few seconds younger than me, moron." He put down the magazine he was reading and glared at his twin. "How long will you be?" He asked in an annoyed, defeated tone. Nail waved his arms around happily._

"_Under half an hour, promise." Piccolo glared at him suspiciously before reaching in his pocket and pulling out a set of keys. _

"_If anything…ANYTHING happens to that car, I'll personally kill you. Actually, I'll just wait for Pop to get home."_

"_You always act like such a PMS-ing female." Nail remarked as he quickly took the keys and leapt to the door, followed by Piccolo's shoe._

"_Don't wreck it, dumb ass!" He shouted, wondering how he let his brother con him into doing whatever he wanted._

_Nail's head popped in a moment later, smiling wickedly. "Thanks, Piccy. You'll always be my favorite bitch." He ducked as a book was chucked at him and waved good-bye. Piccolo sighed and collapsed on his bed._

"_I hate him." _

"So Piccolo just let you take the car?" Sarah asked, eyes wide.

"Yup. See what I mean? He's not assertive at all, and just whines about his predicament. It's always been like that." Nail shrugged and leaned against the back of the bench. "It's time to stop that crap right here and now. This shit is getting ridiculous."

"Yeah!" The kid agreed, throwing a fist in the air. "You'll thank us one of these days, Picster."

"Whatever." Piccolo muttered as Nail and Sarah talked avidly of Piccolo's social problems.

"He depresses people, for one thing. I think that's a major problem. All he wears is black! Although I know he shouldn't wear red… It looks bad on him." Nail said, looking at his own crimson tie. Piccolo stared at his brother, dumb-struck.

"What the hell? We're TWINS, stupid. It looks the same on both of us!" He said loudly, receiving several stares from die-hard joggers. Piccolo never could understand how people could exercise in such weather. Nail insisted that this was the place to find athletic women who could put up with him, though.

Piccolo spoke in a lower tone, glowering at his double. "Besides, black is just a general color. It goes with everything, so I never mismatch."

"I knew it, you are SO gay." Nail taunted, getting an elbow from Sarah.

"Leave him alone, Nail. Black's cool. I personally like to mismatch, though…" She gestured to her feet, which held flame-adorned Converse high tops, and pants, which were short, baggy jeans. "I get dressed in the dark, most days."

"Do you EVER wear full length pants?" Piccolo asked, looking at her bare calves. He could see the tiny goose bumps on her pale skin and shivered. "I'm getting cold just looking at you."

"Then quit staring, ya perv. Besides, you're the one who keeps your office at a comfortable 55 degrees!" She sneered, getting a chuckle from Nail. "Seriously, I get a little panicked in long pants… When I can't see my legs I feel claustrophobic."

"…" Piccolo just stared at her, his eyes semi-closed. His expression said it all.

"Shut up! You're the one who's afraid of color!" She yelled, slapped Piccolo's arm. "It's not easy always feeling anxious, you know. My friends taunt me, making things all uneven, after I PURPOSEFULLY made them in a straight line…" Her left eye began twitching convulsively. "Natalie just HAD to knock my napkins off the table, onto the dirty floor, where billions of bacteria lay, harboring plans for world domination…"

"Ahem." Nail coughed, bringing the girl back into the present.

"So anyway, colors shouldn't breed headaches. Just wear darker things." Sarah said simply, clearly amongst the living again.

Piccolo sighed and stood up. "In any case, it's getting dark. You better get home." He said sternly to the girl in his best parental voice.

"Fine, fine." She stood up and ate the last part of her ice cream cone. "But Nail is going to keep me posted." She stood still for a moment, though, looking perplexed.

"Is Nail short for something?" She finally asked, appearing baffled. "It just seems a bit odd for a name."

"Nope. My old man was going through a weird time, I guess." Nail shrugged, sticking his hands in his jacket. "Oh well. Could be worse."

"Yeah, he could've named you Pinkus." She grinned and waved at the brothers. "See you guys later!" She skipped down a path, singing a song with incoherent words. Piccolo sighed and covered his eyes with his hands.

"I wonder about her sometimes… No, all the time." He said, freeing his optics. "But I guess I'm a little touched."

"HA! Oh, sorry." Nail said, looking away. "I just thought of a joke, but it's not very nice, so never mind." Piccolo raised a brow at his twin.

"I'm not even going to ask."

Piccolo had taken off his glasses when he got home, noticing he had something on them. He walked into the kitchen and got a cloth out. He put some lens cleaner on it and walked back into the den, sitting on his recliner by a lamp. Nail walk in, talking on his cell phone. Piccolo tried to block out the conversation, but couldn't help but overhear the words spoken by his brother.

"I know, I miss you too… No…No. He's having one of those times, and… Yeah, I know it's been a couple of days…" He chuckled at an unheard comment, but sent a glare at Piccolo when he realized he was listening. "That sounds tempting, but… Ok, I will…I…" He covered his mouth a little as he said the last part, though Piccolo knew what he said, and scoffed loudly.

"You lie."

"Shut up." Nail said, throwing a pillow from the couch at his brother. "She's going to make me eat those three words later, I know it." Nail carefully looked at his brother, trying to gauge the mood he was in. "Piccolo, have you really thought of the reason it didn't work out between you and Lila? I know this isn't the best time, but you've got to think about it some time. You know?"

Piccolo shrugged and went back to his glasses. He couldn't seem to get this piece of dirt off.

"But I've been thinking, Piccolo." Nail continued, despite his brother's lack of interest. "What if, and I know you don't want to hear this, but what if that kid wasn't yours? I mean, think about it. Lila had been wanting kids, right? Doesn't make sense that she-"

Piccolo was furiously rubbing his glasses with even more-glassy eyes. Nail continued, though, feeling the need to finish his thought.

"If the kid was Phil's, it was going on long before you knew about it, right? Then what she said shouldn't get to you at all. You had nothing to do with the problem. It's completely her fault, so-"

SNAP

Piccolo threw the broken pieces of glass to the floor, his fingers oozing purple blood.

"Shit! I don't CARE, Nail! It could've been Michael Jackson's kid. I still would've…" He bit his lip and shut his eyes tightly. "I still would've raised him as my own." He stood up and went into the bathroom, wrapping up his fingers in gauze bandages. He came back into the room a moment later, his eyes red.

"You think I hadn't THOUGHT about that possibility? Of course I have, you idiot! It didn't matter to me… I was ready then, and could have lived with the knowledge…" He slammed a fist into the wall, clearly close to a break-down. His voice cracked as he continued his rant. "I bought this house because Lila insisted we would need the space. 'The children', she said, 'would need room to grow.' BULLSHIT! It's become a damn prison to me! There's way too much space here for me, and it's like living in an empty hotel. Don't TELL me it's not my fault like I'm some damn child needing to be consoled. I would be a lot better if you and that damn kid just let things go, and let me suffer alone!" Piccolo bit his lip harshly as he sank into his couch beside Nail, who patted his back quietly.

"It's ok, Piccolo. We know it's hard… That's why we want to help you. We don't feel sorry for you, man. We like you, and are just trying to lift you out of this ditch." Piccolo rubbed the back of his hand against his eyes and let his head fall into his free hand, feeling defeated. Nail continued talking in the same soft tone, not wanting to agitate his brother again. "You're not alone, no matter how much you want to be. I've only known the kid for a couple of days, but I already know that she's not going to let you die like this. She's going to spend her waking hours trying to help a friend. You fall into that category now, bro."

"I guess." Piccolo sniffled, sitting up against the back of the couch. "Thanks, I think."

"Hey, no problem. What are little brothers for?" Nail teased, rubbing his sibling's bald head. "I'll tell you one thing… They drive their older, genius brother to the eye doctor to get another pair of glasses." Piccolo looked at the floor and smirked. The shards of glass seemed to wink at him through the light, making him chuckle slightly.

"I guess that would be a good idea." He admitted, getting up to fetch a broom. He halted after a few seconds, though, and turned to Nail. "I acted like such a little bitch, didn't I?" He asked in an embarrassed tone, rubbing the back of his neck. Nail shrugged it off, smiling.

"Nah, don't worry about it." Piccolo grinned and left the room, allowing Nail to sigh and mutter under his breath. "But I wouldn't be caught dead being such a damn pussy."

-

Piccolo woke up the next morning feeling groggy. Nail had some weird sleep habits, even when they were kids. One thing he had never stopped doing was sleep walking. Piccolo woke up about two o'clock in the morning to find his brother cuddled to him in the spoon position. He had, of course, kicked him out in disgust. Nail woke up soon afterwards on the floor, cold and confused. After Piccolo had explained the odd situation, Nail went back to his room and locked the door, adding a chair to the knob for extra precaution. Piccolo hadn't been able to sleep very well after that, needless to say. But the sun was pouring into his room, and it was high time he got up. He needed to get out quickly before his appointments started and buy some new specs. Nail had joked about him drilling a kid's teeth blindly. The image had left Piccolo in stitches for a few minutes.

Piccolo got up and popped his back, starting the usual routine of his day. However, he remembered that Nail was not an early riser and tended to sleep until noon. He smiled as a picture of their adolescence popped into his mind.

"_Nail, get out of bed right NOW! The tardy bell rings in ten minutes!" Piccolo Senior rumbled through the closed door of Nail's room, pounding on it for good measure. The man was quickly loosing his patience. He opened the door and found his son sleeping with a pillow over his head, oblivious to the rants of his father. _

_The older man yanked open the shades of his son's windows, and tore off the covers of the bed. Nail shivered and felt for the blankets. Finding none, he took off the pillow, only to be blinded by the morning sunlight._

"_Damn it!" He yelled, shielding his eyes against the blare. "You could've knocked!"_

_Piccolo had been leaning against the frame of the door, smirking in amusement. "It's no good for your hangover, bro."_

_Nail stood there in his boxers shivering and glaring at his brother. "Shut up."_

Piccolo's smile threatened to spread as he reached one of the never used guest bedrooms, knocking sharply on the wood paneling. After a few seconds he came in, finding his brother buttoning his shirt.

Nail looked at Piccolo and grinned, shaking his head. "I'm way ahead of you, bro. Get a shower and some clothes on! You've got some new glasses that need picking up." Piccolo turned around and exited the room in shock, heading back to the master bathroom. Had his brother been replaced with a cybernetic clone?

-

Nail hummed as he drove Piccolo to the eye doctor to get his prescription glasses. He approached a stop sign, and seeing no one around, easily coasted through it. Piccolo could see the red shape, though, and glared at his brother.

"Stop signs aren't a suggestion." He said, frowning. "Cops like suburban areas, you know."

"Not this early they don't." Nail smirked, looking at his brother. "Quit being such a back seat driver. Just because you drive like an old lady doesn't mean everyone has to." Piccolo attempted to see the MPH of the car, but only saw fuzzy shapes.

"Slow down." He said anyway, pretending he could see the numbers. "This is a residential area!" Nail rolled his eyes but decreased his speed a little, making Piccolo smirk this time.

'He isn't completely different.' He thought smugly, leaning back in his seat.

When they arrived at the clinic, Piccolo sighed in relief. He thought they wouldn't make it there alive. Nail had cut off two trucks and one Civic, nearly causing several collisions and receiving several more fingers. Nail had laughed it off, saying the people needed to get out more.

Piccolo unbuckled his seat belt and looked at Nail, who was leaning back in his seat, eyes closed.

"Aren't you coming in?" Piccolo asked, brow raised. Nail grinned and shook his head 'no', sliding open one obsidian eye to stare at his brother.

"You kidding me? It's boring as hell in these places. Might as well get a little sleep, since I had to wake up so damn early." Piccolo shrugged and looked at his watch. It was only eight thirty.

"Ok, I'll be out soon." He opened his door, only to hear the loud scraping of metal hitting metal. He groaned and covered his eyes, knowing he had just dented the crap out of someone's car. "Shit. Nail, how bad is it?" He asked weakly, not wanting to see the damage he had caused the other vehicle so early in the morning. Nail peered over his brother's shoulder, wide awake now.

"Oh damn… Uh, let's just say your morning ain't starting out too well."

After leaving his insurance information and phone number under the windshield wiper of the car, he and Nail (who no longer wished to be in the culprit car) went inside the new building. Piccolo went to the front desk and filled out some forms, and was told to wait in the reception area. He sighed, knowing how his patients felt now. When they had sat down in plushy chairs, Nail nudged him in the ribs.

"Why are you getting tested again? Don't they already have your prescription?" Piccolo nodded but frowned.

"I need a stronger one, I think. I've been getting a lot of headaches lately, and I think this might be why." Nail shrugged and opened a magazine left on one of the small tables.

"Could be." Was all he said, though, leaving his brother to himself.

Piccolo nodded and looked ahead, taking in the appearance of the room. It was a starkly clean, well-managed room with tasteful color schemes of dark red and crème. Piccolo was surprised at the décor of the place, since it was, after all, merely a clinic. He glanced over at Nail, wondering if he had noticed the room at all. Nail turned the page of his magazine, his eyes heavy lidded with boredom. Piccolo took that as a no. He tapped his finger on the small table to his left, feeling anxious to get started. He had an appointment at ten fifteen, so he was in pretty good shape. Since he was terribly wearied, he mentally reviewed the procedures he needed to do for the canine extraction he would undergo. He couldn't concentrate, though, because of the incessant chatter of the secretary on the phone. Her gossipy tone reached his ears, making him glad his own secretary only did that while he was in his office, where he couldn't hear the entry going-ons.

His fingers tapped a little harder on the polished surface of the table, really wishing his appointment would come soon. He watched the hands of the clock tick by, mocking him with the tiny ticking sounds they made. His right eye twitched in annoyance. How everyone just LOVED to remind him his life was slowly ticking by as he watched helplessly. The receptionist grew louder as the conversation apparently grew increasingly interesting. Piccolo looked back to Nail, hoping to start conversation. Nail merely turned a page again, looking just as bored as he had when they came in. And so the cycle raged on: Secretary, clock, turning pages. Piccolo felt so frustrated that he nearly walked out of the room when a cheery voice pierced his ear drums.

"Mr. Damioh!"

He looked up to see a man adorned in bright purple beaming at him. He held a clip board in one hand, keeping the door open with the other.

"Mr. Damioh, right? The doctor will see you now." He chirped, smiling as Piccolo made his way uneasily through the door. Nail winked at Piccolo before he left, mouthing 'perfect match'.

Piccolo, now fully flustered, walking down the hall with the chipper young man. His eyes were happy behind his tortoise shell glasses, making them seem even larger and shinier than they were. He smiled encouragingly at Piccolo and pointed down the hall to an open room on the left.

"Good luck, sir!" He said in a sing-song tone, walking into another section of the hallway. Piccolo rolled his eyes and sighed in relief. That guy made him nervous.

He walked down the hall until he reached the doorway leading into the room. He stepped inside and sat down on a chair. He observed his surroundings for a moment before the door was pushed open further, bringing in the doctor.

Piccolo's jaw nearly dropped when he saw the doctor. Her hair was tied back loosely at the nape of her neck, though it was apparent it was done in a hurry. The color was a deep auburn shade, which looked untouched by highlights of artificial streaks. Her skin was an ivory tone with no visible flaws. What struck Piccolo the most, though, were her teeth. Perfect, spotless, shining teeth that were as even as a line. They were obviously flossed regularly, Piccolo noticed.

"Mr. Damioh, is it?" The woman asked, smiling. She tugged down at her light khaki skirt and straightened her white medical jacket. "Man, it's been some morning. Sorry for the little wait, things have been kind of crazy for me today." Piccolo nodded, saying nothing. She had left him speechless.

He instantly felt ridiculous and turned away from her, focusing in front of him. He looked at the eye chart, unable to decipher hardly any of the letters. The doctor shook her head as she watched him squint, her smile reaching her eyes. Now that she was closer, Piccolo got abetter look at her face. A faint spray of freckles showered her small nose, andher eyes were a deep verdant hue, with faint flecks of yellow thrown in, as if by last minute decision. They looked soft, somehow, and kind. Not at all sharp or challenging, the way Lila's had been.

"It's been quite a day for me too." Piccolo finally replied, making the woman giggle.

"I guess so, sir. You waited almost two minutes before saying that." She laughed, handing him an eye covering. "Let's get you set up here. It seems as though you are rather near-sighted, correct? And you think you may need a stronger lens prescription, right?"

"That's correct, Dr…"

"Taylor. Iris Taylor."

"You're kidding." Piccolo stated incredulously, smiling wide. "Iris?"

"I know, it's a running joke. But eyes have always fascinated me, what can I say? My name just happened to match my profession. Now, hold that up to your left eye…" She pointed to the covering Piccolo was holding, then indicated the chart. "And see what line you can read to." Piccolo complied and red off the firs three lines.

"E, Q, F, K, L, M, G, U…O? Or maybe another Q…" He removed the covering, smiling wryly. "I have no idea now. I'd just be guessing."

Dr. Taylor smiled and nodded, bringing down the machine used for finding glasses matches. She pushed Piccolo's back, so he was leaning forward slightly into the contraption. Piccolo caught a faint whiff of her perfume as she walked around him again. It was a light fragrance, but very becoming. It reminded him of early Spring, for some reason. He shook himself mentally and looked ahead. He was thinking just the way Nail and Sarah wanted him to. They were probably the reason he was acting so stupid.

"Now, tell me which of these helps you see better." Dr. Taylor said, clicking the light on and adjusting the focus. "This," she clicked another set of lenses by, "or this?"

"The second one, I think." Piccolo said, trying to pay attention. Her voice was just as friendly as her appearance. It was not overly bright and cheery, but sincerely good-natured.

"The second one? Ok, how about now?" She clicked another round of lenses by.

"This one is clearer than the last one." Piccolo said. The doctor scribbled something down and continued the process of finding Piccolo's perfect match.

When they were all finished, and Piccolo's prescription had been given to the young man from earlier, Dr. Taylor and Piccolo continued talking. The dentist found himself disappointed. He and the doctor had started talking about their mornings while determining his new prescription, and had found that the young lady was as kind as she appeared. Piccolo finishing up his morning story, telling about Nail taking him there.

"That's nice that your brother would do that for you! It's good to see that some siblings keep in touch. Most people today seem to loose sight of what's really important."

"Uh, yeah! Too bad about that." Piccolo said nervously, chuckling. "Too bad he's a terrible driver."

"How so?" Dr. Taylor asked, smiling as she accompanied Piccolo to the get a new selection of glasses.

Piccolo picked out a pair that matched his previous ones and gave them to the young man, who winked and left in a flourish to bring him the exact prescription.

"Well, this morning when we were pulling in here, he got a little too close to another car, and since I couldn't really see too well, I didn't judge the distance very well."

"Oh no! Did you hit it with your door?" She asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, unfortunately. I left my insurance and phone number under the wipers, though…" Piccolo said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I feel so bad about it. I probably just messed up someone's day, you know?"

"At least you were good enough to leave behind your information, though. Most people these days just leave the problem to the owner." Dr. Taylor said, shaking her head. "What kind of car was it, out of curiosity?" She asked as the assistant brought back frames for Piccolo. He tried them on and smiled. They were a perfect match. Piccolo scratched his head, a moment later, thinking about the question.

"I believe it was a Taurus. Um, blue, late model one." He glanced back at the doctor, who had covered her eyes with one hand.

"Oh man, this really isn't my morning." She said glumly, smiling sadly at Piccolo. The dentist felt all chances he had of getting to know her better fly out the window. He expected her to start yelling or something, but she merely shrugged and accompanied him to the front desk.

"I am SO sorry!" Piccolo exclaimed, putting a hand on his head. "Screw the insurance, I'll pay for it. Completely my fault. I am SO sorry." Dr. Taylor laughed, shaking her head.

"Mr. Damioh-"

"Piccolo, please." He blinked, unable to believe he had just said that.

"Piccolo. It's just a car. Nobody was hurt, and that's what is important."

Piccolo couldn't believe his ears. Nobody was that forgiving this early in the morning. No one!

"Still, I'd feel better if you let me get it fixed, doctor." He said, smiling weakly. "It's the least I can do."

The doctor sighed and conceded, returning Piccolo's smile. "You are very generous, Piccolo. And it's Iris." Piccolo mentally did a victory dance as Nail came up to the front desk, wide eyed. He mouthed a quick 'damn!' before Iris turned around, surprised.

"Oh! You didn't say he was your twin." She said, laughing. "I guess you're the driver that responsible for our dilemma."

Nail looked at Piccolo and grinned sheepishly. "Guilty."

"Well, like I told Piccolo, it's really no problem. Just be careful from now on." She said in a mock stern voice, making Piccolo laugh. Nail's eyes shot to his brother, unbelieving. They were on a first name basis already!

Piccolo grinned at his brother's confusion and turned back to Iris. "Don't worry, now that I can see again, there won't be any problems like this for a while, anyway."

"That's almost too bad." Iris said, writing her something on the back of her card. "It was nice meeting you, Piccolo."

Piccolo stared at the number given to him in shock. He nodded dumbly and grinned.

"You too." Was all he could say.


	9. Chapter 9

The Dentist: Chapter 9

"A census taker tried to quantify me once. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a big Amarone. Go back to school, little Starling." –Hannibal Lecter

Piccolo had already called a car detail shop and arranged for Iris's car to be picked up and taken care of. While they were waiting for it to arrive, they talked. Piccolo had whispered for Nail to go amuse himself for a while, which Nail did compliantly. Alone again, the two doctors had found they shared some common interests. Iris, herself, hated her car. She told him it made her feel old. Piccolo looked at his car and grinned. His Lincoln made him feel like a mobster. She had laughed when he told her this, and complimented his sense of humor. She didn't have a sarcastic sense of humor, like Lila did. Nor was she the least bit morbid. Piccolo felt as though she trusted everyone until they gave her a reason not to. He found this somewhat endearing, for unknown reasons. They talked about each other's profession. Piccolo admitted his slight displeasure at his job (though he conveniently forgot to mention his loathing for his patients and coworkers). He envied Iris in some respects. She loved her job, and looked for the best in people. She did what she did because she felt she was truly helping people. Piccolo felt guilty after that. He hadn't thought of how much his service benefited the community. He felt extremely self-centered after hearing Iris's side. Piccolo was trying to gather courage to ask her to dinner, but the fear of rejection weighed down his body like a lead ball. His chance was soon passed up as the car service pulled up.

Both adults seemed to be reluctant to leave. Iris's never-ending smile seemed to grow smaller, and her face showed signs of disappointment. The dentist believed that he was imagining this, however, and resolved to leave. Piccolo knew he was running late for his appointment, but for once, he really didn't care. Iris made him feel… He felt silly for thinking this, but he felt like a better person around her. Probably because neither had swore in their conversation, and the conversation was kept very clean. He had actually ventured out of his shell to get to know her, and had allowed her to do the same. He was certain he wasn't just drawn to her appearance, the way he had been with Lila. She held the rare quality of interest for him.

And that factor slightly frightened him.

He knew he shouldn't make her feel awkward and just leave. But he found he couldn't do that. He gathered all the courage that he had been storing over the minutes of talk, and finally poke his mind.

"Iris, do you think it would be all right if I, uh… I mean, if we talked… Again? It wouldn't have to be waiting for a car service… After work, sometime?" He almost sighed in relief after he got that out, and anxiously waited for her response.

Her smile returned to its previous brightness, reaching all the way to her friendly eyes.

"I'd be happy to, Piccolo. Even if my car doesn't need fixing." She chuckled quietly and shook his hand gently. Her own was a great contrast to Piccolo's, with a creamy look and satin-like touch. Piccolo felt himself grow slightly dizzy.

"Great, I'll give you a call sometime. Thanks again… You know…" He stopped his rambling and stepped towards his car, waving good-bye. "I'll see you later, Iris."

"I'll hold you to that." Iris grinned waving her petite hand as she went back inside. Piccolo calmly got in his car and turned the key in the ignition, trying to calm his nerves. He backed out of the parking lot and began looking for Nail. He found him sauntering down the sidewalk, talking on the phone. He rolled his eyes and pulled over.

"Hey, you coming? Or should you walk home?" Piccolo asked in annoyance. Nail hastily said a quick 'I love you' before he clicked the phone off, hopping in the car.

"WELL?" He asked loudly, grinning from ear to ear. "What happened, bro? Don't keep me in suspense."

Piccolo proceeded in explaining the topics of the conversation, and Iris in general. Nail looked knowingly at his brother, his green eyelids half closed. "How sweet."

"Shut up." Piccolo muttered, gripping the wheel tighter.

"HA ha, this is perfect. Two doctors, how precious." Nail muttered, a large grin plastered on his jovial face. "Before you know it, it'll be-" He halted his sentence to do the party boy sound with his throat.

"Would you shut UP!" Piccolo growled, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. "You and that damn kid, I swear…"

"That reminds me, she'll want to know." Nail chirped, getting out his cell phone. Piccolo's eyes widened at the thought of the kid knowing, and he attempted to get the phone from his brother.

Nail held the cell _just_ out of Piccolo's reach, tormenting him with taunts and grins.

"Nail, I'm not kidding around! Just give me the goddamn phone!" Piccolo kept an eye on traffic as he tried to get the small device again. Nail rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"So dramatic. Fine, I won't tell her." Piccolo sighed in relief and retracted his arm, placing his hand back on the steering wheel.

"Thank you." He finally said, staring at the red traffic light before him. Presently, he heard faint touch tones of the cell and screamed in frustration.

"NAIL, DAMN YOU!"

"Well I love you too, Pic, geez." Nail said, phone up to his ear. He smiled into the phone, saying a quick hello.

"Yeah, you'll never guess what happened. You ready? Ok, I took Pic to the eye doctor, and he met this babe there, and they're already on a first name basis. He even has her phone number! …Well, you're right. I accidentally parked too close to her car… Yeah, dent the shit out of it… That's what I said! He really should thank me… I know, he's probably going to wimp out… Oh yeah? …Ok, I'll tell him. Bye." Nail hung up the phone and smiled. "She says she's very proud of you, even though the circumstances were set up for you. And she says you should talk with her again, and try to ask her out."

"And I say leave me the HELL alone." Piccolo grumbled, hunching over the wheel. "But does ANYONE give a damn about my opinion? Of course not. I'm just the friggin' entertainment."

"Aww, Piccy… Don't be like that. You know we just love you!" Nail said, slapping his brother's bald head. "And we want what's best for you. I believe that getting a special friend is a good start."

"Special friend?" Piccolo asked wryly, giving his brother the 'you're an idiot' look.

"She'd have to be special to go out with you!" Nail howled, laughing until tears came to his eyes. "I'm just playing, Pic. Geez, don't give me that look."

Piccolo arrived at his office on time for his next appointment, much to Nail's glee.

"Can I watch?" He pleaded, his eyes big and shiny.

"NO." Piccolo said firmly, closing the door of the room behind him.

"Ok, but I still have your keys!" Nail chimed through the door, making Piccolo wince.

"All right, but you have to be quiet." Piccolo lamented, opening the door again.

"I will, Pic, I will. I just wanna see what's so bad about this job."

Piccolo looked like he would say something, but changed his mind. It only encouraged his brother when he responded.

Piccolo was carefully examining the canine teeth of the teenage boy, frowning. He pulled the surgeons mask over his nose and mouth and leaned in closer, prying the boy's mouth open. Goku held many of Piccolo's tools at the ready, smiling largely at the boy. He guaranteed the young patient wouldn't feel a thing and showed him the needle filled with Novocain. Nail was watching in fascination, his eyes round and shiny.

"Wow, you sure this won't be painful?" He asked, alarming the boy. Piccolo growled at his twin and reassured the young man that he would only feel a bit of pressure, no pain. Nail scoffed loudly, making the boy squirm. Piccolo sent a glare at Nail, who smiled sheepishly and waved for Piccolo to continue. Piccolo rolled his eyes and focused on the task in front of him.

"Now I'm going to give you this numbing medication, and then some happy gas. You'll feel like you're barely awake, but I'll need you to make sure you don't bite down on anything, ok?" The teen nodded slowly as Piccolo injected the Novocain in the mouth of the patient. He gave the needle to Goku and pulled the happy gas mask onto the boy's face. The young fellow's eyes presently drooped slightly, alerting Piccolo to start. Nail scoffed again, shaking his head.

"I don't know WHAT you complain about, Piccy. This looks fun to me!" Piccolo glanced over his shoulder at his brother and scowled.

"Try doing it everyday."

The rest of the day had gone off without a hitch. Nail soon tired of Piccolo's surliness and amused himself by communicating with some of the patients. Piccolo didn't admit this, but having someone other than Goku to talk to during the waiting period was actually kind of nice. Of course he told Nail to quit bugging him and go away, but Nail knew better. When the time came go home, Piccolo found that the day had actually gone quite fast and smooth. He knew the reason, of course. The whole day, Iris's image kept swimming through his mind, making him smile slightly. He wanted to know her better, and spend time with her. For some reason or another, he just couldn't seem to shake her from his thoughts. In any case, when five o'clock rolled around, he was out the door, with Nail scrambling behind him.

"Piccolo, where's the fire, geez! I only ran two years of JV track, come on!" He exaggerated as Piccolo quickly got in his car and started the engine.

"I just want to get home, that's all." Piccolo said distractedly, looking in his rear-view mirror for signs of oncoming traffic.

"And I just want to survive the night." Nail said as his normally cautious brother sped down the streets in a flurry or lights and honks.

Piccolo pulled in the driveway very quickly, startling his neighbor Renee Hill. She was one of Lila's closest friends, and loathed Piccolo almost as much as Lila herself did.

"You nearly killed my roses, you asshole! Learn how to drive sometime, eh?" She yelled at Piccolo, who was already on his way to the door.

"I wasn't aiming for the roses, woman!" Was all he said as he reached his door, nearly keeling over when he saw Sarah grinning at him. He gasped as she hugged him tightly, cutting off his air supply.

"I KNEW you could do it! I knew it! I'm so PROUD of you, Piccolo, you old lady killer, you." When she realized Piccolo was about to pass out from lack of air she released him. "Sorry, I got excited. So, are you going to sit there catching your breath, or are you going to tell me about her?" Piccolo shook off the greeting. Nothing could damper his mood right now. Even if Lila and Bill started copulating in his yard, he'd just grin and close the blinds. He was _that_ happy.

"Iris the eye doctor, eh? How cool! So she has reddish hair and green eyes too? You said she was small framed, too…Wow, she sounds pretty the way you describe her." Sarah's eyes were as round and shiny as new quarters as she gleefully pumped Piccolo for information. The trio had been sitting on Piccolo's couch eating sandwiches, while Nail and the girl forced every piece of memory from the poor dentist.

"Yeah, she was pretty hot." Nail cut in, his eyes half closed in a perverted looking way. "She had FINE legs that stretched to heaven, huh Piccolo? And I'd bet she has had a kid at some point, 'cause DAMN." Nail patted his heart. "Too spicy for a doctor, I'd say. Good thing you saw her first, Piccolo."

"Nail, shut up." Piccolo told his brother for the millionth time that day. "You guys are acting like I just proposed. I just think she's nice, that's all."

"Uh oh, he said _nice_. You know what that translates to, right Piccy-wiccy?" Nail teased, rubbing his brother's head. Piccolo slapped Nail's hand away and frowned.

"She'll probably forget me by the time she gets home tonight." Piccolo mumbled, looking at his shoes. Sarah looked at him incredulously, her mouth wide open.

"HELLO? You're friggin' green Piccolo. You're handsome too, you know? Not too many of you running around. Plus, it sounds like you didn't blow the conversation bit, so I think you have a real chance, Piccy! Besides, she said she wanted to talk again. Call her tomorrow night… No no, two nights. Don't want it to seem like you're desperate or anything. No rush, right? Ok then, plan a nice evening for a night in advance, but be flexible for two. Call really nice restaurants until you find one that has a table for two nights, and book them both. That way, she won't feel all pressured. I think you've got something good, Piccolo."

"Where should I take her?" Piccolo asked helplessly, a look of panic on his face. "What if she hates some type of food, and I choose some restaurant that only serves that?"

"Pick somewhere that serves a few types of food, stupid." Nail remarked, already looking in the phone book.

"Pick somewhere that serves seafood." Sarah chimed in, grinning at Nail.

"Yeah…" Nail said slyly, rubbing his hands together.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Piccolo demanded, scowling heavily.

"It's well-known that some foods like shrimp are aphrodisiacs. Duh." Sarah stated matter-of-factly. "Therefor, a good place to start-"

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Two days had gone by. Two long and trying days. Piccolo now sat by the phone with Sarah and Nail hovering over his shoulder, waiting for him to call Iris. Piccolo sighed and stood up, shaking his head.

"I can't do it… She'll probably think I'm pressuring her or something." He mumbled, but was shoved back into the chair by his brother.

"Quit acting like such a tit and call her." Nail instructed, pointing at the phone. "Or we won't EVER leave you alone, right kid?"

Sarah nodded eagerly, grinning from ear to ear. "Please, Piccolo? Just try, ok? The worst POSSIBLE thing that could happen is she'll say no. If that happens, we'll begin at square one, no big deal."

Piccolo still looked reluctant, much to his twin's dismay.

"Piccolo, pick up the fucking phone already. You're acting like a little bitch." Nail said in frustration, grabbing Piccolo's hand and making it curl around the phone. "Now dial her number and ask her out." Piccolo gulped and nodded, slightly alarmed at his brother's change of mood. He dialed her number, but hung up after one ring.

"I guess she's not home." He said, trying to look convincing.

"Bullshit, move over." Nail shoved his brother out of the way and pushed the re-dial button, sending Piccolo into a frenzy.

"Nail, NO!" He yelled, but it was too late. The phone rang about three times before a feminine voice picked up.

"Hello?"

Piccolo grabbed the phone and cleared his voice, hoping he didn't sound too nervous. "Uh, Iris?" He asked timidly, hoping he had gotten the wrong house.

"Actually, I'm her sister. Let me get her really quick. Can I ask who's calling?" The voice resembled Iris's voice, though it lacked her warmth.

"Piccolo." He said as nicely as he could, hoping he didn't sound too strained.

"Huh, interesting. Hey I, 'Piccolo' is on the phone!" She called the last part to her sister, who picked up a moment later.

"Hi Piccolo, how are you?" Iris greeted brightly, making Piccolo feel a little more at ease. He wanted to say he felt better now, but knew that would sound stupid.

"I'm good, how about you?" He noticed with extreme agitation that his brother and Sarah were hanging on every word.

"Ugh, long day. But it's getting better!" She said optimistically, making Piccolo brace himself.

"Uh, Iris? I was wondering if maybe you'd like to join me for dinner tomorrow night? If you can't, I'd completely-"

"Don't be ridiculous, Piccolo! I'd love to. Just name the time and place, and I'll be there!" She said cheerfully, making Piccolo almost gasp at his luck.

"The Luna Azure at eight?" He asked timidly, and was relieved to hear her say yes. "Thanks, Iris. I look forward to seeing you there."

"Me too, Piccolo. Have a nice night!" She said warmly, leaving Piccolo smiling.

"Ok, you too." He hung up and gasped as Nail and Sarah pounced on him.

"YOU DID IT, FINALLY!" Nail exclaimed, slapping Piccolo's face playfully. "I knew you had it in you deep, deep, deep, deep-"

"Thank you, Nail." Piccolo cut him off dryly.

"…Deep down." Nail finished, grinning.

"Now we have to pick out something for you to wear, Piccy." Sarah cheered, pulling his arm as Nail lead the way into Piccolo's bedroom. "A nice suit can get you lucky, you know."


	10. Chapter 10

**The Dentist:** Chapter 10

"_We are all men who have refused to be fools, who have refused to be puppets dancing on a string pulled by the men on high."- _Don Corleone from The Godfather.

-

Piccolo watched in embarrassment as his brother and diminutive friend raided his closet. Sarah popped her blonde head out every five seconds, commenting on the lack of color.

"For the love of Pete, Piccolo, did you clone all of your clothes? I feel like I'm having déjà vu. Only with suits." She said, shaking her head. "Got anything else?"

Piccolo shook his head. "Not really. I've never had the need to. Lila always said that black was a neutral color and matched my quiet reserve."

"You could fertilize that lawn with that bullshit." Sarah scoffed, putting her hands on her hips. "I think dark colors could suit you very well, Piccy. Maybe a deep red or blue… Stay away from bright colors, though. No offense, but you would look effin' stupid."

"Thanks." Piccolo sighed, resting his cheek in one hand. "I'm just not used to this kind of thing. It still doesn't feel like it's happening."

"Oh it's happening, all right." Nail said, grinning sinisterly. "And you WILL like it. So get your green ass up, and we'll go get you fitted for some new suits."

Piccolo glowered at his brother, angry at being ordered around. "Nail-"

"He's right, green-go. Let'smake like a baby and head out." Sarah shoved him roughly from his chair, letting Nail drag him the rest of the way to the door. The kid grinned, rubbing her pale hands together. "You'll thank us later. Ow, SHIT!" She winced as she ran into doorframe with her knee, and hopped on one leg to the car, holding the injured part in the air. She caught Piccolo's 'I told you this was a bad idea' look and scowled. "It's not like it's an omen or something."

-

"Hurry up, bro, we haven't got all day." Nail muttered in agitation as he checked his watch. "It can't be that bad, get out here."

Piccolo had done through numerous different suits, none of which matched him. The fitter was a little too friendly with his tape measure, causing Piccolo to be reluctant to come out of the safety of the dressing room.

"Hey, I'm counting to three before I drag you out!" Nail said loudly, approaching the door. Piccolo growled audibly and turned the knob, stepping out.

He looked much different now that he wasn't dressed in a black suit. Sarah pondered that this was the first time she had seen him without the color on. Piccolo sighed and allowed the kid to poke the material and smile broadly.

It was a sleek silver color, the hue common to steel. It was a matching three-piece suit, with the vest a deep crimson shade, and the tie a deep charcoal tint. Piccolo felt humiliated as Sarah wolf whistled, while still nursing her hurt fingers. She had accidentally shut them in the car door, making Piccolo further assert that these were signs. She had scoffed and told him she was clumsy, that's all.

"Damn, Piccolo, you are lucky I'm not a few years older…" The kid smirked, winking jokingly. "Mm-hmm! I might have to get me a piece of that ass!"

Nail roared in laughter, clutching his stomach. "Ahahaha…that's rich. It does sort of suit you… Get it? SUIT!" Both Nail and Sarah burst out in hysterics, though Piccolo didn't see the humor in the corny pun. He turned around to change out of the clothing, hearing Sarah yell at him that they weren't finished.

"I don't want to look anymore." Piccolo said in an almost whiny voice.

"Don't care. We'll get you some shirts to try on, ok? By the way, don't even TRY sneaking out. We still have your house keys." Nail reminded him. Piccolo groaned and followed his brother to go find some more articles of clothing.

-

"Why aren't you in school again?" Piccolo asked Sarah dully as she cheerfully carried a bag of shirts they had just bought. Nail was grinning as he carried the new suits they had purchased as well.

"It's Christmas break, stupid. The big day isn't very far off, you know. Better get me something good, too." She added as an afterthought. She stubbed her foot on a niche in the sidewalk, stumbling forward. "MOTHER- Gah!" Nail laughed as they reached the car and piled everything in. Piccolo glared at his brother over his shoulder.

"Weren't you going on a cruise for the holidays?" He asked grudgingly, frowning in the sulky way of a pissed off teenager.

"I was, but I figured, 'What the hell? Maybe I can help my favorite brother get a special gift this year.' Hey, what! I was only kidding, geez." Nail rubbed the place on his head where Piccolo had slapped him. "You had better acquire a sense of humor before your date, you know." Sarah nodded solemnly and got in the car.

"If the night goes well, you have to get her a present!" Sarah said, looking out the window at the cold gray sky. "It has to be nice, too. Like a really expensive brand of perfume or jewelry…Of course, jewelry can mean that you are getting serious, and you haven't even gone out yet… But then again-"

"Shut UP. Please." Piccolo said, making the kid go silent.

"I was just trying to help, Piccolo." She said Piccolo very coldly, and her eyes didn't hold the usual cheeriness that made them light up. "Why don't you quit acting like an asshole and appreciate the help?"

Piccolo felt guilty instantly. He had panicked after he had asked Iris out, and who had helped him? The very people he was being surly to. He felt like a jerk, and made up his mind to be patient with them. He knew they really did only want to help. He smiled apologetically and bowed his head slightly.

"I'm sorry. Thanks for the advice." Sarah seemed to accept this apology and grinned, tilting her head slightly.

"Hey, no problem Piccolo. We all act like little bitches sometimes." She dismissed his apology with a wave. "But seriously, let's talk about your conversations."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Piccolo asked, confused.

Nail put on his seatbelt as Piccolo started the car and turned towards his brother. "She means what are you going to talk about."

"Well no shit, Nail. What the hell does that mean?" Piccolo said in exasperation.

"I recommend that you keep the topic on a common subject. Since you are both doctors, something medical perhaps? Or, if all else fails, talk about HER. Most people LOVE talking about themselves. Well, I don't really because people call me crazy and stuff, but _most_ people do. And this lady seems pretty normal. I hope she's not a complete hooch." She muttered, looking at her fingernails. "Then again, she can't be as big a whore as Lila. Oh, sorry. Well, you know what I mean." She quickly covered, smiling goofily. "It's just that fast girls aren't, well… It doesn't matter. I bet she's really nice." Nail turned around in his seat to look at the girl, his green lids half covering his dark eyes.

"Do you listen to yourself, kid?" He asked in a monotone voice, making her shrug.

"I come in and out." She said nonchalantly, making Piccolo wince.

'_Reassuring_' was the word that ran through his head.

-

The kid had gone home a long time ago, leaving only Piccolo and his brother at the house. Nail was talking on the phone to his girlfriend, who had given him hell about the cruise. She really didn't want to go alone, from what Piccolo could gather. Nail had left Piccolo to go outside to talk, since it was getting loud. That was fine with Piccolo, who hadn't had a spare moment to himself for a while.

He sighed and ran a hand over his head, thinking of the good old days. He wondered if he was ready for this date, no matter how casual or unimportant. It was his first one since Lila.

_Lila._

He stood up and checked to make sure Nail was still outside before he quietly went upstairs to the room he used for storage. He had saved one thing of Lila's. He didn't know why, but the effort and love put into it reminded him that the years he had been with her weren't a complete waste of his life. He opened a small dresser drawer and pulled out a thick photo album.

The book was a hefty one bound in a deep red cover. Piccolo ran his hands over it, a floral scent reaching his nose and making dormant memories churn in his mind. His eyes moved past the cover to the pictures on the first page. He and Lila were on a hammock, fresh into their honeymoon. He closed his eyes as a particularly poignant reminiscence forced itself upon him.

"_Where are the pictures of the beach? Pic?" Lila called, making her husband stick his head in the doorway in inquiry._

"_You put them in the drawer to your left." He said, coming in and shutting the door behind him. "You always put the pictures there, remember?" He admired his wife's silhouette, and the way her deep lips were pursued as if deep in thought. A lock of raven hair fell over her eyes as she fumbled through the white cabinet, finally finding the pictures she was looking for._

_She smiled and pulled them out, waving them at him. "I was just making sure _you _knew, silly. I wanted to know that you cared that I enjoy this stuff." Piccolo stood behind her as she sat in her chair, leafing through the pictures while picking out ones she wanted to put in the photo album. _

"_Which ones do you like?" She asked him, handing him a stack of pictures from their last vacation. _

"_Hmm… How about this one…and this… and oh, thisone is nice." Piccolo grinned and held up the last one of Lila posing in her bikini for the camera, a saucy look on her face. Lila slapped Piccolo's arm and tried to get the picture, but the tall man easily held it out of her reach. _

"_You know, I think this is the picture I needed at my desk in the office…" Piccolo murmured in amusement, making Lila blush._

"_Don't you dare, Piccolo Damioh! Give me that picture right now!" She tried reaching it again, but when Piccolo held it out of reach again she pulled his shirt collar down so that his face was at her level. She smirked and kissed him hard on the mouth, making the picture slip from his grasp. She took off his tie and tossed it aside, never letting Piccolo away from her tight hold. She unbuttoned the first two clapses on her husband's shirt and allowed her hands to run freely along his chest. Finally she had to break it off to let the man get a breath of air, but stood soon after, making a pouty face, knowing he couldn't resist her anything when she did that._

"_Piccy, my chair is too hard. Be a dear…" Piccolo playfully rolled his eyes and sat on the chair, allowing Lila onto his lap afterwards. She snuggled up to his chest, smiling softly._

"_That's better." She whispered, burying her face his the fabric of his shirt. _

"_It sure is." Piccolo said gently, stroking her soft, thick hair. Her perfume always made him think of fields of roses, with soft petals tenderly covering the ground. _

'Roses always have thorns.' He thought bitterly as he snapped out of his daze and shut the book sharply. That was the past, and he didn't need reminding on how happiness felt. He had that now. He had a high paying job, lived in a nice house, drove a new car…

He sighed and threw the book back into the drawer, and covered his eyes with the palms of his hands. He _had_ forgotten what true happiness felt like. He had been living in a strange hell-like dream for the past five months. A lonely existence, really. He hadn't allowed himself to ponder too long over that until now. He looked at the drawer again before his forearms collapsed on his knees for support, keeping him from completely falling over. He missed having a companion with a passion. It wasn't fair that he had been fooled into thinking that he had found the woman for him, only to have her cruelly snatched away from him. His shoulders racked with a lone dry sob as he wondered what he had done wrong to deserve such torment. He wouldn't allow himself to be weak like that, though, and sat up calmly. He methodically breathed in and out, slowly. He closed his eyes and merely let his mind wander for a while, oblivious of the dark figure that slowly retreated away from the door and into the hallway.

Nail rubbed the back of his neck as he recalled how much Piccolo had really been affected by Lila's infidelities. He wished desperately that his brother could have been spared from the pain that the woman had brought him. He scoffed and shook his head as he looked out of a large window in the den. The snow had begun to fall again, and made the ground almost phosphorescent in the moonlight. Nail smirked ruefully as he thought of how odd it was that a night could be so beautiful and yet cruel at the same time. It looked sparkling and magnificent to two people who knew they had someone to watch it with. But to one lonely person, the endless fall of the frigid powder appeared a desolate reminder of their own isolation.

Nail watched the swirling bits of frozen flakes for a few minutes before he went back upstairs to check on his brother. The room he had recently occupied was empty, and the lights had been shut off. Nail frowned and went down the hall to where Piccolo's room was. He found his brother splayed across his bed, already asleep. His bare chest rose and fell in rhythm as he slept on without notice of Nail.

'He must have been worn out from all this crap.' Nail pondered to himself as he walked back to his own room. He kicked off his shoes and threw his clothes in the hamper by the door, getting under the covers in his boxers. He frowned sadly as he recalled the conversation he had just ended a few minutes prior.

He rolled on his side and looked at the empty side bed with contempt. His girlfriend had expressed her feelings about his frequent absences lately. She had told him that she couldn't wait for him forever, in more or less words. Nail had patiently explained that Piccolo had needed him for the past five months, and he hadn't lifted a finger to do anything. However, the woman couldn't see why it was taking so long. That was when Nail made his decision. His flesh and blood required his help and he would stick with him until he got on his feet again.

Nail smiled wryly and closed his eyes. He listened to the clock's hands tick away seconds of his life, falling asleep soon after shutting his optics.


	11. Chapter 11

**The Dentist**: Chapter Eleven

"Now that's a chick for ya! Breasts, legs, not to mention other qualities…"

"This is making me hungry."

"Get a grip, man!"- Nail and Piccolo (both VERY drunk), _The Comic._

_-_

Piccolo finished his last cavity filling for the day and sighed in relief. He could finally go home now. He quickly got Goku to clean up, and left after saying a hasty good-bye to his secretary. He rushed to his car and unlocked it, looking at his watch as he did so. He quickly got in and started the car, hoping that he didn't hit traffic on his way home.

Twenty minutes later, he reached his street and pulled down the quiet drive. When he reached his house, he practically jumped out of the car while it was moving and ran inside. Of course Nail was there, talking on the phone. He glanced at Piccolo and said 'yeah, just walked in.' He hung up afterwards and smiled at his brother.

"Hey, big man! Ready for-"

"Nail, I don't think I can do this!" Piccolo interrupted. "I mean, I almost had an attack at the office. I don't know if this was such a good idea."

"Oh, shut the hell UP already." Nail snapped, slapping his brother smartly on the cheek. "Be a man, Piccolo. Quit crying, for Christ's sake!"

"I'm not crying…' Piccolo muttered, holding his injured cheek. "Besides, how do we even know I'm ready for this?"

Nail sighed in frustration and pushed Piccolo down in the couch. "Listen. You are NEVER going to be perfectly ready. That's why you have to start now, before you just put it off and put it off. I know it's kind of scary for you, but it's JUST A WOMAN. She seems nice, and her teeth weren't sharpened into fangs or anything. The worst thing that could happen is that she doesn't go out with you anymore. But you know what? There are always more women out there. Sometimes it's just a fishing game."

"Rejection is pretty bad." Piccolo lamented, resting his cheek in his right hand. "But maybe you're right."

"I _know_ I'm right." Nail said cockily, helping Piccolo out of his chair. "Now, go get ready!"

Piccolo nodded and took off his tie. He began unbuttoning his shirt as he went up to his room, thinking about the night before him as he did so. When he got to his room, he tossed his shirt into the hamper, adding his pants and boxers after a moment. He stepped inside the shower and turned on the water, wincing as it turned from icy cold to very hot. As he washed away the day he thought about what to wear. He knew the kid and Nail would make him wear one of the new suits they had gotten him, but he had no idea which one.

When he had finished, he stepped outside of the shower and grabbed a large towel. He wrapped it around his waist and went into his room, where he was about to pull on some clothes when he heard the doorbell ring. He growled in agitation.

"Nail, would you get that?" He called loudly, so that his brother would hear. After a few seconds the bell rang again. "NAIL, get the damn door, would ya?" He yelled, becoming annoyed. Still, the bell rang insesitantly, and Piccolo had had enough. He went downstairs and opened the door, thinking Nail must have locked himself out or something stupid. However, a very surprised looking Sarah stood in the doorway, her blue eyes round.

"Ehehehe… Did I come too early?" She asked, scratching the back of her head. "Maybe not, damn. Me likey the lack of clothes, Picster. You'll definitely shock the hell out of the woman."

"Get in." Piccolo said irritably, a blush staining his cheeks. "Do you know what happened to Nail?" He asked, looking past her. Nail's car was still there, from what he could tell. But he didn't have his glasses on…

"Uh, I'm sure he'll be back in a minute." She said nervously, grinning in a way that looked deceitful. Piccolo decided to let it fly for now, and went back up to his room. The kid began to follow him, but Piccolo put a hand out.

"Let me get dressed, willl you?" He asked in annoyance, making the kid pout.

"Aww, I liked the nude look." She groused, flopping onto the couch. She flipped on the TV, leaving Piccolo to his business. He quickly went to his room and pulled on some clothes; Just a white t-shirt and some gray shorts he used when he had been involved in a gym. He went back downstairs and found the kid laughing at the TV. He groaned as he saw that the show was South Park, and quickly turned the show off. Sarah grumbled to herself and sulkily looked at him.

"That stuff rots your mind." He said in a parental voice, frowning. He was about to ask her to tell him where his brother was when he heard the sound of an engine revving. He looked at Sarah, who helplessly held up her hands. She looked towards the door guiltily, though, giving herself in. Piccolo sighed and walked to the entrance of the house and opened the door slowly. He almost fainted when he saw what his brother was driving.

In his driveway sat the largest, newest, _reddest_ Corvette available. The new paint shone in the dimming sunlight, making Piccolo wince.

"Nail, what the hell is this? What do you think you're doing?" Piccolo yelled at his twin, who jumped out of the beautiful car and grinned.

"I'm helping you out, man! You'd be surprised the things women will do in this baby." He lovingly patted the hood, only to have a pissed off dentist in his face afterwards.

"Where the HELL is my car?" He asked, his tone emitting rage and disbelief at the same time. Nail chuckled nervously and shrugged.

"Probably in someone's garage by now." He said quietly, his face softly beaming with a defiant air. "That was not the car for you, dear brother."

Piccolo yelled in frustration and grabbed his brother's shirt. "Nail, what the hell am I supposed to do with this damn thing! I'm a dentist! We don't DRIVE these kind of cars."

Nail grinned and shook his head. "You do now. Kid, what did you think about Piccolo's car before?" Sarah was already in the driver's seat, pretending to race other invisible drivers.

"It was nice and everything but… My grandmother Anne has one almost just like it." Nail sneered and clapped Piccolo on the shoulder.

"You see, Piccy? This honey is sure to get you lucky faster than your stupid town car. You're aiming for results, aren't you?"

"Nail, geez." Piccolo looked to the car, but Sarah wasn't listening. She had turned on the music, and techno blared out of the loud sound system. Piccolo groaned as he felt the earth around him vibrate slightly. Sarah bobbed her head along with the pulsing music, only to have Piccolo come and rip out the keys.

"Nail, you have to return this immediately." He said in his sternest tone. Nail smiled goofily, shaking his head.

"Can't, bro. No returns accepted. See, I thought you might be shy to the idea of something cool, so I took the liberty of adding a 'no return possible'. Besides…" He went to the door of the car and touched the seats. "Pure leather, man. No rug burns here."

"NAIL!"

"Ok, ok. But look here." He motioned to the gear shifter between the seats.

"It's a stick…" Piccolo said in awe, having missed the feeling of switching gears to speed up. Nail nodded and pushed him inside, the kid in tow.

-

"So, let me hear it again." Nail urged his brother, who was sipping a glass of water to calm his nerves.

"Good evening, Iris. You look beautiful tonight. I know we didn't plan this, but I was thinking after dinner we could- NAIL, KNOCK IT OFF!"

Nail had been trying to contain his laughter, unsuccessfully. He burst into hysterics, making Piccolo scowl heavily.

"I'm sorry, but you just look so funny. Don't be so rigid, though. For instance, would you ever go up to a woman and ask if they wanted to have sexual intercourse? Hell no! You make them want to, see? If I was Iris, I'd think you were scared of women, what with the cautious tone you're using, right kid?"

Sarah nodded feverently. "It's like this kid in my karate. We finally got a cute high school boy, but then he started talking. My God, I guess he hasn't gone through puberty yet. Talk about dog whistle." She realized she was ranting and started again. "Our point is that no matter how good you look, you have to convey that image through your speech for the goods to come across."

"Yes, that." Nail said, nodding slowly. "Besides, you can't pull off the 'how cute, he's shy' type of thing. You just don't look like that kind of guy, Piccy. Blame Pop for giving us his genes. You're over six and a half feet tall, man. You can't look like you're scared of anything."

"Yeah, what looks cute on some guys would look stupid with you. Besides, you have that late night radio announcer voice. You'll want to go that way." She checked her watch, head tilted. Nail's cell phone went off, so he quickly put a finger up and left the room, mouthing a quick apology. Sarah shrugged and leaned back in her seat. "It's seven thirty now, Pic. You'll leave in about-"

Piccolo's house phone rang, cutting the girl off mid-sentence. She picked it up without even thinking and answered with a friendly hello. Her face seemed to pale slightly as she said a faint yes and handed the phone to Piccolo. He took it, a feeling of dread coming into his stomach.

"Hello?"

"Piccolo, hi." Iris's voice still sounded pleasant, but with a sad undertone. Piccolo braced himself for the worst as he gripped the phone tighter.

"Iris, nice to hear from you. What's up?"

Iris's sweet tone faltered for a moment. "Piccolo, I really wanted to go with you tonight… But I can't. Something unexpected came up, and I'll have to ask if we can reschedule. I'm so sorry." She did seem guinuinely sad for this incident, but Piccolo supposed she just felt sorry for him.

"It's all right, Iris. I understand." He said, but he said it with some fair stiffness. "We'll just…try for another time, I guess."

Iris could obviously detect the feeling of rejection in Piccolo's tone. "Piccolo, please don't be upset. I can't really…explain it."

"It's ok. You don't have to." Piccolo said, his voice going down to a low rumble.

"Yes, I feel like I do. Listen, I trust you enough to know my address. Go down north fifth street, until you reach the coffee place, 'Roasting Beans' or whatever. Turn onto Elm from there, and go down that until you reach a cul-de-sac, Elm Place. Ok? I'm the two story blue house, number four. Can you remember that?" Piccolo had been jotting it down, just in case he forgot.

"Yeah, I have it." He said, raising a brow. "But I must admit, I'm a little confused."

"I know, but I can't find the words right now. If you'll come over, you'll understand." She said, her nice voice echoing in Piccolo's ears.

"I'll be there soon Iris. Thank you for calling."

"Good bye, Piccolo. Drive safe."

"I will, thanks." Piccolo softly hung up the phone, more than slightly confused.

"Well? What the hell happened?" Sarah and Nail demanded, almost simultaneously.

"She wants me to go over… to her place." He said slowly, then had Nail on him a second later.

"Lucky! Usually they wait until _after_ the first date to invite you to their joint!"

"Nail, shut the hell up. Just tell me what to do."

"Well, get ready for one thing." Sarah butted in, frowning. "And hurry up, Piccolo. NEVER make the lady wait." Piccolo was already halfway upstairs, with his brother in tow.

-

Piccolo turned on his blinker as he got in the left turning lane. He then shifted down to first gear as he approached the red light, feeling like it was purposefully going slow to spite him. When it changed to a green arrow, he quickly sped onto Fifth street and went down until the coffee house came into sight. He turned rather sharply onto Elm and raced down the street until he saw the cul-de-sac previously described to him. He turned more carefully into the little place and slowed the Corvette until he came to a dead stop in front of number four.

The house looked like he knew it would. The walk leading up were very clean stones, made of some dark mineral. Trees that would regain their leaves in spring now sat laden with snow, giving a post card-like quality to the area. White Christmas lights dangled from the house's frame, casting some light onto the snow in front of it. The porch light was on, as were the lights on the inside of the house, Piccolo could make out a decorated tree and various other seasonal décor as he approached the front door. He saw his breath in the air as he exhaled slowly, reaching for the doorbell. He pushed the little white button firmly, and waited for response. Soon, the approach of footsteps reached his keen ears, and the door opened to reveal Iris, who was still dressed for a date, it appeared.

Her dress was a deep red, accenting her hair beautifully. The neck sloped gracefully downward, showing a modest amount of cleavage. The dress ended close to the floor, though a large slit along the side allowed her lengthy legs to be shown. Piccolo tried not to stare as she opened the door wider, letting him in. Piccolo stepped inside slowly, and carefully shut the door behind him, keeping out the draft.

"You look beautiful, Iris." He blurted out, before he realized what he was saying.

"Thank you, Piccolo. You look very handsome tonight, too." She smiled, a faint blush on her cheeks. "But I'm afraid you have to see why I can't come with you tonight." She took his hand and led him into the next room, making Piccolo's heart beat loudly. He was afraid she would hear the muscle pounding against his rib cage and took a steadying breath. Iris turned around and sighed, making Piccolo frown slightly. Whatever it was, she was rattled.

"Piccolo, it wasn't fair of me not to mention this. But whenever I tell any man about it, he runs like a bat out of hell. I know that doesn't make it right, but I hope you can forgive me." She left the room for a minute, leaving a very stricken Piccolo behind. He was worried now, and wondered wildly what could be so big. The answer came in a small figure.

The size and shape of a young boy, in fact.

Iris smiled faintly as she picked up the small child, holding him close to her. Chubby hands held tightly to her in return. The head of the boy was nothing like Iris's. His hair was a dark pitch of black, and unruly at every end. His mouth was so small, and persuded as if in anxiety. His eyes were round and clear, and the extreme blue of the iris made him look very intelligent. Piccolo couldn't make heads or tails of the situation, though, until Iris stepped towards him.

"Piccolo, this is Noah. He's… my son."


	12. Chapter 12

**The Dentist**: Chapter Twelve 

"It's true- every work group has a sadistic nut. If yours doesn't, it's probably you." –Dilbert's _It's not Funny if I have to Explain it._

"Your…son?" Piccolo took a sharp breath of air, since he had been holding it for the past few seconds. Iris nodded and smiled softly at the little boy, who grinned shyly at Piccolo and waved with a chubby hand.

"From my marriage. Past marriage." She said quietly, setting Noah down gently. He ran, none too gracefully, over to Piccolo and looked up at the tall man, grinning rather largely now.

"Gween!" He said, pointing at the dentist. He jumped up and down a few times, laughing innocently. "Mistah Gween!" He chanted again and again.

"How um, old is he?" Piccolo ventured, wincing as the little boy tugged on his pant leg.

"He'll be two and a half, soon." Iris replied, going into the kitchen. "Can I get you something to drink? Tea, water, coffee…"

Piccolo wanted to say a scotch but restrained himself. "I'm fine, thank you." He said politely, watching the little boy with amusement. The diminutive Noah had managed to do a somersault on the carpeted floor, grinning as he did so. He turned to Piccolo and held out his hands, obviously expecting the green man to do the same.

Piccolo cautiously held out his own large hands to Noah, who grabbed them and used the leverage to flip himself over, utilizing Piccolo's legs as a climbing tool. Piccolo blinked in surprise when the little boy landed on his feet, giggling like mad. Iris came back a moment later, carrying a small red sippy cup in one hand. She put her free hand on her hip and playfully frowned.

"Noah, Mister Damioh is not a jungle gym. Go play in the toy room for a little while, please." Noah accepted the cup and ran out of the room again, leaving Piccolo and Iris alone.

"He's really smart, isn't he?" Piccolo said, smiling slightly.

"He's very unique." Iris smiled back, sitting on the soft, dark blue couch. Piccolo followed suit and leaned back slightly, so he didn't look too up tight. He was scared, though. He didn't really know anything about kids, except his patients. And from what he could tell, they were all really hyper, loud little things that moved at the speed of light… Sometimes faster.

"Piccolo, I'm sorry again for not telling you earlier. You just seemed like a good person to get to know, and children usually drive people away."

"It's really not a problem." Piccolo waved off, smiling. Inside his mind was a whirl of ideas and scary propositions. He didn't like Iris any less. He was actually startled to find that the boy made her seem more… Real.

"No, I should have explained better. You see, my normal baby-sitter canceled on me maybe an hour ago. I called my sister, hoping she would be able to do it. Unfortunately, she's come down with a cold and can't leave her house." She smiled at Piccolo apologetically. "I just didn't have another option. I didn't want you to think that I didn't want to go with you, though. So, the truth came out."

"I know someone who would do it, if you still wanted to go out." Piccolo blurted out, instantly realizing his mistake. How would he say he knew Sarah? He couldn't tell her that his patient was helping him up after his hellish divorce, and that she was only sixteen. It would sound so pathetic. No, it had to be something else. Something that made sense, and that Iris would like.

Iris smiled, her eyes growing happy again. "Really? Who might that be?"

Piccolo knew that he was up a creek now, but he couldn't stop himself from saying, "My daughter."

Iris looked surprised for a minute, but was grinning again in a minute. "How nice, Piccolo! I guess we're even, then. How old is she?"

"She's sixteen." Piccolo said, trying to judge how shocked Iris looked.

"Wow, please don't take this rudely, but you hardly look old enough to have a sixteen year old."

"Good genes." Piccolo grinned, knowing full well he was digging his own grave. But he really wanted to know Iris. He felt drawn to her, for some reason. Although he knew that eventually the truth would come out, he couldn't stop himself. A kid was common ground. Iris would relate to him better. Then, when she knew him better, he would tell the truth, and hopefully she would forgive him.

"So your daughter was the nice girl on the phone, right? Are you sure she wouldn't mind?" Iris asked politely, while Piccolo mentally hyperventilated.

"No, I'm sure she wouldn't. Let me call her real quick." He smiled and pulled out his cell phone, quickly dialing his house. Sarah picked up after a couple of rings, sounding apprehensive.

"Piccolo, is everything ok? She didn't tie you to a chair or anything, right? Because it's always the nice ones…"

Piccolo laughed nervously and slowly walked to the edge of the room. Iris mouthed that she was going to check on Noah, leaving Piccolo alone.

"Kid, listen. I'm calling in a huge favor from you."

"Sure, Piccolo, anything."

"Iris…has a kid."

"HOLY SHIT!"

"Yeah. And well, she had to cancel because there is no babysitter."

"I'm on my way. By the way, what do I get for this? I mean, the incentive has to be good."

Piccolo sighed and spoke lowly. "I'll let you drive the Vette."

"Seriously? Hot damn, I'll be there quicker than a whore in France. But first, how do I get there?"

Piccolo proceeded in giving her the directions, and had to repeat them twice because the kid was so giddy about the car.

"Ok, I got it. Be there in a few!"

"Wait! There's something else-" But she had already hung up. Piccolo sighed, knowing that this would be interesting, to say the least.

"Is it ok with her?" Iris asked, coming back into the living room.

"Yeah, she'll be here shortly." Piccolo smiled, though he felt a little ill.

"That's so nice of her, and on such short notice." Iris said, her tone brimming with admiration.

"She's a good kid." Piccolo said, looking out the window. How the hell could he pull this off?

"What's her name?" Iris asked, startling Piccolo.

"Oh, it's Sarah." He said, trying to look cool.

"I've always liked that name. If Noah had been a girl, that probably would have been one of my first choices."

"Mama, my hungee." Noah declared, stepping in the room.

"I know baby. What would you like to eat?" Iris asked, standing up.

"Umm… S'getti!" He cheered, grinning at Piccolo. "Mama makes da bes s'getti eber!"

"Really?" Piccolo said, grinning at Iris.

"No." Iris said, rolling her eyes. "He thinks everything is spaghetti, sometimes." She went into the kitchen, followed by Piccolo and Noah.

"Honey, you just had spaghetti. How about something else?"

"No, s'getti good." Noah said firmly, smiling charismatically.

"Ok, buddy, it's your stomach." Iris said, opening her refrigerator door. She came out with two Tupperware bowls filled with noodles and sauce. She got a bowl out and piled some noodles in it. She stuck it in the microwave and pushed in a minute on the clock.

"How did you get Sarah to eat vegetables?" Iris asked, searching through her fridge again. "This boy insists that vegetables are nasty, vile things that only the oppressed eat."

"Since I'm a dentist, I showed her diagrams of what her teeth would look like if she just ate sugar." Piccolo joked, making Iris chuckle.

"Nice. Using the old intimidation factor, eh?" She got out some celery and a cucumber. "Noah, will you eat some celery if I put peanut butter on it?" She asked her son, who nodded happily.

"Yup! My want a cumber, too!" He said, pointing to the cucumber in Iris's hand.

"Good. Why don't you show Mr. Damioh your room while I make this?" Noah grinned and grabbed Piccolo's hand, trying to drag him out of the kitchen.

"My woom is weally cool, Mistah Gween! It has 'piderman in it an' evewyting!" Piccolo smiled at Iris as she started to chop the cucumber. This kid really wasn't all that bad. In fact, he was actually really cute. Piccolo had never been the type of man who admitted when he thought something was sweet, but…

He looked at the small hand in his and smiled again. The boy's fingers curled and uncurled as he attempted to drag Piccolo around the house. After being taken up to the second story, the little boy giggled and stopped.

"Put ya hand ober ya eyes, so's ya can't see!" Piccolo did so, smirking. The way the kid spoke was extremely funny.

Noah took his hand and led him into a room, laughing with excitement.

"Tay, open 'em." Piccolo removed his hand and blinked in surprise. Everywhere he looked was Spiderman this, Spiderman that. The bed was completely dedicated to the crawling superhero, along with posters decking the walls, and action figures along the dresser.

"I take it Spiderman is your favorite hero?" Piccolo asked, feeling a bit like Captain Obvious. Noah grinned and nodded,

"My tousin Bobby likes him, so's I like him!" He said proudly, using his thumb to indicate himself. Piccolo grinned, amazed at the imitation little children would go to be like someone they admired.

"An dis is my car conection." He gestured to a large, clear container full of Hotwheels and the like. "My favorite one is dis!" He held up a miniature black Corvette with flames along the sides. "See? Da fire makes it go real fast!" Piccolo nodded, chuckling slightly.

"I have one of these, now. It probably doesn't go as fast as yours, though, because it has no flames to help it." Noah's blue eyes grew round as he stared at Piccolo.

"YOU have one of dese?" He asked in disbelief. Piccolo nodded and grinned.

"My brother talked me into it."

"You gots a BRODER too?" He was practically beside himself with smiles. "I want a broder real bad! Den I could play with him all da time!" He looked at his little car, putting it back in its place. "What your broder like? Him nice?" He asked, obviously forgetting the car.

"He's pretty nice, I guess. He looks just like me, for the most part. He's my twin. Do you know what that is?" Piccolo asked, receiving a negative shake of the head in response. "That means that when we were born, our mom had to give birth to us at the same time. Since twins share an egg in the mom's stomach, we turned out the same. Make any sense?"

Noah grinned and nodded. "You real smart, mistah gween."

"Thanks. You're pretty bright too, kid."

The sound of a doorbell met with Piccolo's ears, causing him to tense.

'_Showtime._'

Noah was already down the stairs, tripping over himself to open the door. "Who iiiis it?" He called, putting his hand on the doorknob.

"Here, let me get it." Piccolo grinned, opening the door. Sarah stood there, hugging herself to keep warm. "Kid, thanks for being here. There's something you got to know-"

"Piccolo, who is it?" Iris came in, smiling. "Oh, it's her, right? You're Sarah!"

"Pleased to meet you." The kid replied, walking past Piccolo. "I'm willing to help you out anytime, Ms. Taylor." She grinned as she shook the eye doctor's hand.

"Piccolo, you didn't say what a cute daughter you had!" Sarah stopped shaking Iris's hand and turned slowly to Piccolo.

"Yes, well! She um, gets all her looks form her mother. Except the blonde hair. That's from someone on my…side. Way back." Piccolo noticed that he was rambling, and that Sarah looked very miffed.

"Hey Pop, can I talk to you a minute?" She asked sweetly, though Piccolo could hear the deadly tone behind it.

"Sure. I'll be just a sec." Piccolo said to Iris, who nodded.

"I'm going to set Noah up, honey. He's just having some dinner now. Have you eaten?"

"Yes ma'am. Thank you." Sarah said distractedly, her eyes glued to Piccolo. Iris smiled and left, leaving the alleged father and daughter alone.

"What the FUCK were you thinking, you stupid ass! How long can you keep up this kind of farce! I'm not exactly a Goddamn dog or something, you know? She's going to find out! What in the HELL possessed you to say I'm your seed?"

"I panicked! I just had to make it work, and a kid seemed the best thing at the time…"

"Piccolo, how the hell do you think you can pull this off?"

"Very carefully?"

"Oh, and I suppose if things turn serious you'll tell her the truth."

"That's what I had in mind, yes."

"Piccolo, let me explain something to you. Women don't like being lied to. In fact, they HATE it. When she finds out, not only will she kill you, well… I suppose that's the worst she can do. But that's not my point! How could you do this? If you really like her, you should be honest and tell her the truth."

"I…I can't now! Please, just play along for a little while. I just can't do this by myself." Piccolo touched the girl's shoulder and looked her in the eyes. "Please?"

Sarah sighed and smacked his hand away. "We're talking a LONG ride in the Vette."

"Yes, thank you." Piccolo exhaled in relief.

"You still have to tell her, you know." Sarah said, frowning.

"I know, I will!" Piccolo assured her. Sarah still looked skeptical but shrugged it off.

"It's your funeral. Now, I'm going to go say hi to the kid. His name is what again?"

"Noah." Piccolo said, following her.

"That's SO cute, man. Did you see his darling little cheeks? And his sweet little hands? I love this kid already." The teenager looked pleased finally, and sent a silly smile to Piccolo.

'_She sure doesn't stay mad long.' _Piccolo thought, mentally raising a brow. They reached the dining area, where little Noah sat on a booster seat to reach the table. Iris stood up, beaming at the pair.

"I just explained to Noah that you were staying with him for a little while, honey. Thank you again, by the way."

"It's really no trouble. I'd probably just be home, brushing my teeth." She chuckled at her own joke. "Get it? He's a dentist, an- aw, never mind." Sarah waved it off. "No one understands genius."

Iris laughed out loud, making Sarah raise an eyebrow. "That _was_ funny! You just had that expression…" She giggled to herself a moment before regaining her composure. "I'm sorry. Piccolo, are you ready?"

Piccolo nodded and smiled, waving goodbye to the two younger people in front of him. "See you guys later."

"Sarah, don't let him talk you into letting him stay up late. He needs to be in bed by nine. And make sure he goes to the bathroom before. Thank you!" Iris leaned over and kissed her little boy on the head. "I'll miss you, big guy! Be good for Sarah, hmm?"

"Tay mama!" Noah say, giving mother a small kiss on the cheek.

Piccolo felt like Iris was watching him, and although he felt terribly paranoid for this, judging his behavior. So he reached over and patted Sarah's head, to give a sign of some affection.

"Bye old man." Sarah said in a guttural whisper.

"See you, kiddo." Piccolo said, waving. He ignored the dirty look the girl sent him as he and Iris went to the door.

"Oh yeah, let me get my coat really fast." Iris said, running off to a closet by the entrance. She retrieved a long black coat, which she tied at the waist with a little sash. "It's cold out there tonight!"

"Yes, it is." Piccolo agreed, opening the door for her. "But the car's warm."

Iris's eyes widened substantially at the new car in front of her. "What happened to your Lincoln?" She asked, still quite shocked.

"Eheh heh… Long story. I'll tell you in a little while." He unlocked the doors and opened the passenger side for his date. Iris gingerly got inside and exhaled in a whistle.

"Pretty sharp, Piccolo. Noah would love this." She said, looking at the consol. "His favorite car is the Corvette with the-"

"Flames. He showed me his collection. And, just in case this comes up later, I promised him he could drive it when we got back, so-" Piccolo grinned at the look on Iris's face. "I'm only joking. He can have a ride anytime, though."

"That's nice of you, Piccolo." She said, buckling her seatbelt as Piccolo drove out of the driveway and onto the street.

"He's a good kid." Piccolo grinned, setting the stick to 1st gear. "You've raised him really well."

"Thanks. It hasn't always been easy, but…" Iris looked out her window, exhaling softly. "It's been worth it."

Piccolo felt a pang of guilt come in his stomach right about then, and he wanted to tell Iris the truth right then. However, he couldn't face the look she would no doubt give him if she knew what really was happening. So, he continued driving.

The restaurant wasn't too far from Iris's house, so there wasn't too much time to talk on the way there. Piccolo inquired about Iris's day, feeling that the deeper conversations should be saved for later. Iris seemed to share this sentiment and lightly discussed topics, keeping gently aloof of things that might be considered personal if gone into detail. Piccolo respected that quality, glad that she wasn't so fast that she would readily tell him whatever he wanted to know about her. Her quiet reserve drew him closer to her, he discovered. It was odd that in the short drive to the Luna Azure, Piccolo thought he got a feel for Iris's normal life. The thought made him smile as he turned into the valet parking lot. Iris's eyes shone as she turned to Piccolo, smiling broadly.

"Piccolo, it's been so long since I could actually enjoy an evening out without having to worry if Noah is all right or not. Sarah seemed really responsible."

"Ah, she has her moments." Piccolo chuckled, putting the car in park as a young, eager looking valet jogged up, looking pleased.

"Sir, may I take your car to a parking spot?" He asked wistfully, getting a giggle from Iris. Piccolo nodded and stepped out of the car, striding over to the passenger side of the Corvette. He opened the door for Iris and extended an arm politely. Iris looked happily at the kind gesture and took Piccolo's arm, grinning ear to ear.

"And still a gentleman." She remarked quietly as they walked up to the glass front doors, which were opened for them quickly. Their coats were taken at the entrance, and Piccolo took his number and slipped it into his jacket pocket without any thought. He was still surprised he didn't have a panic attack yet.

As they strode up to the front desk, a young woman with ash blonde hair greeted them. She picked up two menus and held them out to Piccolo, smiling.

"Mr. Damioh, nice to see you. Let me take you and your lovely guest to your seats. Follow me, please." Iris looked impressed, which was what Piccolo was going for. He had actually found that the Luna Azure was his favorite place to eat, and figured that the familiar atmosphere would help ease his tension.

"Wow, I never get the time top come to a place like this very often. Noah kind of makes sure of that." Iris whispered, holding on to Piccolo's arm still. She released him when she noticed, blushing slightly. "And your arm is probably numb by now." She muttered apologetically.

"Not at all." Piccolo grinned, helping Iris to her seat when they reached their table.

"You're almost too polite, Piccolo Damioh." Iris said in mock suspicion, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm making up for everyone else." Piccolo joked, and was shocked to feel how at ease he felt now.

"Well, I'm thankful for that." She said as a waiter approached, looking down his long nose at the eye doctor.

"Good evening. My name is Jonathan and I will be serving you tonight. May I suggest you begin with a light blush this evening?"

"How's that sound to you?" Piccolo inquired of Iris, who smiled with some uncertainty.

"I really don't drink very much, so I couldn't tell you." She said, a faint blush tainting her nose and cheeks.

"Well, if we could get a sample, then." Piccolo advised the man, whose brows were raised in skepticism.

"Certainly." He said shortly, leaving the two diners alone. Piccolo shook his head, chuckling.

"That guy doesn't like anybody, supposedly. Please don't mind him."

Iris grinned and nodded, looking at her menu. "Wow. I have absolutely no idea what to order. Umm… How's the pasta here?" She asked, looking over her menu at Piccolo.

"It's pretty good, actually. If you like seafood, I'd recommend the snow crab or shrimp scampi." He added, feeling a bit like a coinsurer.

"I'll take your advice then." She said, her eyes still glancing over the list of foods. "What are you getting?" She asked him, looking over the desserts.

"I'm going to have the lobster, I think." Piccolo pondered, setting down his menu.

"Didn't take you long." Iris smiled, receiving a nod in return.

"I haven't had it in a while, so I figured I might as well get it now." Piccolo responded, looking across the small table at Iris.

The waiter from earlier returned, a look that said he'd like to be on a beach somewhere clearly etched on his face. He had brought two crystal glasses and a bottle of wine in an ice cooler bucket. He set a glass in front of Iris and Piccolo, and then carefully unscrewed the cork off the bottle, letting it make a slight _pop_. He expertly poured a small portion for Iris, and then one for Piccolo. Iris took a cautious drink, careful to sip it slowly. Piccolo watched for her expression, and took a sip himself. He found the taste very suitable, and hoped Iris did as well. She nodded her head and smiled at Piccolo.

"Could we have this kind? I rather like its taste."

"Sounds good to me." Piccolo nodded at Jonathan, who shrugged and took their menus.

"Would you care for an appetizer as well?"

"Please. Is calamari ok with you?" Piccolo asked Iris, who grinned and nodded.

"I would love some."

"Very well. Are you ready to order, or shall I give you more time?" He asked, his voice sounding like one big sigh.

"I think we're ready." Piccolo said, gesturing towards the eye doctor.

"I'll have the shrimp scampi, please." Iris said, smiling kindly at the waiter.

"Would you like a soup or salad to accompany it?"

"Garden salad with vinaigrette dressing, please." She replied.

"And you, sir?" Jonathan turned to Piccolo, speaking in a bored tone.

"I'll have the lobster platter, with the same salad as her." He said, smiling at Iris.

"Very well. I'll have the calamari out soon. Please enjoy the evening."

He left again, making Piccolo sigh in relief. "Is it just me, or does that guy make one uptight?"

"It's not just you." Iris laughed, and then took a small sip of wine. "I really like this wine. Usually I don't really care for it, but this-" She closed her eyes briefly and hook her head. "I probably sound like an alcoholic."

"No you don't. I think my brother is a border line alcoholic, and you are nothing like him." Piccolo chuckled, making Iris smile.

"Does he get along well with Sarah?" She asked him, her eyes curiously bright. Piccolo coughed lightly, wanting to choke himself.

"Yeah, they're really good pals. Nothing like my ex-wife, really." He let the last part slip by accident, and immediately regretted it. Iris looked concerned, though.

"How long ago was the divorce, if you don't mind me asking?" Iris prodded gently, making Piccolo shift in his chair slightly.

"Five months, now. Give or take a few weeks." He added, taking a long sip from his wine. "Feels like a lifetime ago."

Iris looked sympathetic as she too took a small sip of wine. "I've been single for almost three years now."

Piccolo's eyes opened wide. "But, that would mean-"

"It does. My husband left when I was about three months with Noah." She brushed some fingers through her hair, looking quietly distraught. "He had commitment issues. I wanted kids; he didn't. So, when news of Noah first came to him, he panicked. He first response was to abort him or set up for an adoption. But I couldn't imagine doing that to someone so innocent. After all, he didn't choose to be conceived, did he? I told Will that I was keeping the child, and he just couldn't handle it, I guess. It's odd how people change when faced with a challenge. Some for the better, some…" Her gaze was set on the table, but Piccolo knew she wasn't looking at it. Rather, her mind was staring at the past and wondering why. Piccolo knew exactly how she felt right then, and kicked himself for opening the door to the discussion in the first place.

"Iris, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to upset you." Piccolo softly apologized, making Iris chuckle.

"No, Piccolo. I needed to talk with someone about it. My sister just doesn't…understand. You've been through it, though. It sucks, doesn't it?" She laughed a short chuckle that seemed to resonate irony.

"It sucks." Piccolo agreed, glad that at least Iris was smiling again.

"Well, would you mind telling me about how you do with Sarah? She seems to be really happy, and I want Noah to grow up feeling complete."

"Iris, there is something I really should-"

"Good evening again. Here is your calamari you ordered, and some water if you need it!" A cheery voice broke in, belonging to a younger lad than Jonathan, and a much chipper one at that.

"Uh, thank you. Where did our other-"

"Jonathan? He's off duty now. My name is Jim and I'll be taking over for him. Is everything going all right for you tonight?"

"Yes, everything is fine."

"I'll have your salads out in just a second. Hold on, I'll go get them!" He practically jogged off, leaving Piccolo speechless.

"Well, quite a contrast, eh?"

"Very." Iris agreed, taking a sip of her water. "He seems nice, though. Now, what were you about to tell me?"

Piccolo took a deep breath and braced himself. "Iris, I needed to tell you-"

"Salad up!" Jim said cheerfully, serving them each their own salads while grinning largely. "Your orders are being made right now, so you enjoy your appetizer and salads!"

Piccolo nearly growled at the annoyingly chipper young man. He'd almost rather have depressed Jonathan than joyful Jim. Now, he found that he had lost the courage to tell Iris the truth. She was still looking at him in inquiry, but he grinned it off.

"How about you tell me about Noah? He seems like a really sharp kid."

-

Sarah sighed and looked the little boy in the eye, pointing to the bathroom. "Noah, you're mom said to send you to the potty before bed."

"I no needs ta go." He said, smirking slightly.

"Well, just humor me and try." The teenager said in agitation, quite worn out. "Please, for auntie Sarah?"

Noah seemed to ponder this and finally gave in, marching into the bright bathroom with an air of defiance.

"Remember to brush your teeth, too! And wash really good." Noah answered with a cheerful 'ok.'

"Finally." Sarah breathed as she whipped out her phone and dialed Nail's number. He picked up after a couple of rings, his voice sounding rather groggy.

"Hello? Who…is this?" He asked, his words slightly slurring together.

"Nail, it's Sarah. Where are you?" She asked, annoyed that he was obviously drunk.

"Where are you?" He asked, laughing obnoxiously.

"Ugh, nevermind. Look, Iris has a kid."

"…Like a goat?"

"No, you idiot! Like a child!"

"Holy shit!" Nail exclaimed, apparently more awake now. "When-how-shit!"

"Exactly. That's not the worst part, though."

"How could that not be the worst part?" Nail asked, sounding incredulous.

"Piccolo said I'm HIS kid."

"That stupid son of a bitch. I'll kick his ass…as soon as I can stand, that is." Nail added, sounding angry. "What the hell was he thinking?"

"Beats me. Ask when he gets home."

"Oh, he really fucked up this time." Nail muttered, hanging up. Sarah nodded and hung up as well, feeling hopeless.

'_What was he thinking?'_ She asked herself, shaking her head. The door opened and Noah came out, grinning.

"Tay, I'm ready for bed!" He said, grabbing onto Sarah's hand. He nodded without enthusiaism and took him to his room.

"I'm ready for a vacation, kid." She muttered as he hopped in bed, grabbing a bear as he did so.


	13. Chapter 13

Here's a holiday treat for you all. I've been in Germany these past few months (I'm still here), and I haven't been able to update like I should. However, something struck me last night. The Dentist has been up for about a year now, on the 18th. Well... This story means a lot to me. I've always seen potential in it, and well... I've just grown REAL partial to this fic. It has been the most popular one so far, reassuring me. I remember the fateful day I thought of this story... I myself had to visit my friendly dentist... When this story formed itself in my mind. What else could I do while I got a cavity filled? Anyway, here it is-

The Dentist, One Year Anniversary.

-

"Piccolo, you're spilling testosterone on my shirt. Step back a couple of steps, killer."

Piccolo, still seething, forced himself to sit down. "What do you mean, you called Nail? You know how he's going to act..."

"It can't be any worse than how you YOURSELF acted, genius. A kid, really... She's going to figure this one out quick, Piccolo. She's smart, unlike your stupid ass."

Piccolo didn't even reply to that comment; he knew that his diminutive friend was right.

Sarah glared at him before sighing and giving in to curiosity. "So, how did it go before you woke me up?"

Piccolo smiled a little and leaned back. "Well, the evening itself went really well. Everything went off without a hitch... She did like the theatre ... Thanks for the tip." Sarah briefly acknowledged the compliment with a nod of the head. Piccolo continued, smiling a little bigger. "The suspense genre was also a good idea. She was holding my arm the whole night, she was so scared... Well, not scared, just tense... She has a really strong grip for a woman..." Piccolo realized he was rambling and cleared his throat. "Of course, I think I did good myself... Except for that!" He growled when Sarah rolled her eyes. "You know what I meant."

"I know, Spock. I'm sorry, go on."

"Well, anyway, nothing ELSE went wrong... We came home, woke you up... By the way, did you HAVE to be reading Hannibal?"

"Hannibal shows extreme ass-kickery in the book department. You should read it."

"Yeah, well, after you gave me a damn black eye-"

"YOU woke me up by poking me. It was a reflex gesture. I said I was sorry, gees."

"Iris said that we should do something again some time." Piccolo finished, watching Sarah's twitching eye.

"She said WHAT? Ok, did she say 'some time' like 'SOME time', or like 'NEVER time?' "

"I would assume the first." Piccolo mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"You would. Well, then, we have to start planning how you are going to beg for forgive-"

"What?" Piccolo loosened his tie and tossed it aside. "What do you mean by that, exactly?"

"Piccolo, you CAN'T keep this up. If she finds out on her own, she will kill first, ask later. Women don't like to be lied to, you dipshit. And if you think I'm going to always be around-"

"I'm not stupid, kid! I KNOW I have to tell her. But I can't now, don't you see? If I tell her now, before she knows me, she's going to be gone forever!"

"Piccolo, just explain to her WHY you did it. You were scared, you panicked, you made a bad choice. But tell her the TRUTH."

Piccolo was about to reply when the front door banged open. A few seconds later Nail staggered in, looking like hell. His top shirt button was missing, as was most of the white from his eyes. He looked like he had run all the way from the bar.

He pointed at his brother, looking a bit crazy. "You!" Was all her said before running to the bathroom. The sounds of retching came a moment later, followed by the flush of the toilet. Sarah and Piccolo exchanged brief glances before Nail slumped back in, looking like he wanted to die.

"Never again..." He muttered, lying down on the couch. "Kid, be a sweetheart and bring me a glass of water..." He put his hands over his eyes and muttered as an afterthought- "And two Alka-Seltzer tablets. Please." Sarah shrugged and walked into the kitchen, leaving the brothers alone.

"I thought you gave up drinking like that." Piccolo finally said, making Nail wince.

"So did I. But when faced with Tequila shots... I can't resist. But I don't have the problem. This will all be gone," he gestured to his drunken body, "-tomorrow afternoon. You, on the other hand, have one big mess to sort out... It _won't_ go away by itself." His eyes bulged a moment before he ran to the bathroom again. Piccolo sighed and let his head rest in his hands. He knew, of course, that he would have to tell Iris. But maybe things would be okay for a little while.

Sarah came back a few moments later, carrying a small packet and a glass of water. She looked around briefly before setting the contents on the coffee table and heading towards the bathroom. She returned soon after, supporting Nail's large body with her own little frame. She helped him on the couch, and gave him the requested items.

'"Thanks...kid. You should head home now, it's late." He shook two white tablets out of the packet into the glass, and let it fizz for a while. "Don't let your mom worry about you."

"Ha, there's a good one... She doesn't get worried, she gets pissed. And besides, I'm 'spending the night' at my friend's house. So can I do anything else to help? I got time." The girl said, flopping down on the couch next to Piccolo.

"Except for beating the shit out of my brother, everything is covered." Nail murmured, letting his eyes close briefly. "Thanks."

Sarah nodded and turned to Piccolo, poking him in the stomach. "And what about you, Herr Zahnartz? Are _you_ going to be okay?"

Piccolo sighed and shrugged, standing up. "I guess so. When do you want it, by the way?" Sarah looked at him in puzzlement, scratching her head.

"Want what?"

"You SAID you wanted to drive the Corv-" Piccolo's last word was cut off as Sarah squeezed his middle in a crushing hug. Well, for her size it was crushing. Piccolo just stood there awkwardly, not sure how to react. Finally he patted the girl's head, hoping she would release his ribs from their current imprisonment.

"Thanks, Piccolo! Man, you're the best! Can we do it tomorrow? I gotta go to church on Sunday, and tomorrow afternoon is confession. Plus, Sunday evening is Christmas shopping! I'm going to get you something great!" She hopped up and down in a fit of hyperness. "You gotta get me and Nail stuff too, so don't forget, ok? Oh, now I'm too excited to sleep! I can't wait to tell Candace, heh. She'll be so jealous...oh wait. What ARE you doing for Christmas?" She stopped her little dance and seriously looked at Piccolo. "Just you and Nail this year?"

"It's looking that way." Piccolo muttered, trying to sound nonchalant. Sarah raised an eyebrow quizzically. She put her hands on her hips and took on an authoritative tone.

"Well, my family always has a party at my sister's house on Christmas eve... We can invite anyone. Would you like to come?"

Several pale-looking people flashed through Piccolo's mind, all holding rosaries in one hand and a beer in the other. All had blue eyes and blonde hair... Like Hitler's best dream or something.

"Kid, I'm not sure if-"

"Oh, PLEASE? I already told my mom you were gonna come."

"What! What are you thinking-"

Sarah put up a hand, admiring her nails. "Please, Piccolo. She thinks it's sad how you are divorced without children or family to celebrate with."

"What th' hell am I? The fuckin' dog or something?" Nail growled beneath closed eyes.

"You shut up. I mean a big family, that's all." Sarah spat, turning back to Piccolo. "I told her a little about you and how we kinda are friends now. She doesn't mind... She's used to me having weird pals. So please come? I know she already plans to make you a cake..."

"You always make your mother sound so evil-"

"Only to me, sometimes. Otherwise, she's freakin' Mother Theresa. So... will you?" Sarah looked hopefully into Piccolo's face, whimpering pitifully. "I'll be so sad if you don't..." She whined softly, making Piccolo growl in frustration.

"Fine, I'll go, okay! Just... Promise me your family... Well, they all aren't like, um..."

"Like me?"

"Yes." Sarah frowned and looked at the ground.

"You don't like me at all, Piccolo?" She sounded a little hurt, and Piccolo thought he saw a small tear when her eyes found his again.

"Kid, you know that's not true. It's just that ONE of you is enough. That's all." He patted her head like he would a small puppy. The words seemed to reassure Sarah, making her grin again.

"Ok, I'll give you the information later. I'll be back tomorrow, ok? Get some rest, and be good!" She skipped off, giving Nail a kind slap on the head before getting out of the door. When the rev of an engine started, Piccolo sighed and sat in his chair again.

"Nail, are you still awake?" Piccolo whispered, poking his brother in the arm.

"No, I'm talking in my sleep. What do you want?"

Piccolo sighed and shrugged. "Do you think I can work this out?" Nail finally opened his blood-shot eyes and looked at his brother.

"You want me to say yes." He yawned and scratched his ear. "But we what we want to hear, and what the truth is... Well, sometimes they are different things, Pic." He stood up on wobbly legs and drug himself upstairs, leaving Piccolo all by himself.

"Nail-" Piccolo began to call, but stopped when he heard the bedroom door shut. He sighed to himself and shook his head. 'At least I finally found a catalyst.' Was his last thought before he, too, went upstairs and to bed.

-

"Careful, you're going to strip the gears... Don't shift until you have the clutch-" the car made an annoying high pitched screech before it stopped again. Sarah grinned at Piccolo, chuckling nervously.

"I almost had it that time, Piccolo! Did you see it! Huh? We're almost to the end of the street!"

Piccolo looked out of his window and sighed. They were about three yards from his house. Sarah followed his gaze and shrugged, still grinning. "Well, THIS time I'm getting it." Piccolo said a silent prayer as Sarah re-started the engine, looking determined.

"Okay, now SLOWLY ease off the brake and push down the acceleration." Piccolo instructed, with Sarah nodding vigorously. "Good, now, ease on down the street...That's good, real good. Now, you hear the engine turning? Switch gears." Sarah took a deep breath and pushed the clutch in, shifting a moment later into second gear. Her face was exuberant when the car didn't stall and sputter.

"I did it, I did it!" She yelled, coasting down the street. "Where to now?"

Piccolo pointed to the right. "Turn here. There is a route to the country this way, so you can go a little fast-"

"WOOOOOHOOO!" Sarah yelled, switching into third gear and racing down to the end of the street. Piccolo grabbed his heart and held onto the edges of his seat.

"Not NOW, kid!" This time he took a deep breath and prayed out loud. "God, I know I don't deserve any favors, but if you could possibly let me live through this-"

"C'mon, Piccolo! I'm not _that_ bad." Sarah grinned, turning sharply at the corner.

"What are you doing?" Piccolo said, feeling like his heart was about to burst through his chest. "You can't take corners like that, you could wreck!"

"It was a two-way... It would've been their fault." She grinned and shifted to fourth gear. "Just try and relax, Piccolo. Everything will be fine." Piccolo wasn't reassured when the kid giggled insanely and pressed the gas harder.

-

The dentist slid into the hot water gingerly, hissing quietly as the liquid touched his skin. He settled himself in his bath and sighed, feeling relief in his muscles after a few still moments. The kid had kept him tensed up the entire trip, and now his back felt ready to snap, like an instrument's string that had been pulled too tight. He took a small breath and submerged his head under the steamy water, coming up a few moments later.

His head felt clearer now, and he felt like he could think.

'What have I gotten myself into...' He wondered, resting his elbows and forearms on the edge of the tub. 'The kid is right... I can't keep this up. Maybe I can stop this thing before it gets out of control completely.' He sighed and let his head drop back, staring at the wall behind him. 'But how?' Piccolo growled and rested his weight on his forearms again. 'How can I explain this _without_ sounding like a complete ass? 'Hey, Iris, I acted like a scared little bitch the other night, and said I had a kid. You can still take me seriously, right?' Ha, THAT will win her over. Maybe something a little more subtle...?'

The green man closed his eyes and sunk beneath the water. There he remained for a few moments, letting his mind relax a bit. He needed to sort out this mess, but not necessarily all at once... When he emerged from his state of non-thought, he gasped, looking at his brother.

Nail was sitting on the counter, holding a towel in front of him. "Hurry up and get dried, brother. We got places to go, things to buy." Piccolo glared at his brother and snatched the towel, wrapping it around himself.

"MUST you do that? It's called privacy..." Piccolo growled, walking to the door.

"Oh God help us. It's not like you're in prison with twenty-five other men. Get over it." Nail said dismissively. "Besides, it's three o'clock. We'll want to look around before the five o'clock rush starts."

"What do you mea-"

"Christmas shopping, Piccolo! Come on, we can talk about your dilemma there."

-

"What about this?" Nail said, holding up an X-box container. "The kid would love one of these things, right?"

"Nail, you idiot. You can't give her that."

Nail blinked and looked sad for a moment. "Aww, why not?"

Piccolo frowned and shrugged. "It's just weird when you give things like that to people you are related-" He stopped at Nail's 'nigger please' expression. "You KNOW what I mean."

"Yeah, yeah... So, what are you gonna get Iris?" Nail asked, switching subjects. Piccolo winced, hoping the subject wouldn't come up.

"I honestly...have no idea." He muttered, shoving his hands inside his pockets. Nail now was wearing the all-knowing, brotherly look that Piccolo hated so much.

"Aww, how sweet. Why not stay simple? Just buy like expensive perfume and roses or something... I dunno, it's always been ok when I've done it."

"Yeah... Hey, yeah! That sounds good. Not _too_ familiar, like 'let's have kids', but nice enough to say, 'I was thinking about you.'" Piccolo looked pleased with himself and nodded. Nail just rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Hey, whatever man. Look, I'm going to look for something for the kid again. You coming?"

'But _what_ do I get her?' He thought to himself, tapping his foot. He noticed what he was doing and grinned largely. "That's it! It's perfect!" Piccolo said out loud, receiving a few blank stares. "Um...Sorry, just got in the, er... Christmas spirit." He apologized quietly. He was surprised to see many approving looks; blushing, he headed off to the shoe department, Nail in tow.


	14. Chapter 14

Happy New Year! Frohes neues Jahr! I've already broken my resolution not to drink so much... So on with the chapter! Oh, and I don't own Bud Light, Samuel Adams, or Coors... Or Piccolo.

Special thanks to Daffodil, JS, Dbz Chicka, and my German friend... Danke schön!

-

"Now, you put your finger there... No, idiot, you're doing it wrong..." Nail threw the box at his brother, exasperated. "Damn it, haven't you ever wrapped a present before? You retard, you can't even get the bow on." Christmas was a mere three days away, and Piccolo was having trouble with wrapping presents after two and a half hours.

Piccolo growled and grabbed the box, shoving it at his brother. "Then YOU do it, Lord! I usually just had the stores wrap it... Or I bought a gift bag... Come on, it's SIMPLER that way!"

Nail rolled his eyes and mumbled something before nimbly wrapping the boy around the rectangular box. "Such a retardacon..."

Piccolo lifted a brow and shook his head in disbelief. "What did you call me?"

"Honestly, Piccolo... Haven't you ever seen Robot Chicken?" Nail tossed the finished present on the couch, and grabbed his present for the kid. "That show is funny as hell. Even you would like it."

"I doubt it," Piccolo said dryly, standing up. Nail scoffed and nodded.

"Me too. That would mean you had a sense of humor."

Piccolo's eye twitched for what must have been the third time in the past hour. He didn't reply, though. He merely walked out of the room, shaking his head.

Nail grinned, remembering how much this was like the good ol' days, back when they were kids... Just them, most of the time. Christmas was a nice time of year, simply because they got to spend time together, without attempting to murder each other. Nail sighed and leaned back on his elbows. He wished they had more relatives, sometimes. You had more people to talk to, so you didn't get overly-frustrated with one single person. But still, it was handy in times of weddings or funerals... not as many people to congratulate/ consol... Or consol/ congratulate, depending on the person. He himself had nearly been married several times. Each one had backfired in it's own special way.

However, he wasn't getting younger. The kid made him see that, fortunately. It kind of brought things into perspective for him. Nail realized that he wouldn't always be like he was now. Someday, he _would_ want a family of his own. A wife of his own. Someone to always care for, no matter what. But for now, he was content to merely help his brother, no matter HOW stupid he could be.

-

"Did you get me something?" Sarah asked, jumping up and down. Today Sarah had begged Piccolo to go shopping for Nail with her, since he 'knew him best'. Piccolo smiled at the hyper kid next to him and nodded slowly.

"Of course." He continued walking steadily, even though Sarah was practically jumping to his height, she was so excited.

"Pic, aren't ya gonna ask me if I got YOU something?" She asked, grinning mischievously. Piccolo shook his head negatively.

"Nope." He said, his tone remaining the same.

Sarah stopped her hopping and looked at Piccolo. "But...but EVERYONE wants _something_ for Christmas... Aren't you a little curious?"

Piccolo grinned and shook his head. "Nope. Nail already told me what you got me."

Sarah's mouth hung open and then closed. "That BASTARD! He said he wouldn't say a word, he PROMISED! Damn it, now it won't be good when you open it."

Piccolo chuckled and rested a hand on the close-to-tears teenager.

"I made a joke... I have no idea what you got me." He said quietly, making Sarah slowly turn towards him.

"Piccolo... I'm so PROUD of you!" She said, hugging Piccolo's waist. "THAT'S the Christmas spirit... Laughter and sarcasm... You are all grown up! I can't believe it!" She jumped up and down again. "Oh, you'll LOVE my gift!" Piccolo snorted and shook his head.

"Just as long as it's not tickets to 'The Pope on Ice' or something." Sarah stopped jumping around again.

"Why not? That would be the shit. Yeah, I mean THINK about it... The ending could be John Paul II shooting Britney Spears in the face, tying her to the back of the Pope-mobile, and doing donuts. It would be AWESOME! Then he could tie a Roman Candle to the hood of a KKK member and there would be a fire works display." She stopped her daydream, grinning sheepishly at Piccolo. "But uh, that's not what I got you."

Piccolo nodded in fear and muttered, "Thank God."

-

When Piccolo and Sarah returned from shopping, there was a car waiting in the driveway. Sarah had never seen it before, but Piccolo knew it all too well.

"Piccolo, who's-"

"I think you should go home." Piccolo said quietly, stopping the car. "You can come by later, but for now... run on home." His tone was quiet and not playful, not mad, just blank. Sarah nodded silently and got out of the car, walking to her own. She got in and was down the street in a flash, leaving Piccolo alone in the car. He took a deep breath and got out, bracing himself. It had been a while since he had seen her... He hoped she hadn't changed too much. But divorces did strange things to people.

Piccolo walked up his drive to his front door, and listened to nothing. Every sound was dampered by the snow on the ground. He knew he couldn't just stand outside like a coward all day, and opened the door. The sound of voices reached his ears the instant he walked in. The fact that they sounded friendly enough reassured Piccolo, slightly. Still, he was a bit nervous.

He walked past the entry hall into the living room, where the sight of Nail and an older woman met his eyes.

She was a long, thin woman of about fifty-five, with slightly-graying black hair and milky skin. Her eyes looked just as friendly as the day Piccolo had met her, with slight wrinkles around the corners from smiling so much. She stood up slowly and held out her arms.

"Hello, Piccolo. Long time, no see." Piccolo met the woman in a warm hug, although she only reached his chest. She smiled up at him and the dentist detected tears forming in the her eyes.

"Hello, Eve." Piccolo smiled back, although his smile was somewhat restrained. "Too long."

Nail stood up and scratched his ear awkwardly. "Well, I have some stuff to take care of... I'll be back later. I have my cell if you need anything." He received a quick hug from the woman, then left.

The seconds of the clock ticked by, making the silence recognizable. The woman Piccolo had called Eve cleared her throat, waking the emerald man from his thoughts.

"Um, please... Have a seat." He himself went into the kitchen, turning the coffee machine on. He came back a moment later, smiling the same small smile. "This is a pleasant surprise." He stated, unsure of what to make of the visit. Eve nodded and patted his knee.

"It really has been a while... But you know... Well, Piccolo, you can tell me. How has it been for you? I know my daughter was to blame, but I feel responsible... Somehow. She was always so hard to control..."

"Eve-"

"Mom."

Piccolo cleared his throat and nodded. "Mom... don't worry. I'm doing ok now. At first it was hard, but..." He smiled and shrugged a little, rubbing the back of his neck afterwards. "Well, I mean to say that-"

Eve smiled largely and took Piccolo's hands in her own. "Oh, Piccy, you found someone?"

Piccolo grinned sheepishly and nodded absent-mindedly. "I think so. She's...well, she's a lot different than Lila."

Eves smile drooped slightly. "Piccolo... This whole thing has been unfair-"

Piccolo waved off the upcoming apology. "It wasn't your fault. Really, I'm ok now. How are things at home for _you_?"

Eve shrugged and smiled, though it looked forced. "Well, ever since Rick died, things have been a little crazy, you know... Everything is a lot quieter. What with him AND you not there..." Eve was referring to the amount of time Piccolo had spent with his father-in-law. They had also gotten along really well, even though Rick was Lila's step-father. Piccolo felt a pang of guilt now, not visiting his ex-mother-in-law. She had always been kind to him, but after the divorce... He couldn't bring himself to face her. She just looked so much like her daughter...

"-But it's not like he's coming back. What I wanted to say is, please come and... well, just visit with me. I really have missed you, Piccolo. You were the perfect son-in-law. More like a real son, actually. And I have been feeling so terrible these past few months, thinking of how hard it must be for you."

Piccolo smiled sadly. "Well, nothing lasts forever. Including the bad things." He patted Eve's knee and stood up. "You still take two sugars, right?"

-

"Piccolo, turn here." Sarah said, pointing to her right. Piccolo nodded and smoothly coasted to the pointed direction. He had been silent for most of the trip, thinking about the visit a couple of days ago. Seeing Eve again had reminded him that not everything that had to do with his past marriage was a complete waste. Eve had been like a mother to him, for the years he and Lila were married. The similarities between mother and daughter ended with their looks. Eve was much more calm and quiet than her offspring...

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Sarah asked suddenly, staring at the large green man. "You have barely said three words this whole time. You don't even look nervous." The kid looked out her window again. "It's about that car in the driveway, isn't it? Who was that?"

Piccolo gripped the steering wheel and focused on the winding road. "And old friend."

Sarah raised her eyebrows but said nothing, noting that this was not the time or place to push the dentist.

Some ten minutes later they arrived at the correct house, which was obvious to anyone. Ten or more cars surrounded the large property, making Piccolo wince inwardly. 'Lot of people...'

"Hey, HEY, Piccolo, there's a spot." Sarah said, pointing to an area free of automobiles. "Park there and let's go in."

Piccolo did as she asked and looked in the mirror a moment later. He looked normal enough. Not pale or anything...

"Ok, and remember: Don't laugh at Pop's jokes, decline any already-opened beverage from my brothers, and tell my mom you're catholic, if she asks. Um..." Sarah straightened Piccolo's tie and smiled. "I think we're gonna be ok," she said, doing the thumbs up. Piccolo nodded slowly and took a deep breath.

"I hope so."

A moment later found the pair at the front door, waiting. "Well, push the bell already." Piccolo whispered, watching as Sarah ran a hand over her hair.

"Yeah yeah, how's my hair?" She whispered back, looking peeved.

"Like it always is." Piccolo hissed, pushing the door bell.

"At least I HAVE-" She stopped in mid-sentence as a woman in her fifties opened the door, looking extrememly annoyed.

"You're late." She said to the girl, tapping her foot. "And you didn't wear the dress I told you to wear." Piccolo looked to the side, not wanting to get involved. The woman caught sight of Piccolo and pushed Sarah aside slightly.

"Hi, I'm Mary Jane, Sarah's mom. You must be Piccolo." She shook Piccolo's hand and turned back to her daughter. "I mean, you are still in JEANS, for goodness sake! And you didn't comb your hair to a more manageable-"

"Mom." Sarah said, raising a brow. "You said we weren't going to mass afterwards, and I didn't need to dress up."

The older woman growled and threw up her hands. "Ugh, no one listens! I said, clearly, WEAR something nice, you ARE going to midnight mass."

"Did NOT! Ugh, look. Jill was with me, and we both know you said-"

"I'm not celebrating Christmas this year! I'm going to go visit Grann." The mother said, pushing past her daughter. "And have a good time, Mr. Damioh." She smiled and waved at Piccolo, glowered at her daughter, then stalked to a white Buick and got in. She left the property a moment later. Sarah just shrugged and smiled at the disturbed Piccolo.

"She says that every year."

-

"-And the blonde one with the blue tie is Tom. That's it for the brothers." Sarah whispered, finishing telling Piccolo how to tell which sibling from which. "Now, on to my sisters-"

"Wait, who's THAT guy?" Piccolo asked quietly, motioning his head towards a bored-looking young man with black hair and a slight beard.

"That's Trev, Jo's friend. He's also not family, obviously. Now, I haven't seen Pop yet..."

"I'm right here, kiddo!" A deep but friendly voice said, startling Piccolo.

"Pop!" Sarah said, hopping into a big hug with the large, blonde man. His eyes were a light blue color, unlike his daughter's. They just looked clear, without all the various hues and shapes Sarah's had.

"You behaving yourself?" The man asked, setting the girl down. Sarah grinned and nodded.

"Yes sir!"

"Good work, my soldier." The man patted Sarah's head before extending a hand towards Piccolo. "And you must be-"

"Piccolo Damioh...the dentist." Piccolo smiled, taking the man's hand in his own large green one. He liked this guy for some reason. Maybe it was because he hadn't stopped smiling since Piccolo had seen him.

"Well, welcome Piccolo! I hope you have a good time. I'm Richard, by the way. But Rich is fine. Only my wife calls my Richard... when she's mad."

"So always?" Sarah said sweetly, receiving a playful poke from her father.

"If you had children like your brothers, wouldn't you be miffed a lot?" Richard said, winking at Piccolo. "Not to mention one like you young lady. Where do you think these gray hairs came from?" He gestured to the hair along his temples, though he was still smiling. "I'm going to go say hello to the kids. They expect you to do the same." He said to Sarah, patting her on the head once more before he left. Sarah grinned at Piccolo and gestured for him to walk with her.

"I'm thirsty. Do you want something to drink too?"

"Sure." Piccolo said, feeling that every blue eye was on him as they walked towards the kitchen.

Sarah opened the fridge and observed its contents. "Ok, we have Coors, Bud Light, Samuel Adams-"

"Anything non-alcoholic?"

Sarah just looked at Piccolo from behind the fridge door. "Piccolo, we're IRISH. Wrong question."

"Hey short stack, pass me a Sam, eh?" A tall man, but not quite as tall as Piccolo, grinned at the dentist. He held out his hand to the green man, who took it a moment later. "Hey there. I'm Dan, Sarah's eldest brother. You're Dr. Damioh, right?"

Before Piccolo could reply, a blonde woman in her early thirties walked up, snatching the beer out of Sarah's hand before she gave it to her brother.

"Daniel! I have already had something to drink. YOU have to drive, tonight." She glared at the man once more before turning to Piccolo. "Hello, I'm Jennifer. You're the dentist, right?"

"Yes, that's me, Piccolo Damioh." Piccolo shook her hand. A moment later she was glowering at Dan again.

"You can have ONE beer, but that is for the entire night. ONE." She held up a finger to illustrate her point, then walked out. Sarah's eyes were half closed as she held up the controversial drink.

"Do you even WANT it now?"

Dan snorted and shook his head. "It's ruined now. Give it to him." He said, gesturing to Piccolo. Sarah tossed the bottle to Piccolo, who caught it with uncertainty. Sarah's brother looked at the man seriously and said, 'Being married sucks." And walked out of the kitchen, leaving Sarah and Piccolo alone.

"Words of wisdom." Sarah lamented, getting a cola for herself. "No use talking to him the rest of the night. He'll only be edgy." She opened her cola and took a sip. Piccolo frowned at her, shaking his head slightly.

"That stuff rots your teeth."

"So? I'll have an excuse to come bug you some more." Sarah grinned at her green friend, tugging on his sleeve. "Come on, I wanna see Hannah." But before they got too far, a reddish-blonde girl stepped in front of them.

"Sarah."

"Jo Anna."

"You made Mom upset."

"YOU make ME upset."

"Real witty. I see you didn't bother dressing up."

"Bugger off, Jo. I'm not in the mood."

"Excuse me? Where is your holiday love, Sarah? Real Christian behavior."

"You're right, I'm sorry." Sarah said, making her sister smile triumphantly. "...PLEASE bugger off, and may the light of Christ be with you, you tosser." Sarah happily strode past the young lady and grinned at Piccolo, gesturing for him to come with her. "Let's blow this pop stand." She said, with a backwards, sly look at her sister. Piccolo just stared straight ahead, taking a drink from his beer.

He thought HE had it bad.

-

"...And the tall, skinny little punk over there is Zach. He's only two years younger than me." Sarah whispered, pointing to a boy playing video games. "That's it for my nephews, and as for my nieces-"

"Sa-sa!" A little red, curly-haired girl took a grip on the teen's legs, grinning mischievously up at Sarah. "Waachu doin', Sa-Sa?"

"Nothin', sugar bear! Just talking to Mr. Damioh."

"Mista Oh-hi-o?"

Piccolo smiled and shrugged. "Close enough." Sarah grinned and mouthed 'I'll be right back.' Piccolo nodded, watching the girl slip out of the room. Then the dentist sat on his heels and looked at the little child in front of him face-to-face. "And you are?"

The girl giggled and touched Piccolo's ears. "Hannah!"

"Well, Hannah, nice to meet you." Piccolo held out a hand to the little girl, who tried to shake it with her own tiny one.

"Ice to eat du too." Hannah giggled, giving Piccolo a kiss on the nose. "Du ice, Mista Oh-hi-o. Want see mah pretty?" She asked, running away. Piccolo just blinked and inwardly said 'pretty'. He had no idea what the girl meant. However, she came back a moment later, holding a large beaded necklace. "Dis mah pretty!" She said, handing it to Piccolo. "Puts it on!" She said, hopping up and down. Piccolo looked at her, smiling.

"Uh, I think it would look much prettier on you." He said, handing it back. Hannah giggled and threw the bright jewellery on, smiling like the sun.

"Yup, boys yook silly wit dis." She said, proudly displaying the necklace on herself. Piccolo chuckled and nodded.

"Yes, boy look silly with that." He stood up again, looking around. The kid still wasn't there.

"Uh, uh!" Hannah said, catching the attention of Piccolo. He looked to his legs, where Hannah was tugged on. "Ick me up!" She said, hitting the dentist's legs softly. "Ick me up!"

Piccolo raised a brow, smiling. "Pick you up?" He said, making Hannah nod.

"Is wat me said!"

Sarah emerged a moment later, finding Hannah hitting her friend and demanding to be picked up.

"Hey, little missy! What are you doing to my friend? Be sweet."

Hannah smiled toothily. "Tay. Me wants up, pwease." Sarah laughed and nodded to Piccolo.

"Just humor her." Piccolo raised a brow again and sighed, smiling.

"Ok, up we go." He said, hoisting the little girl up. Hannah giggled and looked around the room, wide-eyed.

"You's BIG, Mista Oh-hi-o." Sarah laughed and took the little girl from Piccolo unsure arms.

"Hannah, go play. Me and Mister DA-mioh are going to go talk to the grown-ups." Hannah frowned and shook her head.

"Why come? Dey bo-wing." Sarah chuckled and patted her niece's head.

"Because, Mama Jane said Auntie Sa-Sa has to be good, and conform to the strict standards set by society."

Hannah nodded blankly, running off to play a moment later. Piccolo frowned at Sarah, who laughed nervously and scratched her head. "Well, it's the truth. I don't believe in lying to kids!"

-

After meeting the rest of Sarah's family, Piccolo felt tired and bewildered. He had never met so many odd people in one place before. Sarah took him outside, where he could rest for a little while before going home.

The backyard was not what it should have been. It was merely a forest fifteen yards from the house. It had a cushioned bench by the walls, though, allowing Piccolo to catch his breath.

"So... NOW you see what I mean when I say you have it easy?" Sarah asked, her feet dangling high off the ground, as usual. Piccolo nodded and sighed.

"Man, how do you DO it? Nail is enough for me... But SIX brothers and sisters..."

"Yeah, well... I have the little kids to distract me from killing them." She smiled and looked up at the night sky. "Hannah's a doll, huh? She doesn't like everybody, you know. In fact, I think she doesn't like Jo Anna."

"Speaking of, what IS it with you two?" Piccolo asked suddenly. "You seem to hate each other."

"Not hate... I just didn't ask for her to be my sister, that's all." She shrugged and leaned back. "Don't worry about it. Besides, I get along really well with Jill and Seth-"

The door opened, making Sarah pause. A large man with a beard and a hat on stepped outside, sighing. He caught sight of the pair and walked over.

"Hey. Crazy as hell in there, eh Sa-Sa?"

Sarah grinned and nodded, shaking the man's hand. "Hey, Gus. This is my friend Piccolo."

Gus grinned and shook the dentist's hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Jill's husband." He nodded back towards the house. "Man... Must be hard for a first-timer." He reached inside his shirt pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out and stuck it in his mouth. His eyebrows raised as he offered the pack to Piccolo.

"You need one?" He asked, making Sarah laugh.

"Sure he needs one, but he doesn't smoke." Gus nodded and stuck the pack back in. Sarah took on a more serious tone a moment later. "And I thought you were quitting."

Gus lit the cigarette and let it sit in his mouth for a moment. "I've quit like ten times." He mumbled, taking a drag. "Besides, I'm down to half a pack a day, now. Damn patch and all... The steps, or whatever the hell they call it." He tapped the end of the fag and sighed. "You know how much your family stresses a man out, Sarah."

Sarah grinned and clapped her brother-in-law on the back. "I know all too well, Gus, my boy."

-

Dinner time was actually very relaxed. A key factor was no doubt the alcohol that had been circulating the veins of most of the guests. Piccolo himself was actually comfortable now, seated next to Sarah's favorite brother, Seth. The man was very laid back and had a humor of the same nature. His greyish-blue eyes weren't unfriendly to Piccolo, who had taken a liking to the cool man.

"Sarah, would you please act like a host and ask your guest if he would like something to drink?" Jo Anna asked in a sugary-sweet tone. However, Piccolo suspected that to the kid, it sounded more like Splenda than actual sugar.

"I'm fine, really." Piccolo said, not wanting any conflict to begin.

"Why don't you ask him yourself, instead of referring to him like he's deaf and can't hear the request?"

"It's ok, real-"

"Why don't YOU quit acting like a immature BRAT for once, and quit trying to fight?"

"What the hell? You started it, damn you!" Sarah said heatedly, making her father frown.

"No swearing at the table."

"Natürlich, es ist immer MEINE Schuld!" Jo Anna replied, looked satisfied.

"Hey, no talking in German at the table." Richard said, looking nervous. "Huh, I've never had to make THAT rule before."

"Es IST immer deine Schuld, du verdammte Kuh!" Sarah yelled, making Jill stand up and take authority.

"NO SWEARING IN GODDAMN GERMAN, VERSTEHT IHR!" Sarah and Jo Anna nodded. A moment later the talking resumed to normal. However, Jo Anna mouthed something to her sister, at which Sarah gestured, with her thumb extended, the action of slitting her throat.

Piccolo looked to Seth, who laughed and clapped the dentist on the back. "You are so lucky you have only one brother."

-

Later, when Piccolo was getting ready to go home, Sarah dragged him off to the side.

"Piccolo? You know why I brought you here, right?"

Piccolo blinked and shook his head negatively. "I thought you just brought me here because you wanted to."

Sarah grinned and patted Piccolo's back. "I wanted you to see something. During the course of the night, you've had to see what MY family is like. It's loud, it's hectic, it's usually annoying..."

Piccolo blinked again. "I still don't see why-"

"Piccolo, I just wanted you to see that everyone has problems. My family is one big walking satire. My brother Dan, Gus, Jen... They are all in their second marriage. Jo Anna and I- We're like you and Nail. We appear to hate each other, but deep down... Well, we're family. You see? It's not just you. I mean, I know everything seems strange. You are starting to date again and all... Just know that everybody does it, and it's perfectly normal... Please don't be sad. Nail suggested this to me, because he was under the impression that you...Well, that you were still brooding over Lila." Sarah paused and smiled, patting Piccolo's shoulder. "We just want you to be happy, and know you are never alone in this."

Piccolo stood there, thinking over what the kid had said. She was right, in her own crazy way. Everyone he had encountered tonight... She had planned it. It was touching, the trouble she had gone through to make him understand... That his pain, his new trials... He was never in them by himself. The dentist looked down at the smiling kid and nodded.

"Thanks..."

Sarah grinned larger and shrugged. "Hey, what are friends for?" She giggled and left the room, coming back a moment later. Her arms were behind her back, and her face looked ready to break, she was smiling so big.

"Here." She whipped out a wrapped box and handed it to Piccolo. "This is for you. You have to open it tomorrow, ok? Merry Christmas, Piccolo."

Piccolo took the gift and grinned. "Mine is in the car. Hold on, I'll be right back."

Sarah grinned and waited, laughing when Piccolo came back with a crappily-wrapped gift, and a perfectly wrapped one.

"This one-" he handed the nice one to her first, "-is from Nail. Merry Christmas from him. And this-" he gave her the ugly one, smiling sheepishly, "-is from me. Sorry about the paper, I-"

His sentence was cut short as Sarah hugged him tightly. "Thanks, Piccolo... I love it even more, because I know YOU did it. That was really nice of you." She looked at the gifts she had set down and smiled. "Huh. I can't believe I have to wait until tomorrow."

Piccolo patted her head and chuckled. "Believe it, kid." He walked to the door and smiled over his shoulder at his young friend. "And thanks. You know..." He opened the door and stepped outside. "...For everything."

-

Hehe, I rule. I spent my valuable morning writing to get this done. I hope it was amusing for you all. Happy New Year, once again. I love hearing from you all.

-Ace

Oh, the German up there was simple crap like, 'it's always my fault, huh?' To which Sarah replied, 'It IS always your fault you damn cow!' And the last sister just said, 'Do you all understand?' Woot!


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks again for the reviews, everyone. Und ich möchte gern dir bedanken, Tina. Das war sehr nett von dir. Ich frohe mich, das du kannst alles gut verstehen. Wirklich, gut gemacht!

Oh, and everyone... I just came back from Ladies Night at the disco... Which means five free drinks of your choice. Just letting you all know, I didn't get a cola... Enjoy, kids.

-

Christmas. This year was completely different than the last ones he had celebrated. For one, he was alone when he woke up. The dentist looked to the empty side of the bed and almost reached a hand out to feel the cold sheets, reassuring himself that he was alone. But of course, that was pointless. He was alone, and had been for a while. It was time he moved on. However, the green man found it always harder to DO what he merely wanted to do.

Piccolo sighed and let his eyes close again, picturing the way things were, before everything went so horribly wrong.

-

_Lile smiled and hugged Piccolo's arm, the other one of which was being used to hold boxes with gifts inside. "Piccolo? Are you sure you want to come here today? I mean, we could just stay home..."_

_"Nonsense." Piccolo grinned, bending his knees slightly to give his wife a quick kiss on the cheek. "You know I like it here."_

_Lila nodded and pushed the doorbell of the large house. A few moments later the door opened, revealing an older, strong-looking man with silver hair and cheery eyes._

_"Lila...Drills! Come on in, you two must be freezing." Piccolo grinned and stepped in, followed by his spouse. His father-in-law always called him 'Drills'... It was almost a pet name._

_"Merry Christmas, Daddy." Lila said, giving her father a hug. Piccolo put the presents down on the entry hall table before he did the same. _

_"Good to see you, Dad." Piccolo grinned, clapping his father-in-law on the shoulder._

_"Drills, same goes for you. Merry Christmas, my boy." _

_"Rick? Is that them?" A voice called from what sounded like the kitchen._

_"Yes, honey! Come on in here, the food won't run away if you leave it alone." Rick called back, winking at his son-in-law._

_"Piccolo!" Eve said, running into the dentist's arms. "Oh, goodness. Are you hungry? You look a little thin... It's Lila's cooking, isn't it? Oh, I hope you aren't half starved-"_

_"No no, it's fine, really." Piccolo grinned._

_"Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too, Mom." Lila pouted, making her father chuckle._

_"Li-li, don't be sour. Your mom just worries about Drills." Rick slapped Piccolo on the back in a fatherly way. "But wait until you see what Santa brought me. I can safely say I'll be good for a long time. Come on, let's go break 'er in." Piccolo looked to Eve, who nodded and smiled._

_"The food needs about forty minutes, anyway."_

_The older man grinned and steered Piccolo out of the hallway and to the door leading to the basement. He smirked and pointed at the door knob._

_"Go on in."_

_Piccolo opened the door, flicking on the light as he did so. The pair made their way dowstairs, Rick asking various questions about Piccolo's profession, while the dentist gladly responded. When they finally reached the bottom level, Piccolo shook his head in disbelief._

_"Lucky... I would kill for one of these babies."_

_The dentist grinned at the large pool table before him, admiring the new felt and shiny wood that covered it. Rick chuckled and walked to the wall, pulling down two pool sticks._

_"Well, how about we try this girl out?"_

_Piccolo grinned and took the stick. "Sure, if you don't mind loosing your first game with it." Rick snorted and shook his son-in-law's hand._

_"You're on, Drills." _

_After the table was set up and the break was made, Piccolo decided now would be the perfect time to talk to Rick alone, before Lila came down._

_"Dad?" Piccolo walked over to the side of the table where Rick was, setting his glass of scotch down gently. "Can I ask you something...personal?"_

_Rick looked over his shoulder and whispered, "If I say yes, will you not tell Eve I'm smoking?" He already had a cigarette in his hand, and a lighter in the other. "I'm trying to quit... But it's Christmas! I shouldn't have to stress today." He lit it and smiled, waving his hand at Piccolo. "Shoot. What's on your mind, kiddo?"_

_Piccolo took a breath and leaned against the wall. "Well, I was just wondering if you...Well, if you always knew that you wouldn't have any kids with Eve. I mean, I know you have been around Lila longer than her biological father...But you know what I mean. How did you know that...you didn't want-"_

_"Piccolo." Rick put his stick down slowly on the table and took the cigarette of of his mouth. "No one can tell you what's right for YOUR family. For Eve and me... We just felt like one child was enough for us. I mean, Lila was a challenge sometimes. It was just something we both agreed on... And that's what makes a marriage tic. You see, Eve and I... We both wanted more kids, in the beginning. But, we learned -together- that this was what we were suited for... A one-child family. We talked about it a lot... Communication. We never held anything back. And I don't have any regrets. We've gotten to live in peace and quiet since Lila went to college... We never needed a babysitter after she was old enough... We got to spend ours years on ourselves. After what Eve has gone through with that schmuck of a husband..." Rick sighed, smiling sadly. "She deserved the time."_

_Piccolo nodded and turned away slowly. "Thanks. I just... I don't know, it's all kind of scary,isn't it?" He turned around to face Rick again, only to find him grinning largely._

_"Drills...that's the best part."_

_"The best part of what?" Came a young voice, penetrating the men's conversation._

_"Nothing, sweetheart." Rick winked at Piccolo. "Is the food already finished?" _

_"Almost. Mom wants you to help her cut the turkey real quick." Lila smiled and put her hands on her hips. "And she means now, not after you finish your cigarette." Rick groaned and put the little stick in a nearby ashtray. _

_"Well, I'm caught. You two will be up in a minute, I suppose?" He grinned at Piccolo and headed back up the steps, whistling._

_Lila put her arms around Piccolo's neck and nuzzled her nose into his neck. "So what were you guys talking about?" She asked playfully, looking her husband straight in the eyes._

_Piccolo stared right back and smiled, showing his shiny canines just a fraction. "Just about the future." He kissed Lila on the nose, making her giggle softly._

_"Really? Nothing more?" She brought Piccolo's face slightly closer to her own, smirking roguishly._

_"Nothing more? What is more important than the future?" Piccolo asked, but was silenced a second later by his wife's soft lips._

_Moments passed until finally the pair broke apart. Lila smiled up at her spouse and said huskily, "The present."_

_-_

Nail slapped Piccolo's head, waking the dentist from his dream.

"Piccolo, wake UP! It's Christmas, man! Come on, I wanna see my presents." Nail ripped off the covers from Piccolo's prone form, making the large man shiver.

"Damn it, Nail... What are you, five?"

Nail gave his brother a noogie and grinned. "Everyone loves today. Get your ass up and get dressed. I want to open presents and then eat."

Piccolo smiled involuntarily and sat up. "Ok, give me a minute, will ya?"

Nail jumped to the ground and smirked. "Sure. Just don't worry about putting on your make-up and fixing your hair. I'M making breakfast."

Piccolo's skin turned a slightly paler hue as he got out of bed. "O-Okay..."

-

Nail and Piccolo sat in the living room, looking at the colored packages that laid around. "Ok ok, me first. I wanna see what the kid got me." Nail said, grabbing the box addressed to him. He snatched off the card and read it silently, nodding his head afterwards. "Aw, that's sweet." He said, handing it to Piccolo, who read it as his brother ripped off the package's paper.

_'Dear Nail,_

_I hope Christmas is full of blessings for you and Piccolo. I myself feel happy, because I have been blessed with two such wonderful friends... Even if they are a bit crazy. Stay well, and Merry Christmas._

_Love, Sarah'_

Piccolo smiled and looked back at his brother, who was staring in shock at his gift.

"This...is AWESOME." He said in wonder, looking at the enormous beer mug in his hand. It was made like the old legs that one would see in movies, with the metal top to keep precious beer from spilling out the top. And on the handle were the initials 'N.D.' Nail's lip quivered as he looked at his new drinking aid. "I... I'm just so happy." He said, his voice cracking like a 'Miss America' beauty contest winner.

Piccolo raised a brow, smiling. "Wow, bro. I bet you could fit more than two bottles worth of beer in that thing." Nail nodded, hugging the mug tightly.

"I know, it's like a dream come true!" He gave the mug a kiss before setting it aside and picking up Piccolo's gift. He shook it and smiled skeptically. "I don't know, Pic. It seems a little odd to me."

Piccolo shrugged lazily. "Then don't open it."

"Hey hey, I didn't say I didn't want it!" Nail ripped open the paper, screaming with glee a moment later. "The Lord is GOOD! Piccolo, I love you! You got me the Naked NAKED Gun movie set, the best porn EVER... What's this, CUBAN CIGARS! Oh, I love you, you handsome son of a bitch." Nail kissed his brother on the cheek, making the dentist wipe it a second later.

"Well, I couldn't think of anything that would make you more happy, so-"

"Piccolo, I love it. You are the best. Hey, watch this: I'm going to smoke ALL these cigars before today is over."

"Nail, I didn't really have that in-"

But it was too late; Nail already had a cigar clipped and lit, stuck in the corner of his grinning mouth. "This is what Christmas is all about." Nail said, blowing a puff of smoke. "Cigars and tits..." Piccolo twitched and plucked the cigar from Nail's grinning orifice.

"You know I don't like smoking in the house."

"Piccy, I only smoke when I'm drunk and sad." Nail whined, pleaded with his brother. "...And when I get bad-ass presents from my favorite-"

"-And only-"

"Brother." Nail made a shoo-ing gestures to the dentist. "Now, go get me an ashtray, hmm?"

"Get it yourself, I still have to open MY presents." Piccolo said, picking up the one from the kid.

He took off the card and looked at Nail briefly before opening it.

'_Dear Piccolo,_

_I know this time has been hard for you... What with Lila, and work, and Nail... But I wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you, and your happiness. Your brother and I love you, Piccolo Damioh. We'll always be good friends... until you go crazy and kill your patients, ending up in jail with a fat biker named T-Bone and a transvestite called Sally. But... I see that as a long way off, so don't worry. Praying for you always, _

_Your best pal/ patient- Sarah_

_P.S._

_Don't drop the soap.'_

Piccolo's eyes were only half lidded as he read the last few lines of the card. He hated to admit it, but...he did think it was funny. In a sick, warped, dry way... It was funny.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Open the damn thing already!" Nail pushed, pointing at the gift. Piccolo looked down at the package and nodded. He opened the wrapping carefully, making Nail roll his eyes.

"Piccolo, please act like a man and RIP the friggin' paper off."

Piccolo glared at Nail but obliged, ripping off the remainder of the wrapping. His fingers enclosed around the box, feeling it's weight. He opened the package and looked inside, immediately spotting something red and lacy. He grunted and pulled out a womanish-man thong, with the word 'STUD' written in flowy letters on the front. Nail held his laughter...for about three seconds, before promptly breaking down and laughing himself silly.

"Woo, hey Stud, wanna model for us?" Nail said, whipping out a camera and taking a picture of Piccolo holding the underwear. The dentist merely blinked before tossing the sexy piece of clothing at his brother. He looked further in the box and raised a brow. There, lying in bubble wrap, was a small figurine of a woman holding pincers. Piccolo unwrapped the bubble wrap and read the note attached to the object.

_'This is Saint Appoline. I thought she could be your 'patron saint', because she is the saint of dentistry... I'm not bullshitting. See, after her teeth were broken in with pliers (can you say ONE tough lady?)by the bad guys, she was given a choice: She could burn to death or denounce Christ. She chose the previous, jumping into the flames and being burned alive --by herself (bad ASS). Maybe it's a coincidence that I stumbled across this... But I just thought you should know that there IS a saint for dentists, and that God loves you. Merry Christmas, buddy.'_

Piccolo blinked and handed the note to Nail, who grinned. "That kid... She's in a world of her own." He shook his head an pointed at the box. "Piccy, I think they is something still in there." Piccolo blinked and looked inside, indeed seeing two objects. The first was a bottle of pain killer. The second was a book entitled, 'Begging Forgiveness Without Sounding like a Pussy.'

Nail chuckled and nodded. "I think all of those things will come in handy. Here, open mine. You'll love it." Piccolo picked up the box from Nail and opened it, knowing there wasn't a card. They had agreed long ago that cards were for women.

"Wow, a box full of ...condoms. Well, thanks Nail, I don't...know what to say except-" Piccolo slapped his brother across the head, growling, "You are a jackass."

"Hey, hey! That was a joke...sorta. The REAL gift is in the envelope." Piccolo raised a brow and ripped open the little red paper envelope.

"Hey... What's this?" Piccolo asked quietly, looking at the contents.

"It's great, bro! I got you and a friend- a.k.a. me- tickets to a show! This shit is amazing! You'll be on the edge of your seat the whole night, it's awesome."

"...A show? Like...like a musical?" Piccolo asked, sounding confused.

"Yeah, of course brother! And trust me, it is definitely worth it. It's a special Christmas thing, only open tonight. Real exclusive, and we'll BE there!" Nail patted his brother on the back. "Now, you hungry? Because I'm going to cook a meal you'll never forget."

-

Piccolo held onto the seat of the toilet as his stomach violently relieved its contents again. He sat down on the tiled floor, a sweat breaking out at the temples. He wouldn't EVER forget that meal, THAT was for sure. Nail was, by far, the WORST cook ever. Piccolo groaned and put a hand on his stomach. He felt five years drop off his life span just thinking about it.

"Pic, bud, you ok?" Nail asked, knocking on the door.

"NO, what the hell were you trying to do, kill me?"

Nail opened the door and came in, pouting. "Bro, if I wanted to kill you I'd use my hands. I mean, come on... It wasn't THAT bad, was it?"

Piccolo's body convulsed, making him vomit into the john again. Nail swallowed nervously and backed out of the bathroom slowly.

'Hmm, maybe it was.'

-

"Well, I'm sorry about the food, ok? I really had forgotten that you were allergic to that one spice... My bad. But still, you ARE feeling better, right?"

Piccolo shook a couple of pain killers out of the bottle from Sarah and nodded. "The headache should go away soon."

Nail looked a little sad. "Well, I hope you can still enjoy yourself tonight..." He snapped his fingers a moment later, looking inspired. "Hey, I know! How about this: You can drink all you want tonight, and I won't touch a DROP of anything? Eh? I can drive the whole night, without worrying about a cab...or a DWI."

Piccolo raised a brow. "Uh, that's great and all, but I don't know if-"

"Oh, it'll be fine!" Nail said, waving it off. "Besides, after last time, I don't think I'll ever drink again." Piccolo looked at his twin skeptically.

"I'm sure."

-

"Nail, it's a bit warm in here, don't you think?" Piccolo asked his brother, loosening his tie. So far, the place was crowded, packed full of people.

"Yeah, but hey...We got front row seats, eh?" Nail grinned and poked his brother. "So how does that taste, eh?"

Piccolo looked at the Charlie in his hand. "Not bad... In fact, I really like it. I think I'll take another." He grinned at his brother, who merely shrugged.

"Well, it's your night, good buddy. Oh yeah, if you don't mind telling me... What DID you get Iris?"

Piccolo sighed and smiled, leaning back in his chair. He had previously dropped off Iris's gift at her house, leaving it in the mail box. He wasn't sure if she had family over or not, and didn't want to intrude. Just the same, he didn't want her to feel like he had forgotten about her...

"I got her perfume and chocolates." He said honestly, the alcohol making his speech a bit blunt.

"Wow, a real Don Juan." He checked his watch and grinned. "Show should start in about five minutes."

Piccolo nodded and signalled to a waitress for another round. He frowned a moment later, noticing something odd.

"Nail... That's waitress's skirt-"

"Shh, I hear them backstage. I think they're about to open the curtain!"

Piccolo wanted to say more, but two more drinks were shoved in front of him.

"Wow, that was fast..."

"Piccolo, it's starting!" Nail said with excitement, sounding like... A kid at Christmas.

"Yay." Piccolo downed the first drink and let his gaze wander to the stage. "What kind of show is-"

"Shhh!"

The curtain opened, revealing a young woman dressed in the mood of Mrs. Claus. She was followed by another person wearing Santa's attire, minus the beard. Piccolo dimly noticed how attractive the woman was for the first time. His gaze travelled around the room slowly, and somewhere in his brain, something was deemed not quite right.

Music started up to the familiar tune of 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas', followed by the voices of the two people on stage. Piccolo dully realized that the voices were BOTH female.

"Nail..." He said, the missing piece finally coming to him. "Why are there only men in the audience?"

The music turned instantly from soft, traditional family tunes to hard pumping techno, making the dentist's eyes widen.

"N-nail?"

Nail's head was moving in the beat to the music already, a grin spreading across his face. "Just be quiet, bro."

Piccolo's eyes darted to the stage, where he watched in shock as 'Santa' ripped off his costume, revealing a thin (but greatly endowed) young woman. A skimpy red bikini lined with white fur barely covered her more discreet areas, making Piccolo pale slightly.

"Nail, I can't be here... Someone might see me!"

"Yeah, and?" Nail's head stopped nodding to the music. "Think about it, Piccolo, my dear brother. If they see you HERE, what does that say about them?"

"But I'm not a pervert, I should really-"

"Sit down and shut up." Nail grinned, pointing to Piccolo's left over shot. "Drink that. I'll order you another." Piccolo tried to protest but Nail had already signalled to the waitress again. Piccolo shook his head, letting it rest afterwards in his hands.

"I am a bad person..." He drank his remaining drink and sighed. "But, at least I'm not alone." Nail nodded and slapped the dentist on the back.

"That's right, buddy... We're all in this together. Woo, take it OFF, honey!" Nail yelled suddenly to the stage, clapping along with the other men. Piccolo shook his head and sighed.

'Some things never change.' He was smiling though, watching his brother's antics. 'But sometimes...That's a good thing.'

-

Oh, I wanted to address ONE point made by you, Dbz Chicka. I stick firm to the belief that these kids with nice parents turn out to be assholes because: They have nice parents. I mean, I love my parents... But my mom wasn't afraid to put the law down when my ass got out of line. I really don't think that you can grow up without getting smacked around. I really didn't even get it from my mom...Except in church. Every other time, my siblings beat my ass. Kids, THAT'S the reason these one-child rich family kids are shit heads. They never had anyone to decently slap some sense into them. That said, thanks again for reading, and have a nice day.

Oh yeah. I AM SWITCHING FAMILIES NOW, SO I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHEN I WILL BE ABLE TO UPDATE NEXT. My only time bracket is, at the latest, three or so months, IF MY INTERNET IS CRAPPY. Otherwise... I'll try and work my ass off for you people. Take it easy.


	16. Chapter 16

Hey kids. Guess what Auntie Ace did instead of homework? That's right, she put up a forum for your questions! It's called **'The Dentist Office'**, and I will be answering questions about this story for the benefit of my favorite people in the world...Or you all. Just kidding, guys. Feel free to express concerns or congratulate me there. Until then, happy reading! Oh...I don't own Dbz.

-

Piccolo shook out two small tablets from his pain killer bottle, groaning as he did so. He felt like he was dying... He would never be able to do anything again, save for throwing up.

"It's JUST a hangover, Piccolo. Quit acting so damn dramatic." Nail was currently reading a newspaper, leafing through the various sections without much interest. "I mean, come on... I have them all the time."

"Well, that's because you are what most people would call an alcoholic." Piccolo muttered, laying down on his couch after swallowing the pills. His bare chest rose steadily as he inhaled and exhaled slowly. He felt so tired, he hadn't bothered to get dressed. He hadn't even put on any pants... just took residence on the couch. "I don't know HOW I let you talk me into staying..."

"I didn't have to. After a couple more drinks, you were right there next to me, cheering."

Piccolo blushed and covered his eyes. "God I hope no one saw me..."

Nail grinned and set the paper down. "Piccolo, you care too much about what people think. You know that, right? I keep telling you... Even IF anyone saw you, it's not like they'd bring it up... Like, 'Hey Doc, I saw you at the strip tease. I told my wife and she says hello.' " Nail patted his brother's head. "Really, it's ok. You are a man now, Piccolo."

"What the hell was I for the last thirty years?" Piccolo asked bluntly, making Nail sigh.

"A whiny little bitch."

"...That hurt. I mean, you didn't have to-"

"Piccolo!" Sarah suddenly burst in the door way, grinning. "I didn't believe you would go through with it! When Nail said...well, it doesn't matter... You are really a man now!"

Piccolo just turned over, back facing his small crowd, and sighed. "What IS it with you people? Can't anyone leave me the hell alone?"

Sarah ran up to the sulky dentist's prone figure and jumped on him, tickling his sides. "I love you! These shoes rock! I mean, converse with SKULLS? How bitching is THAT?" She hugged Piccolo and rubbed his head. "Did you like my gift?"

"Actually, some of it has already come in handy..." Piccolo muttered, putting a hand over his exposed ear. "Can you talk just a little softer, please?"

Sarah covered her mouth and hopped off the hung-over man. "Sorry, Picster!" She turned to his brother and grinned. "And YOU! You got me the BEST poker set ever! Pope John Paul II on every card, priceless!"

Nail grinned and waved off her thanks. "That really was only one of your presents..."

Sarah's eyes grew wide with wonder as she slowly walked towards Nail. "There's more?"

Nail smirked and nodded, motioning her to follow him. They went up the stairs, and a door closed a moment later. Piccolo raised an eyebrow as he watched the pair leave, grateful for the temporary lapse in talking. The silence only lasted a moment before a scream pierced his ears, making him instantly alert. He rushed to the second level, wondering wildly what could be the matter. He threw open the door to Nail's room to find-

A kitty.

Sarah was squealing with delight as she petted the small animal lovingly. "It's so sweet! Oh my gosh, I've always wanted a kitty that is cute and cuddly!" She stroked the little pet with care and grinned at Piccolo. "Isn't he darling, Pic?"

Piccolo's face held a slight frown, then changed into a strange expression as his nose wrinkled up and his eyes shut tightly. A moment later he sneezed violently, followed by two more seconds later. He sniffled and pulled out a tissue, blowing his nose. His eyes were red and watery as he glared in repulsion at the guilty little cat.

"Nail, what the hell were you thinking, bringing a damn cat in here? You KNOW I'm allergic, you asshole!" He sneezed again, making Sarah whimper.

"But Piccolo, can't you take some allergy medicine or something? I mean, I wanna bring the kitty over when I visit...He's so cute! Look look, he dances!" She made his little paws move from side to side, while the cat sat there looking like it needed depression pills.

Nail grinned, leaning against the wall. Piccolo's set his sights on his brother and growled. "You did that on purpose. What is your goddamn problem?"

Nail shrugged and chuckled. "Look, is it really going to kill you, Piccolo? I had to get it... Like the kid said, it's sooo cute." He petted the little animal on the head and gently took it from the kid's grasp. He held it up a moment later, practically shoving it in Piccolo's face.

"See? He looooves you, bro! Go on, give him a nice pet." Nail laughed, watching the dentist's expression go from pissed off to horrified.

"Get that nasty thing away from me! I hate animals! You know that. Remember when we were kids, and you HAD to have that stupid dog? The one that freakin' chewed through EVERY cable in my room? Son of a bitch. Pets are nothing but trouble, and the kid can not bring that...that monstrosíty in this house, ever again." Piccolo agitatedly rubbed a hand across the back of his face, where tears were freely running down his cheeks. He was really allergic to the damn things. Nail handed it back to Sarah, shrugging. As if on cue, the darling kitty meowed softly, licking Sarah's fingers.

"Ok, I can keep it at home..." Sarah pouted, kissing the kitty on the top of the head. "But I'm not happy!"

"Oh no, I am a terrible person and I will go straight to Hell." Piccolo said in a monotone voice, making Sarah frown.

Before she could say anything, though, the door bell rang. Piccolo groaned and went downstairs. Who could be here the day after Christmas? When he got to the door, he looked through the peep glass and gasped. Iris was standing there, holding something in her hands. The dentist looked down at himself and groaned. He was only in his boxers! He couldn't open the door like this! He growled at Nail, pointing a finger at his chest.

"Answer it...but act normal. DON'T say anything other than Merry Christmas, ok? Just...talk about the weather or something." Nail grinned an saluted Piccolo like a captain, striding towards the door cockily. Piccolo turned on his heels and fled to the stairs. He went back upstairs in a moment's time and into Nail's room, finding Sarah still playing with the kitty.

"Cat, I'm a kitty cat! And I dance dance dance, dance dance dance- Cat! I'm a kitty cat, and I-"

She stopped abruptly and looked at Piccolo innocently. Her hands were still holding the animal's tiny paws up. Her eyes quickly shifted to the cat and back to Piccolo. "Uh..."

Piccolo groaned and slapped his head. "Look, I don't have time now. Help me find a pair of pants, ok? I'm going to find a shirt."

He left the kid and went into the small walk-in closet ajoined to the room. He searched for a decent shirt to wear, coming back with a plain collared shirt. Sarah tossed him a pair of jeans, obviously confused.

"What the hell is going on, Piccolo?" She asked, frowning slightly. "I mean, here you were, bitching and moaning about Spock-"

"You named that thing Spock?" Piccolo asked, pulling up the jeans in a hurry. "And quit looking at me."

Sarah rolled her eyes and turned slightly, so her gaze wasn't on Piccolo. "Get bent, Spock rules. I mean, it was that or Oswald... But I thought that sounded kinda gay, you know? And Pinkus sounds too much like penis... ANYWAY, what's the deal? Is someone here now or what?"

Piccolo pulled the shirt over his head and straightened the collar slightly. "Yeah. Iris is down there." He picked up a tie that was folded on the chest of drawers and threw it on. He tied it perfectly within a matter of seconds, letting the air he had been holding out through his teeth in a small hiss.

Sarah's eyes grew slightly larger as she bit her lip, thinking. "Wow. Umm, Nail is down there now, right? Is that ok? I mean, I thought you wanted to keep Nail from really talking with-"

"I couldn't answer the door like I was! Come on, it's way too late in the day for me to be walking around in my boxers... It would look like I was some kind of-"

"Lush?" Sarah finished, making Piccolo growl.

"Ever wonder what makes some people's opinions more valued than others, kid?" He went to the door and opened it softly. "Stay up here until I say come down... Hopefully she won't want to stay long enough for you and Nail to talk with her." Sarah held up a very rude gesture but said nothing as Piccolo walked out of the room, and soon after down the staircase.

'_All I have to do is act natural.' _He thought with more confidence than he felt. He froze when he saw Nail and Iris laughing together, losing all coherent thought. '_What the hell am I thinking? I don't know what I'm doing... I'm going to end up fucking it up, plain and simple.'_

"Piccolo, bro! You have a visitor." Nail said in a voice that sounded friendly to most people. Piccolo, however, knew that he was being extremely sarcastic, and wanted nothing more than to strangle his brother with whatever was nearest.

"Iris, hi... Merry Christmas!" Piccolo said, receiving a warm hug and a shy kiss on the cheek from the woman. The dentist felt his ears redden slightly, but tried to keep cool.

"Merry Christmas, Piccolo! I um...I brought you something... I wanted to drop it off earlier, but I had relatives come in...I was swamped." She gave her small smile that made Piccolo tingle inside, and continued. "Thanks so much for the gifts...That was so thoughtful of you. You even got something for Noah!" At this statement Nail's brow rose from behind Iris's back. Piccolo hadn't mentioned that to him. He did the thumbs-up just the same, and coughed slightly.

"I need to visit some people, so I'm just going to...let myself out. Iris, nice to see you again... Glad it's under these conditions, and not because of my brother's blindness. Have a nice holiday, ok?" He winked at Piccolo and left, shutting the front door a moment later. Iris giggled and shook her head.

"You two are really different... You know, he makes the silliest jokes ever. When I asked how you all spent Christmas, he said he took you to...I know this is ridiculous, but to a strip show!" Iris burst out laughing at the look on Piccolo's face. It was a mix between shock and turning a pale, sickly-green. "Oh, come on. I know he was just playing. But still, it does make for a funny scene, imagining you there..." Iris wiped a tear away, the result of her laughing. "Seriously, what did you all do?"

Piccolo's eyes darted to the side as he grinned softly. "Nope, Nail was right... He had to carry me back home last night."

Iris burst into hysterics again at the statement, clearly not believing the dentist (to his relief). She shook her head and pushed a stray lock of hair from her glowing face. "Maybe you two aren't so different. I wasn't aware you could be so naughty!" She joked, playfullyhitting Piccolo's shoulder. Piccolo grinned back, this time completely relaxed.

'_Nail was right, in a twisted way...It really is less stressful to tell the truth.'_ He raised a brow and shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a lost cause." His toothy grin turned into a soft smile as he gently took Iris's hand. "Could you stay for a cup of coffee or something? I would offer to cook you something... But I am severley lacking in that department."

Iris smiled back and squeezed Piccolo's hand. "Coffee sounds good, thanks."

-

Will everything turn out ok? Will Piccolo finally spill the truth to his new-found admiration? Or will things take a turn for the worse?

Only the next chapter can tell.

-Ace

Oh yeah, go to my new forum!


	17. Chapter 17

It's been a while since I've last updated this fic… But I think I'm ready to start once again on my favorite child, The Dentist. I don't own Dbz.

-

Piccolo grinned at the item in his hands and laughed, shaking his head as he did so. He held a fairly large book called, 'The Dentist's Office', which hosted a drill on the front cover. Iris had insisted he open her gift while they waited for the coffee, and Piccolo agreed.

"I had recalled reading that book a couple of months ago, and thought of you. It's about this crazy dentist who has insane relationships with his patients." Iris giggled and covered her eyes. "It's extremely funny, I promise. He's kind of depressed, and gets high on happy gas when no one is around. Then he just ends up getting into trouble with the authorities… It's great." Piccolo chuckled and held up the book.

"Are you trying to suggest something?" He asked playfully, making Iris grin.

"Nah. I'm sure you don't drug your patients and try to take advantage of them." Piccolo's eyes widened briefly before Iris burst out laughing again at the expression. "I'm kidding!" She took a sip of coffee and pointed at the dentist's tie. "Oh yeah, I forgot to ask. Do you have somewhere to go?"

Piccolo raised a brow and shook his head, smiling in confusion. "No…?"

Iris set down her mug and loosened Piccolo's tie, taking it off a moment later. Piccolo felt blood rush to his cheeks at the close contact, but forced himself to remain calm.

"It was making me nervous." Iris confessed, laughing at Piccolo's dumbfounded look. "I felt like you were getting ready to go to the office or something."

Piccolo grinned and shook his head. "Sorry, habit." He tapped his index finger on the mug a moment before taking a deep breath. He knew that he had been gathering courage the past few moments, and that he felt sure he could tell the truth. He exhaled and folded his hands together. "Iris, there's something I have been wanting to tell you."

"Piccolo, is everything all right? You sound so serious." Iris smiled and held Piccolo's hand in her own soft one. "I'm sure it's nothing bad, and you can tell me whatever is bothering you."

Piccolo swallowed and looked at Iris's fingers, slightly enveloped by his own large ones. His gaze travelled up her arm, to her shoulders, neck, chin, and finally her face. His eyes settled on hers as he inwardly ground his teeth. She really was beautiful and kind looking. Her face reminded him of a picture he once saw in an art gallery. The woman had looked calmly caring and friendly, even though chaos had been the theme for the background. That's what he felt like now. The only difference was the chaos was whirling inside of him, and he was about to let it out on this wonderful lady. He could see himself in the pupils of her large eyes, and wanted to kick himself for having ever deceived her as she squeezed his hand slightly.

"It's about Sarah. Iris, I can't…I don't know how to say it. Sarah is-" Piccolo's words caught in his throat as he felt-in horror- a tear slide down his cheek. His throat constricted and his nose burned as he tried to get out the words. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' Piccolo wondered wildly to himself, when a sudden inspiration struck him. 'That damned CAT must be around here, somewhere… And where it is, the kid is likely to be right there too.' Piccolo chewed his lip as he struggled to force down the allergic reaction. He looked into Iris's eyes, expecting her to be disgusted with his seemingly weak disposition. However, he found that a heartfelt sympathy lay there instead, confusing him. He knew that he had to set her straight now, before he lost his nerve. Taking a deep breath, he began to tell Iris the truth, when he choked slightly on the dry air strangling his throat. It must have looked like a sob, however, since Iris reached a hand over to Piccolo and stroked his arm, smiling kindly.

"It's ok, Piccolo. I know how hard it is, but you don't have to talk until you are ready."

'Damn it.' Piccolo thought bitterly as Iris continued to stroke him lovingly. 'Now she probably thinks I'm some bleeding heart single dad. How the hell am I supposed to get out of this one?'

-

"Piccolo, I'm s-so sorry. Spock clawed me, an-and I dropped him, an-and he r-ran down the st-stairs…" Sarah's bottom lip quivered as Piccolo looked at her coldly. And hour had gone by since Iris had gone home, and a lot had happened since then. After Piccolo's failed attempt to explain the whole situation, Iris had just consoled him and said they could talk about it later. She had suggested they take a walk, and switch subjects. And even though Piccolo had to admit it felt good being practically petted by such a kind woman, he couldn't help but feel upset at the missed opportunity. He knew that happiness wasn't a stone's throw away, but still…

He turned to face the kid, and was surprised to see her eyes bright red, making the iris's blue color stand out boldly. He realized that tears were threatening to burst the aqueducts of her lids, and that his misfortune was the cause of it.

"Hey, come on…it's not that big of a deal. I'll just bring it up again next time. Don't sweat it." He patted her shaky shoulder slightly, unsure of what to do. The next instant shocked him even more as she threw her small form into his, sobbing. He felt his shirt become slightly wet from her freely flowing tears, and tensed automatically. What had he done? Was the kid really feeling so guilty?

"I said don't worry about it, kid. Come on, it's ok…please don't cry." Sarah looked up into Piccolo's face and sniffled, stopping the flow of tears. She let her grip on him slip and returned to her original position, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"I know, it's just…" She blushed and smiled wryly. "It's that time of the month."

Piccolo raised a brow at first, and the silence grew very noticeable in the room. Both figures merely stared at one another until Sarah's form started shaking again, only this time- she was trying not to burst out laughing. Her laughter came out in short bursts, and became contagious. Piccolo began to chuckle and shake his head, biting his lip.

"You're disgusting." He said simply, messing her hair up as they walked towards the kitchen together. Sarah grinned and shrugged, skipping along in an obvious mood swing.

"So is sex. Just think about it in completely medical terms. Gross." She made a face at Piccolo and they both laughed at the sheer absurdity of the conversation. "I'm hungry. Is it cool if I order Chinese?" She was already towards the phone in the kitchen, grinning. "You want something? Well, I'm a social eater, so you're eating too. We'll get you some flied lice, roh-k? Roh-k, flied lice… I bet they'll go rearry rearry srow, too." Piccolo snorted at the kid'ssomewhat racist Asian impersonation.

"You're terrible, you know that?"

-

Nail paced the room up and down, sending disgusted looks at Piccolo every now and then. "So you didn't tell her, huh? Typical. Beautiful chance, ruined. Think about it: Not in public (no humiliation), your own house (you'd know where to run if things went for the worst), no sharp knives in the vicinity (like at a restaurant, where the bitch can stab you to death while waiting for the soup)… And yet you still fucked up?" Sarah slurped her noodles loudly, getting a glare from Nail. She grinned nervously and looked to the side, putting the Chinese take-out on the coffee table.

"If you hadn't brought that God-forsaken creature here, I would have done it, ok?"

The darling 'God-forsaken creature' gave a tiny meow as Sarah covered it's ears. "Don't listen to him, sweetheart! He doesn't mean it." She petted the adorable kitten until it caught one of her fingers in its mouth. "Oh, how sweet! Look, he's kissing my finger-OW" Little Spock was now biting down harshly on the kid's finger, drawing blood. "Little ass clown, I'll sell you to the Chinese deliver guy and let him make kitty stew with you! Stupid pus-spewing, organ pile, sin-against-God!" Sarah yelled. She looked into the kitten's eyes and softened, petting it's tiny head a moment later. "Aww, I can't stay mad at you. You are just too cute!" She cuddled with the kitten before dropping it on her lap. "Hey Piccolo! Maybe Iris won't kill you when you tell her! Maybe she'll think you're so adorable, she won't rip your heart out and make you eat it."

"Piccolo adorable?" Nail asked sceptically, raising a brow. "Please. Just LOOK at the man."

"We're twins, ass wipe! Quit acting like you can look different than I can!" Piccolo said heatedly, making Nail hiss playfully.

"I can look adorable. Check it out." Nail's eyes widened into large Bambi-like saucers as his lips formed a little pout. He moved over to Sarah and took one of her hands, giving her the big eyes the entire time. "Would you kill the pope for me?" He asked in a small voice, adding a slight whimper afterwards. Sarah looked ready to squeal as she pinched Nail's cheeks, rubbing her nose against his.

"How sweeeet! Look at his little mouth, all pouty like that…Ooooo, of course I will, schnookums! Picceeeee, just LOOK at how darling he is! Why can't your stupid lazy ass be like Nail, huh?" Sarah tightly hugged Nail around the neck and swayed back and forth. "Awww, he's just wike a wittle puppy!"

"Stop it, I'm about to hurl." Piccolo said in disgust, making Nail return to normal.

"You see? All you have to do is put on the puppy face, and no woman can resist."

Piccolo looked at Sarah and sighed. "You guys are right. I really got to tell her soon, huh?"

Both Nail and Sarah nodded their heads as if to say, 'No shit, jackass.' That's how Piccolo interpreted it, anyway, and left the room to go think. Nail turned to Sarah once his brother was gone and smiled.

"I don't see why you like Piccolo so much. He acts like such a little bitch!"

"At least he doesn't cry like a little bitch." Sarah said, picking up her noodle carton. "You're right, though. Manliness is hitting a low point. We need to stimulate it, somehow." Sarah scratched her temple with a chopstick before snapping her fingers with the other hand. "Hey, we could tie Iris up to railroad tracks and make Piccolo save her! He could be the over-masculine hero, right? Practically radiating testosterone." She dove into her food and slurped her noodles loudly. "Or you could just make him see how good it is to be manly." She suggested as an afterthought, swallowing audibly. "Personally, most things guys do are gross, but my brothers insist it's a heck of a lot better to be a disgusting guy than a girly pussy."

Nail rubbed his chin and nodded. "You're right. Piccolo needs to learn how to be the romantic, but for his own well-being, a manhood course for at home is needed. To the batcave!" He said sarcastically, leaning back in his chair. "Weeell, after this…the game's on in a couple of minutes." Sarah merely grinned.

"Exactly the mind set we're going for."

-

I am going to see my friends for the first time in over seven months. I am so PUMPED! We're going to Dresden too, so don't expect updates for a while until after next Tuesday. I'm so excited, I just can't hide it!

Oh, I'll try to do something with Aces Wild, but no promises… Until next time!

-Ace


End file.
